Hello, guys. Well, today is my first day of my healing process and I already broke one part of my silence on my phone. I just had to tell somebody about the stove. That... would have to be another story for you guys.
Today is going to be about love. What is love? Well, love is not always that thing you see only on Valentine's Day. Love is the person you care about, the person who raise you. The person that listens to you. Love is everywhere. But love can be confusing as well hurtful. I've been holding off to tell you all about love.
Love can destroy you. Love can heal you. Love can be dangerous. Love can be betrayed. Love can be deception. But you know, I learn something about love over the past few days. And love is powerful.
I know it would be impossible to take back time. But I will take him back anytime. I'm not mentioning a name because... well, I do know one thing... I was happy more with him than anybody else. I was more open. I... really hope I find somebody like him again. The world is a vast place. And with my mind set on a mission and a goal... who knows what I will find in this big place?
Love is strong for me now. Because I'm healing using it. I have decided that life shouldn't be without love. So I am best friends with my ex. And I care about him as a best friend should. I will be there to listen to his problems. I will be myself once again. I'll even support him for his next girlfriend... I'm healing, ok? It helps to talk things out.
I just realize that... I can't keep relying on men and boyfriends to help me make me happy anymore. I am going to make myself happy. Sure there will be a path someday that I will find my soul mate. But it won't be any of my exes. And I accepted the fact that I'm not just a human being. I'm not just an angel. I'm not just anything. I'm a complicated being that is still learning what life is all about.
Maybe all this week... I will talk about something different. What do you guys think? My views always change so I'm not a one-sided type of person. My mind is always open to new ideas and thoughts. My heart is always open to welcome anybody as a friend, sister, mother, daughter, and someday a lover or a wife.
But from now on... If I get into a relationship... it'll have to start slow. No longer it should be about sex, guys. It should be about trust, faith, and friendship of the relationship.
So... I am getting my balance back in myself. And don't worry... I'm not blaming myself anymore. So... that's a start.
So tomorrow's topic should be... something else. :)
With love,
BDK
"Do you know the animal that devours dreams?" "Baku" "Bzzzz, wrong answer!" "Then what is it?" "The animal that devours dreams is... human." - from Bakemonogatari.
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