Well... I don't know what to say. I'm glad to have somebody to help but they know they don't have to.
Anyways, not sure what to put here. I do have great news: My net is working well tonight. I got a new modem. And it's... black and green instead of white. O_O
It seems to be faster...
So that's good, right?
Anyways, not a lot happened today because the phone person didn't came back to fix the phones until late. He replaced the phone jack and my modem. I didn't know the box was burnt up until my mom told me. So, I'm glad to have a new modem.
Well... I am unwell right now. I do dread this weekend because anything could happen.
Oh... I was thinking about something about my story... I am changing it completely.
Because... well... I just remembered a few things.
Anyways, let's just skip that right now and get on with my life... you all want to know what is going on today, right?
Well, same thing as it happens everyday. I woke up with rain in the middle of the night. And my mom telling me that the door was wide open. What is up with that? The funny part... the screen door was still locked. So... yep... strange.
And here's a script of the conversation my mom has been telling me all the day...
Mom: We should leave.
Mom: We should buy a car.
Mom: We should blame your dad.
Mom: We should forgive Bud.
Mom: We should leave.
Mom: We. We. We. We.
That's all I heard everyday of my life. When is these things going to happen, mom? You have no idea, do you? Stop saying those things if you know you're not going to do them. Simple as that.
Well, I tell you what... I accept any help as long it takes me away.
I hate blaming my family because I love them but sometimes, I wonder... if they truly do care about how I feel. I know my brother can't help because he's got a life. Why can't anybody see that? I do. I want a life.
That's all I want. I want a life.
A life of my own.
No parent telling me what I should do or not do. They taught me what they know and I am smart enough to see that. I thank them every day but this is 2013... it's time to let go of me just a bit. I want to help you. Not the other way around. Truly... I'm thankful for those things... but you guys really don't know how it makes me feel. Everyday, I feel guilty when my dad gives me money. Because I know how he feels about it. Everyday, I know how my mom feels when she helps me. She thinks she is doing a good thing but in reality, she needs the money for herself than me. Can't they see? I want to change my life so I can help them. They aren't going to live forever. And my dad's not going to work forever. Life is harsh but why can't they... let me go?
That is all.
With love,
BDK
PS: Happy 34th birthday to my brother! He's awesome. At least he got away from here while he can. I will be next, bro. Just wait!
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