24 Days Until My Surgery

 Today is the last day of the month... and starts the countdown... 

24 days until my surgery.

Hopefully, all will goes well.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Tired, So Very Tired

I hate the feeling of being so tired sometimes. It sucks a lot.

I gotta work on that. But I don't I can because of my medication and I have to take it all until it's gone.

So yea... let's hope for the best for me.

I know that tomorrow I am going to my aunt's house and I'm not looking forward to that at all.

Shall get back to my journals.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Research Time

 I finally got something to put all my clothes in. And I'm happy for that. Now I am tired... and want to rest for the most part.

But I got all these journals to do. So yea. 

Anyway, I gotta do a lot of research and quite possibly set an apartment up for my partner so she can come here safely.

I hope that all will get better now.

See ya tomorrow.

B

I Need To Get Out of Here

Ok, let's hope that everything will get better.

Either way... I need to get out of here.

In hopes that tomorrow will get better.

And yea, I'm too tired to get through the day and just feel okay about it.

As my brother was here and I needed to print my papers out. I'm good so far...

Dead tired... but good so far.

See ya tomorrow.

B

I Wish...

Sometimes I wish people would listen to me more.

I am not okay. I will never be okay. And I just hope that surgery helps with it all.

I should be ready to get back to my journals.

So yea...

See ya tomorrow.

B

Cancer Free Still

 I'm cancer free still. I just love hearing the words that I am free of cancer. Then they lower my medication down which makes it even better.

I am going to try my best to get through the rest of the day as I am doing double the amount of journals. If by June 23rd that I didn't get to my goal, I will stop there and wait until my recovery to get back to it.

Also, I will be sure to add notes where I stopped at so I can keep tract after my recovery to catch up. Which is gonna be fun and a bitch at the same time.

Oh, well. I should be fine.

Anyway, that's all for now.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Hate Getting Distracted

I hate getting distracted. But I have to since I am doing double on every single thing. But yea. I should be okay. And I am tired.

I am trying my best to make sure that this gets done. I might actually get burnt out by the end comes, but then I know that everything will be okay.

Shall get back to my journals. So... see ya tomorrow.

B

It's That Time Now... A Month Until My Surgery Date

It's that time that I am going to start doing things a bit more. I am adding more entries to my journals so that I can catch up with them as much as possible. If I don't do them all, then I don't have to worry about it until another day.

But here's the problem with doing that...

I am going to have to schedule some entries for my blog as I am taking a break from my computer for 2 full weeks. It's only my blog that will be extra for those days...

However, for my journals I am going to do double until the day before my surgery... then I am stopping and letting go of them until either between Day 189 and/or Day 212. So it would be 2 weeks after or until August.

We shall see how this works out.

But just giving a heads up... these blogs will be schedule with very short messages stating that I am taking a break and so forth.

See ya tomorrow.

B

I Hate Headaches

I hate headaches... and not sure what to do with that. 

But I think a lot of it is because of my period. That's okay to deal with. Anyway, I do want to finish up with my journals.

See ya tomorrow.

B

I want to be happy.

 I'm not okay. I feel like my parents are trying to keep me trapped in this world of theirs... I am not okay.

I will never be okay.

Can't someone help me escape from it all.

I want to be happy.

See ya tomorrow.

B

That's... Fun...?

I am going to say this... but I should be okay. My stomach is hating me. 

I should be okay. I just haven't been having the very best of the day. My hip hurts. My body aches. My head feels fuzzy. 

I'm just tired and want to run away from it all.

I just hope that tomorrow will be better, but I won't be home as I will be going to my doctor tomorrow. That's fun.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Everything On My Mind

I have everything on my mind and drama isn't one of them. I really want people to leave me out of it.

I just don't understand people anymore.

Oh, well.

I should be okay. And I hope that things will be different in the future.

Anyway, I am gonna be waiting for my wife to come home finally.

See ya tomorrow.

B

I'm Nervous

 I'm nervous. She's coming here. And I'm happy and nervous at the same time. 

And I don't care what my parents say... they are not healthy. They can't take care of me. Not that way anymore.

I'm 40 and I'm done with how they are treating me.

After surgery, I'm gonna make plans to earn money in hopes to get the fuck out of here.

Anyway, I can't wait to see her... and hold her close.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Making That Announcement This Week

I got a lot of stuff on my mind and it's kind of weird to say.

Taking a step one at a time and I want to be strong for everybody.

And soon... I'm making that announcement stating that I'll be busy for the first couple weeks of June... getting things all scheduled for surgery date as I am taking a break for almost 2 full weeks.

I shall get through the day... and finish what I was doing.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Moving Books Up To Read Them Soon

I am so glad that today is a bit more better than yesterday and last night. Our power went out two times in a roll... so it's not fun to deal with it.

I am going to try my best to get through the rest of the day... but dealing with someone who deals with nic fits... its not fun at all.

I did a lot in my room on one side.  Moving books up to where I can read them... hopefully that will be soon.

I should be okay for the most part.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Power was out

 Because my power was out... I can't say anything much here.

B

Month Is Half Over

Sometimes I hope that tomorrow will come any faster, but realized that the month is half over... and well, who knows what else is gonna happen next.

Surgery is coming up on June 24th... then so forth.

I just have a lot of time to think and to heal. So let's hope for the best.

I shall get back to my daily journals and hope all will get better.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Nervous About June

I'm getting nervous as the surgery date gets closer. It will be June before we know it and yea...

I just hope that tomorrow will get better for me.

Anyway, I should say that I should get things planned out and... emergency things as well.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Things Ahead of Time

It's been decided that on May 24th and so forth, I am concentrating on the surgery... then taking two full weeks off VRC... because I need to focus on healing rather than worrying about online world.

I shall get back to my journals and hope that all will be better.

I hope all will get better for everybody else.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Changes Are Happening Soon

I just hope that luck will be good for all of us soon.

I am trying to get through the day in hopes that I can rest later. I do need to make two videos tonight... and pretty soon, 4 videos a day.

That's gonna be a bit harder to do.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Happy Mother's Day

Just another Sunday... but happy mother's day. So yay me.

I'm not sure what to do anymore, but who knows. We shall see what happens next.

I shall get back to my journals and hope that tomorrow will get better.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Understanding People More

I am understanding what things are how it is... and it's not really okay.

I am trying my best to get through the day and understanding what is going on with my partner. People are jealous of us... and the reasoning of how I keep with her this long.

I am a fighter. I don't care what people says. I will fight for her. And defend her.

Don't test me.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Interesting Direction

I am feeling like things are heading into a very interesting direction. What that direction is.... well, it's a bit unknown right now.

I should get back to my journals and hopefully things will be alright for me. 

I shall let y'all know what's up.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Dance Away The Night Away

I just want to wake up and try to dance away the night away.

Just hope that all will be alright.

And death is not simple... who knew.

I just want to get through it all in hopes that all will be better.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Am I?

 Sometimes I have doubts with my own mind and I wanna write a song or poem about what overthinking is like...

Should it be called Am I?

We shall see.

I'm gonna finish this and hope for the best for me.

See ya tomorrow.

B

My Birthday Today

 Have you ever get to that point in life and just overthink everything? Yea, me too.

I just feel like my birthday is about to be ruined by the end of the day... and I won't be happy at all.

So yea... my mind is all over the place right now.

I should rest... and well, enjoy it even if I have to alone.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Block and move on

 Some people just loves to ruin my days ahead... and I'm done with all the BS.

So stop it already and grow up.

Block and move on.

That's all you gotta do.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Celebrating My Birthday Soon

I'm celebrating my birthday soon. Yay me.

Hopefully all will be well.

Anyway, I am alright, just a bit tired. Sleepy... but I wanna be there for my kiddos.

So yea...

See ya tomorrow.

B

Yay Me

I am glad that I went to Walmart and stuff. But I am really tired af.

I should be okay for the most part.

I hope that tomorrow will be good... despite the pain in my right hip.

So yay me.

Birthday in 3 days.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Pain Comes Out of Nowhere

 I hate that pain just comes out of nowhere and I just have to deal with it for most of the day.

So hope all will get better, but who knows really.

I should be okay, for the most part. I won't be home tomorrow and that's okay... I guess.

See ya tomorrow.

B