Wednesday, May 15, 2013

135 of 365: Alone With No Peace

I feel like I'm alone with no peace every time my family gets into a huge argument. Seriously... I just want to tell them that I don't like it and I am moving out because of them two.

In fact, here's trying to tell your mom that one day that you need to live alone. To make it more true... is my decision. I am going to work soon. Can't tell yet because I want it to be a little secret...

But I am moving out by next year. With my dogs. And without my mom. I can't stand people fussing over things over and over... I doubt I will ever have a boyfriend because you know... I'm tired of hearing people fuss and fuss and fuss... It just bothers me in a way that I want to curl up and hide. Literally. I feel this way every single day.

Some days I enjoy my family but in the end, it always ruins me.

I know some of you may have problems of your own... but my problem is if they make me mad enough, I won't be able to control my anger. I don't want to go back to that.

Ever.

I need support and calmness... but only a few people who can do that... Rai is one of them. And since I chosen to forgive him and let his happiness be important to him... I am glad for that decision. I hope that one day that I move to his country that we will be closer as best friends that we are meant to be. Of course, I won't tell another thing about him... but only he knows. I won't reveal what that is because many people don't need to know.

And besides, we are great friends anyways. We are happy with this. I don't want to lose this over jealously or anything. I'm sure I will get hurt but... I can easily get over it. One day, I'm going to show him off America and he's going to show off his country for me. xD But we are close friends... and best friends for as long as we live. :3

Anyways... I wrote that to help me feel better... sometimes it's better that way rather than bugging him all the time. I will tell him that though...

So nothing personal there. xD

No, we are not going out. No, we are close friends. And yes, I'm happy being alone. xD

With love,

BDK

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