90 of 365: Want to hit my head...

I mean... seriously...

I'm in the worst mood ever because my dad and mom... it seems my dad moods like to spread to me for no reason.

I want to hit my head a thousand times... I'm too smart for my mom to make me feel dumb right now... Ugh... WHY?! *hits her head*

Anyways, I'm tired of it all. It's getting on my nerves and I'm trying really hard to be in a good mood but nothing is working. NOTHING!

Well, I'm done ranting now...

So I'm not sure what is going on... I just somebody gives me a straight answer.

That's all.

With love,

BDK

89 of 365: Alright... Idea!

I'm guessing you all wondering what I meant by that. Well, since I wanted to watch anime and read books again (basically, after I get a job, I will get more~)

I will be posting reviews (thank god I can add bold and Italic on here.)

Of course, I will be expecting requests of books to read and stuff.

As for anime, I've seen over 100. xD That is only since 2005. o/ But that's still a lot. I got a memory bank of all the anime, movies, music, and books that I've read or seen or heard... it's not normal.

Anyways, I mostly do my book reviews on goodreads.com. If you wish to add me, you must be able to find me there. I'm not sure how I ended up with goodreads.com in the first place.

So today... my review will be of that website.

The website is a good place to add books and yes, there are manga and comics there. You can also follow your favorite authors on there and add as many as books you wish to read or want to read. And since it hooks up with facebook, you can show your friends what you are currently reading too. I actually love the website myself because I can show my friends what books that I enjoy to reading. Sadly, I haven't been reading much because I kind of lost interest in books for as of right now. But I will start reading at night.

So... that's my plan... watch anime by day, read by night. o/

Anyways, I got to complete two more Manga (kind of got out of those only because most and half of them are anime now... sure some of them has different stories... but I go through spells!)

Don't blame me if I suddenly go out of my anime stage! Or my book stage! Or any stage at all! O_O

I mean... my life is completely random... so I don't know really what I'll be doing next. But since I still want to go back to college and complete my degree in English (I'm trying to decide if I should do two or three degrees... it's possible but I'm really wondering if I should do that)

Anyways... there are other things that I wish to talk about but I'm at my limit for now. Btw, I'm listing my goodreads account in the bottom so that you can actually check it out yourself. o/

So that's all.

Ja Ne

With love,

BDK

PS: Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/ankisal <--- my account. You may add me if you wish. :) (also, I can't get my link option to work so you'll have to copy and paste... sorry)

88 of 365: Closer to April

2 more days and I'll do a random monthly update for you guys.

Alright, I wish I knew who are reading but I am only getting between 6 to 8 people reading a day based on my blog dashboard.

So I think it's time to promote to get more people to like my facebook page and yes... I am gonna start doing more videos. They are gonna be random, but once I figure out how to edit videos and making sure the recording thing doesn't try to be an ass... I'll be right there.

I think for my next session is reading books. Is that still allowed on youtube? Somebody tell me.

I want to do reading, dancing, singing, vlogging, recording, and some random videos for youtube. I want to try a daily routine but that's hard for me because of lack of boredom. xD

Yes, I said "lack of boredom". xD

Anyways, for now I have this blog but it seems to not be going anywhere...

Well, I'm not giving up on it! Don't think I'm gonna give up on something that I have hopes to finish! And to continue for the next year and so. That's my goal. And I hope to bring in more people to read... it seems I'm attracting some people on youtube... so I'll do both, while advertising for my blog on youtube AND also try to advertise my youtube on my FB page. I am gonna actually use Ankisal more often!

In fact... I think I might do a video sometime this weekend on promoting my blog. >_> Since the other one by Raiken didn't attract anybody some reason.

My goals for this year is getting set because I want to go to some places... Actually I want to be an Otaku but... you know... that's life there.

Anyways... I'm promoting my blog on youtube and I should do random video soon... don't be expecting it because I really need to get into this. xD

That's all!

With love,

BDK

87 of 365: Chloe Days (or Dog Days)

Chloe is my dog, if you're wondering what I meant xD

Anyways, not a lot things to put down because tomorrow I am gonna try to walk around and at least see if there is any jobs left here. I'll be lucky if any of them hires me.

Might as well say... this is my last attempt for this town. I mean, seriously... I want to try to get back my disability check but I don't know what will happen.

You see... June 6th is an important date for me. I have a hearing with the SSA judge in Lexington with a lawyer that my mom found for me. BUT: I already told my family and people who are close to me that THIS IS THE LAST TIME. I'm ending the attempted to get my SSI check after this. Because it's pointless. But I think it's something that my family dreams about me getting. They just don't know the reality part of how hard that is.

Sure, I can't hear well. Sure, I have a weak immune system. Sure, I am depressed. But I don't need it. So... yea... The real question now is: Should I wait until June 6 is over? Should I go ahead get a job? Should I just become an Otaku and have life? You saw what I did there?

Anyways... who knows what life brings. I am going to find a job. I'm going to go back to college. And I'm gonna travel the world... Even try to live in Asia.

And just now, my mom is like "I don't know if you should live in Asia." Really, mom? Really?

I better be careful what I type on here because I realize... my mom liked my page on FB. Uh... Oh... xD

I don't care. It's the only way to speak my mind as of right now.

That is all

With love,

BDK

86 of 365: I Can See Spring Coming!

It seems spring has finally decided to start appearing to all of us.

Hopefully here to stay.

Anyways, not a lot of things to put on here because I'm getting sleepy and such. But who knows what will happen later on.

I'm gonna start experimenting on things such as playing games and posting it on youtube. But there's too many of them? Yes. But my youtube account is random anyways.

My account on youtube is Ankisal if anybody is wondering. Of course, my friend is Raiken Jenova. You guys should go check it out. Yep.

Anyways, that is all.

With love,

BDK

85 of 365: Cold But Glad For The Change

The Change in the weather is soon. I can feel it. Yay!

Anyways, not sure what to expect since life is being weird for me right now.

I'm updating this early since I want to play Sims 3 Pets now.

So this will be short for now.

So...

That's all for now.

With love,

BDK

84 of 365: One more Day of Snow.

Also, learn that yesterday, during the tiny storm we had, there was a small tornado landed in the county next to us. The first thought that came to my mind "Ah, crap." Because next month is gonna be a tough month to get used to. With the tornadoes coming in, it's gonna be tough for all of us here.

Anyways, I hate snow and cold weather. I think it's time for me to move to a warmer climate so that I can concentrate on not getting sick. I wonder if it would help me if I did go to warmer place.

I do know one thing: I'll do more outside stuff if it is warmer every day of the year. Yep...

Well, I'm keeping this short again... So... That's all.

With love,

BDK

83 of 365: Snow tonight, tomorrow, Tuesday. No!

xD I'm bored and decided to call that title that. Anyways, not a lot went on today.

Been on youtube mostly all day. I can't help it! I'm addicted on the next update of PewDiePie. I love his videos now because they make me laugh. xD

Anyways... so I am treating my life like a lesson. Each lesson is something that will make me stronger. 3 years, I will be 30 years old. Yes, I'm an oldie but if I stay stress free and such, I'll be happy.

And so I will attempt to try new things now! So that I won't be afraid anymore. I hate being scared on most anything.

Right now, small things scare and worry me. But I'll be fine.

That is all.

With love,

BDK

82 of 365: Pizza Galore!

Um, yea. eating pizza right now. xD

Anyways, not a lot to talk about today. We went around Berea to look for a truck for my dad because he wants a truck like my brothers but smaller.

When we got home, I ended up taking a long nap. A headache is usually caused from thinking too much or subconscious thoughts. And literally, I've been sad for two days and today so far. Something has happened but I don't know what.

Whatever happened, I hoped it wasn't bad.

That's all.

With love,

BDK

81 of 365: Can't Believe It...

I was kind of busy today. Can't reveal much because well, I'm still kind of depressed and such.

All of this weather is driving me crazy...

I'm jealous of those who live in warmer climates... xD

Anyways, that is all.

With love,

BDK

PS: Yes, it is short but I'm really tired.

80 of 365: Painful Dreams

I recall a dream that was very painful to remember. I wanted to run and hide and never come back to that dream.

But that dream always keep coming back. Even while I'm awake... I feel like the dream is closing in on me and trying make me live in a real nightmare.

So what makes me still alive?

My other self.

That's all.

With love,

BDK

79 of 365: Who Are You?

I'm not sure what to expect in my life but everyday I get closer to a day that somebody wishes for my to invest towards my life. But what will it bring? Because it's not simple to learn how to drive. And dealing with a father that tells you that can't drive or can't get a job, makes me want to smack the heck out of my own father. He's an idiot.

But what do you expect?

For me to make people feel sorry for me? No.

And I want to prove that I'm a fighter but I need for my body to be stronger.

Makes me want to get out Kelly Clarkson's song "Stronger" and just be myself.

And I realize... I'm wonder if I should be treated for depression? But what if... other things come from that? Because I'm tired of hearing of people dying around me. Makes me wonder if I should keep being myself or become more than myself.

Each day goes by and I get too many thoughts in my head... and just today... I realize that I don't want to fade away. I don't want anybody to fade away. And I love each and every one of you as a friend.

That's all.

With love,

BDK

78 of 365: Sleepy Day or Windy Day?

I called for Windy Day!~

Anyways, there are things that I wonder about my life. I'm a big anime fan or close to being an Otaku.

New to the meaning of Otaku? You should look up the meaning but it literally means a fan of anime or obsessed with a hobby a bit too much.

But my hobby for books kind of disappeared for now but I'm sure one day when my mind is cleared, that I will go back to reading a lot of books.

Anyways, I'm getting tired so I shall end this for today.

That is all.

With love,

BDK

PS: Told you that there will be another blog but for today. Hope you enjoy the shortness of it. xD

77 of 365: Yesterday's Blog

Yes, I'm calling it yesterday's blog because due to an Internet outage, I couldn't update. Anyways, really though I didn't had any Internet today but lucky I got it working.

Anyways, yesterday... let's see... I learn that life isn't simple. Yes, that's it. Because you want to enjoy something you love, you got to earn it by working hard and facing obstacles.

So, yes, I enjoy reading, watching anime, etc. But I realize that in order to enjoy what I love, I got to earn it. So guys... don't stay lazy forever.

That's all.

With love,

BDK

PS: I will have 78 of 365 this evening, but if the Net goes out or anything, keep a watch on my page on FB. I'll post it here: https://www.facebook.com/AFaerieJourney in case you all want to like it and keep updated with my blogs. Thank you!

76 of 365: Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I just thought I'll mention that even though the day is almost drawing to a close. I went down London in hopes to be lucky and get my phone. Sold out. Wow... must be a popular brand. Oh, well.

Anyways, I did however bought Sims 3 Pets. But you know... I'm deeply curious about the pricing: The game I bought was priced 19.95. But yesterday, at a different location but same retailer, the price for the game was 39.95. Something wrong with this picture... So it just proves my face that each Walmart is different. Never the same.

Anyways, gonna end this soon because at 8, I got a show.

Oh, by the way... if the weather doesn't stray away from being what I hope it stays at this week... I'll be busy away from the computer.

There is something else I need to mention: I can't do anything such as moving, etc, until after June 6. I have a very important meeting on that day. I will reveal eventually what that is towards that time or if we can get to go because we seem to be having problems gathering info locally. Do you realize how dumb some of the people are here? They need to get on with the modern and out with the old. xD

Well, that's all.

With love,

BDK

75 of 365: Bored, Anime, Life.

Not a good combination.

Seriously... not sure what to put here because I didn't do anything today.

What do you expect on a Saturday for me?

Anyways... I've been wanting a game called Simcity... but I've been hearing about server problems... so what should I do? Get or not?

Oh, well.

I'm gonna go now because I'm getting sleepy now.

That's all.

With love,

BDK

74 of 365: Children Who Chases Lost Voices

Today, I finally got to see what I put as my blog title. It's a beautiful movie and so sad. But I learn about life and death more because of that movie.

I recommend people to watch Children Who Chase Lost Voices. It's a good movie.

Anyways, not much to post here because I really want to go to the comic con tomorrow. Just not sure if I get to go because how cruel the world is.

A very cruel world.

It's like a curse all over again.

That's all.

With love,

BDK

73 of 365: Boys Over Flowers

And as I am close to completing the Korean show Boys over Flowers... I started two weeks ago and getting ready to end in the next 4 to 5 episodes.

Anyways, enough of that because it would make it seem like I am being lazy. ._. Yea.

Anyways, two things come to mind for today: Happy Pi Day and Happy White Day (Japanese male version of Valentine's Day).

Just thought I'll like to mention those two days... but you know... I often wonder when I first began watching this show about why it's called Boys over Flowers...

Well, think about it... most girls would take boys in a heartbeat rather than flowers. But me, I'm a flower girl so give me flowers. ^_^

I really don't have anything else to say because I am going to end this and watch one more episode of Boys over Flowers now.

That is all.

With love,

BDK

72 of 365: Dead Dead Town

Alright, finally, I have found something to talk about. First of all, I want to tell you all where I'm from. It's a small town called Mount Vernon, KY... literally in the foothills of Rockcastle County. Seriously, look that up on CNN one day, guys.

Anyways, that's not the topic I'm gonna get into.

My mom found a post on her facebook page from a friend saying that "Mount Vernon business are closing their stores due to Conservative Values". I may not know the full meaning of that but I do know what closing the stores mean.

This town has a history of raising taxes and putting the money in their pockets. And I guess... that's what it means for conservative values? Please comment me if I'm wrong. Because like I said, I don't know the true meaning behind it.

But if more businesses closed here in Mount Vernon... what is there left to do? I mean, they closed one store 3 years ago, and just recently closed another one a few weeks ago. There's not exactly many local stores left. So what's going to happen? Are we going to end up being a ghost town? While another town that has a college, lots of stores, and many histories thrive?

It's becoming a more reason to leave this town. I mean, seriously... Drugs and losing businesses are very good reason to leave. Yes, this happens everywhere but you just don't know how this town is unless you look behind the pretty things and actually live there.

I've been living here for 26 and soon 27 years. All my life. I'm getting older, and this town is getting duller. I'm not getting any younger and I can't stay lazy all my life. I can't keep hating myself forever. And I sure don't want to hurt myself for the answer. So... it'll be harder to get a job here unless somebody out there steal me away. Friend or anybody.

Whatever. Yea. Whatever. I don't care. I just need an escape. Take me away now.

Just... this is one dead dead town. What's the point of staying in a town that is a bit too late on surviving? Answer me. Comment this page.

And you know who you are if you are still reading this.

That's all.

With love,

BDK

71 of 365: Headache of Hell

And so, I was just sitting here and all of a sudden... I got a headache out of nowhere. It's the type of headache that is caused by sinus pressure. Argh...

Anyways, went outside and tried out my sword for the first time... and it felt awesome. Hand hurts though... but ah, well. I just need to get used to it.

Only problem... they are giving snow again. Great. More bad cold stupid weather. T_T I want this weather to stop being so damn confused on me!

Anyways, I'm trying...

At least.

That's all.

With love,

BDK

70 of 365: Someday, Somewhere

I'll be in Singapore. Maybe.

Anyways, not sure what to say because I am kind of sick and tired of this weather getting confusing on me. Gah. The Easter flowers or daffodils are already blooming now and they are so pretty... *_*

I want a daffodil fairy picture... Anybody got one? Give me one!

Well, I'm surrounded by my dogs right this moment and it seems that they are interested in what my snack is. Doritos. xD

Anyways... Singapore... what do you think? I should live there one day? Maybe... I still want to travel the world so I will do that too.

So what happens now? Well, again if the weather stop being so dang confused, I am going to go job hunting. The problem about jobs around here is the pay is not that much. So... it will suck.

Well... so far... I need to make my dreams come true, right?

That is all.

With love,

BDK

69 of 365: Daylight Savings Bust

I hate having to change the clocks to go an hour ahead or during winter, a hour behind. It is really confusing at this time of season because it seems time will be either faster or slower this time.

Always so confusing.

Anyways, two days of being at home and I only danced one time... but took the dogs out twice a day each day.

And then I remember that I want to escape. xD

Anyways, I think... one day my mom and me will be moving out though.

1. My mom's asthma attacks are not getting any better.
2. I've been getting sicker each time.
3/ It would be a step towards my freedom.

That is all.

Seriously... that is all.

With love,

BDK

68 of 365: I Hate Being Bored.

But then again... I hate weekends that are nice as today and nothing to do. Dang it.

Anyways...

I don't know what else to put here because I'm kind of out of it right now.

And so... I'm going to end this for today...

That is all.

With love,

BDK

67 of 365: Happy International Women's Day!

Actually, I just noticed that it was everywhere on Facebook so I thought... why not?

Anyways, not sure what to put on here since I've been busy trying to find songs to put on my MP3 player. Does anybody have an idea of who or what songs I should put on there?

I will be listening to this songs and some of the songs will be dance songs that I will be learning new dances to starting... SOON! I was told to make videos... But you know... I need a public vote for that.

So... should I make videos of me dancing?

I will be using props too because I am going to study dancing from around the world. ^^

So, a suggestion... what songs should I really look into? I love all kinds of music even traditional ones. Anyways, I gotta end this short because Touch is coming on tonight.

Btw...

I'm inspired by Rai's advice about writing stories. >_>

Should I?

Yes.

I really need to remake The Mountain series... they caught the eyes of many people back then when I first started typing out my stories. I printed one out and nearly got it published but it required $300 up front... One thing I learn... it's best to get an agent or somebody that doesn't always require a payment up front.

I'm curious... if I should restart The Mountain series... should I have a different name for it? I wrote songs/poems for 7 parts of the stories... each a different journey.

All based on one place: A mountain.

So... tell me... where should I begin for a new remake?

Well... time to go now.

That is all.

With love,

BDK

66 of 365: Dreamers Welcome!

I had no idea what I am doing.

Ok, well, here's the thing... I'm addicting to wanting to travel. I really want to go to Asia one day.


So dreamers welcome!

Anyways, not sure what to do... I'm confused with myself.

Wait...

What am I talking about?

I have no clue...




Ah, I'm just kidding guys! xD

I'm alright just I've been looking at ways to travel to Asia.

You never know.

What will happen.

Later on.

That is all.

With love,

BDK

65 of 365: Living out loud!

There's a lot of things that I think is useless about my hometown... another local store closing. That's the end of this town as we know it! Great... more law offices. That's what we need.

I mean come on... I hate this town... but seriously, why do they keep closing all the stores here? Is it because this town is worse than it looks? Yep.

Well, I'm tired of sitting around and doing nothing. Yes, I'm admitting something. But wait...

What does this mean to you?

I don't know.

Keeping this blog is something that I dreamed of doing for years... and you know... I'm going to register on a bunch of volunteer sites just so I can have something to do. Yes. That's it. There's no telling where my journey will take me after saying this.

Hopefully, I can still keep up with this blog on a daily basis. Who knows?

Tomorrow might be a different day.

But... that's up to you.

That's all.

With love,

BDK

64 of 365: Spring Please Come

So, there's a few things that I need to say before I go and end today's blog short.

1. My phone charger for my cell phone decided that it should never work again. ._. Damn phone charger. But then again... what if it's my phone? What if ordering another charger won't help? So many things to think about when you don't know what to do next.

2. My computer is getting hot. I need to clean it out but I can't stand this desk that my mom gotten me... I need a new desk because I can't move the desk just to clean my computer... Damn.

3. My laptop just about to kick the bucket. I could use my mom's but it's cheap made. I mean... come on... What else do you expect?

I don't know. I might be wrong for mentioning these things but I do hope that spring would come soon because I want the weather to be in the 60's and 70's again so that I can walk! And not be sick!

After all... this is my journey. It's slow and a breath taking process.

Who knows what the weather bring? Besides snow tonight...

This weekend... should be better I hope. What do you think?

Well, that is all.

With love,

BDK

63 of 365: Summer Dreaming!

So... me and my mom have been talking about a few things. We have been noticing that since we've been living here since April 2004, we have been getting really sick every winter. Really easy too. We NEVER had this problem before. So...

We are planning to go to Florida this summer.

At least, I hope so.

We all need to get out of here soon. Because another winter is like another hell for us.

I don't know what to do if something happens to my mom. Because she's like the wall. She blocks all the negative stuff and actually does try to encourage me to continue on living.

But I accept the terms... because I had made a promise to her.

I won't be living here in Kentucky if anything happens to her. Actually, I will disappear.

But for now, I am glad she's alive today. There are others out there that don't have mothers and they are trying to survive. Everybody needs a mother advice. Thankful that you had a mother because her lessons is what will bring you to become stronger.

Anyways, because of you, I am stronger.

I'm fighting. Everyday.

So... let's start summer dreaming!

And listen to these songs while you're at it: Miranda Lambert - Mama's Broken Heart and Brandy Clark - Take A Little Pill.

Oh, before I forget... I want to shine the light that people should go on CNN.com and search Rockcastle. We made it there but very few people noticed that.

This is why I want to leave Rockcastle so bad. Sure it's bad everywhere... but it seems to be worse here because... not long a close friend who turned to drugs for relief passed away from a Heroine overdose... This is why I hate drugs.

So... summer dreaming... time to get away, for my heart is beaming, as I get away... Summer dreaming baby, let us hold hands, treat me like a lady, and take over the commands.

That is all.

With love,

BDK

62 of 365: Sick. But Need To Keep Positive

Alright, yes, I need to put something here positive. So the question is... what should I put here?

Well, besides that I am sick again...

I'm not gonna let that bother me.

In fact, I'm not going to let anything bother me. Comment or not. I will show you change. ^_^

And don't say if, when, but, how, etc. I don't know the answers yet so don't bother.

My journey is still clueless at this time. Because I set up a goal long before any of you tried to bring me down. My goal was set this way because I knew that I would have a slow start. Don't like it, go shove it down your own throat before you dare to comment again.

Anyways, I guess I got another goal too. But that's a secret for now. ;)

Well, I'm getting sleepy because of this sickness so I'm not going to bed yet, but I will rest. ^^

So with that...

That is all.

With love,

BDK

61 of 365: Putting my defenses up

Yep... putting my defenses up. Thanks to this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdlEGQk_8TE.

Anyways, not a lot to talk about because I've been bored most of the day today.

But I did sing though.

I love singing a lot. o/

Anyways, that is all though because I'm late at posting this.

With love,

BDK

60 of 365: Need Something...

Always curious... what would happened if I didn't listened to my dad?

Anyways, it's nothing.

Someday I will change my lifestyle. And someday, I will say F--k you that tried to tell me that I couldn't change. Don't... Ever... Say... That... To... Me... I already dealt with people saying that over and over before. And because of those words, that's why I never change. Don't you get it? I can't change because I get depressed about it and then I will never change. So, don't try to bring me down again.

And I hate my body... I am weak as a human because I get sick so very easy... So. Stop. Or rather... don't do it again.

Anyways, it's over. Long past.

And so this month...

Hopefully.

With love,

BDK