Trying My Best To Save Money...

I am trying to do my best, but saving money is hard when somebody keeps staying hungry all the time... without understanding how to save money themselves... so... yea...

I need things for myself and I need to save this money for that reasoning alone.

But yea... not sure what to do.

Anyway, I shall get back to my journals in hopes that I can get someone to understand why I need to save money.

So yea.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Time Is Passing By Fast

I got a lot on my mind and just realize, that I will be okay.

I should be good to go for what is ahead of my days... And the fact that April is in two days? It's gonna feel like time is passing by fast.

I shall get back to my journals soon after I take a short break to snack. Hoping for the good vibes and we shall see.

Who knows really.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Symptoms of Menopause

I am trying my best to survive the day, but my stomach says otherwise. 

Anyway, I think it's because my period is getting ready to start soon... and I do hope it comes soon because then I wouldn't have be feeling this all the time. But most of this feels like menopause... and I am close to having one of those symptoms most anytime.

Anyway, shall drink water and read lots... and hope to get my journals done in time. 

See ya tomorrow.

B

Be Brave By The Time....

I just hope that I can be brave by the time the surgery date comes up.

Then I want to get through it all.

I am tired, but I should be okay.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Changing Things... Again...

And there you go changing times again... and I just realized that you might not ever come here... not until I go to you... and I really don't want that...

I don't know what to do... I really need to talk to you about that... about my time limit... but... yea...

I just feel like people doesn't understand me.

Anyway, I shall get back to my journals.

See ya tomorrow.

B

I just wish you were here...

So I have to tell my mom about that place over Brodhead now... things are getting real... but it won't feel real until it gets closer to June.

I just wish you were here. That's all I want.

Anyway, I shall get back to my journals... then hope for the best. We shall see what tomorrow will bring. But who knows...

I am not sure anymore.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Is it worth it?

I get distracted too easily, but that's okay. I just hope that tomorrow will be better... like I say this every single day and I'm trying so hard not to lose hope, but is it worth it?

I should be okay for the most part... just need to really work on my time management a lot better.

Anyway, shall get back to my journals and editing videos.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Tired of it

I am just taking my time on my journals and hopefully be alright in the end. I am going make it known to everybody that I am not dealing with any type of shit that's going on.

And yea, I am tired of it. And I am not ready for this.

So I shall get back to my day and ignore it all.

See ya tomorrow.

B

A promise to my mom...

I hate that I made that promise to my own mom. That I cannot move out on my own until she passes away. But I am going to keep that promise as much as possible.

And the worst part, she refuses to leave from here, despite the way my dad is.

It's just hard right now.

And I would love to get out of here and be safe... be in a better environment. But it is what it is. 

Anyway, I shall get back to my journals and get them done soon.

See ya tomorrow.

B

No Promises

I just noticed that being behind is not good for my mind because of stress.

So yea.

I just hope that tomorrow will get better, but who knows.

Anyway, I shall get ready to finish my journals and hopefully read a few chapters... but no promises.

Shall get back to it. 

See ya tomorrow.

B

Behind On Books

I just noticed how I feel on days that I don't do anything at all. So it sucks a lot. And yea... I should be okay for the time being.

I am going to be busy tomorrow and so forth. Who knows what else is on my mind. 

I am trying to get through the books since I am behind on the library books... it sucks because it's rare for me to be this far behind on books... so yea.

I shall get my journals done in hopes to read before I get on my headset... I have a weird schedule, but I enjoy this schedule just a bit.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Survive and Hope

I am just trying to survive and hope all is well.

Tomorrow is gonna be a nice relaxing day... while I have to plan out what I need to do for the next few months.

I just want to take a moment in silence my wife's grandfather... he passed away 8 years ago. So yea.

Anyway, I shall get back to my journals and hope that I will be alright.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Not A Thought In My Head...

Sometimes there's not a thought in my head that I feel like the world is crashing down on me and there's no way for me to stand back up without no worries on my mind.

I hope that tomorrow will be better. Also, hip pain sucks a lot.

Alright, shall get back to my journals and hopefully be able to read tonight.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Get Everything Prepared

I didn't get the call today, but that's okay. I got until the end of the week to find out.

I do hope that will be okay... and I hope everything will be okay.

I do have a lot of stuff on my mind and wish to get everything prepared for the surgery.

And I do wish to not be bothered at all.

No drama. No trauma dumping. Nothing. 

See ya tomorrow.

B

Surgery Set For June

I got a lot to say so please bare with me as this is gonna be an one long run on paragraph. So good luck reading and wish me luck when my surgery comes up.

So because the surgery isn't an emergency, I am able to schedule it in June. Mainly due to having to get everything prepared and stuff.

I got a lot of phone calls to make because well, I have two doctors that needs to let this surgeon know what I should do and should do not do.

I also have to be ready mentally as well.

And I really hope that she will be here with me when that happens. I don't want the recovery be with just my parents.

Anyway, I should be okay for the most part. But I will be sure to let y'all know once I get the date in June. 

Until then...

I am ready.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Dread Something That Is In The Unknown

Tomorrow, I will be going to that appointment to find out when I will be getting the surgery.

Am I nervous? Yes.

I am not sure about anybody else. As I haven't heard anything.

And I just hope they will be able to tell me when so I don't have to wait or dread something that is in the unknown.

So yea.

See ya tomorrow.

B

I Am Behind

I am behind... like really behind... but you know, it's like karma just wanted that to happened because of VRC. So yea... I think I will be okay with it.

Just a lot of stuff going on and I really want to be able to be all caught up.

Let's hope for the best and get all my journals done... and rest... so I may not be doing any videos tonight because of how VRChat is doing.

So yea.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Hope For Good Vibes

As the day gets closer to when I go to Lexington to see the hip surgeon. The more nervous I'll get. I just only want my partner to be closer to me so that I wouldn't feel this way a lot.

It is what it is... but I am beginning to hate that phrase when I first learned it from Midwesterns... so yea...

I am going to try my best to get through the day... in hopes to have a better day tomorrow.

And I feel like I am always behind on things. So yea. 

So let's hope for good vibes.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Trying To Relax

I'm just trying to relax, but hard to do when people always want me to do something. I am not okay with anything, but it is what it is.

Anyway, I am about to get my journals done and then I will relax.

Hopefully all will be better soon.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Dentist Appointment Done

I got my dentist appointment done, now that is done, I am resting a lot.

I doubt I'll get any rest, but I will try no matter what.

I hate the pain in my hip. So yea. I am due for surgery sometime either this year or the year after. 

Anyway, I shall get back to doing my journals and hope that tomorrow will get better... and that I get my rest fully tomorrow as well. 

See ya tomorrow.

B

Physical Pain Sucks

The thing that hurts me the most is my own physical pain and it sucks a lot.

I should be fine for now.

But yea, who knows what else is on my mind?

Anyway, I shall get back to my daily journals. 

And hope all will be better for me.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Dead Tired

I am tired.

Here's why: My mom wanted to take my aunt shopping in hopes to make her satisfied and maybe find shoes for my picky cousin. 

What we got: 2 hours in one store and both me and my mom's hips almost gave out. An undescivce person. 

Me: 2 journals, alcohol markers, several shirts, two shoes, 3 books. 

Also me: Dead tired.

So I am going to relax tonight after I get finished with my journals. 

See ya tomorrow.

B

Being Distracted and Busy

 I sometimes think that I get distracted too easily, but it's okay. I'll be fine.

I just have been having a lot of bad days lately and it's to be expected since I got back into my reading habit, but I couldn't do it today because of what all we had to do... and it will be the same thing tomorrow if my mom chooses to do that tomorrow.

I only got so many days of a break in between after Thursday. So that's fun.

Anyway, I shall get back to my day and hope that all will be well.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Learn To Wait

Sometimes I want to tell people that I just want Sundays off from uploads, but nobody really listens to me, do they?

That's why I am purposefully just taking my time on my journals. Because I really don't want to be that stressful over certain things.

So yea. 

I just think that people gets in their head that I shouldn't have a day off.

So... bleh. That's what you get for saying that I need to do this and that. You can learn to wait.

That's that.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Relaxing

 I have been trying so hard not to read too much but it can't be helped as I loved it so much.

And now that I am trying to finish this book as well... so yea, it is to be expected.

Anyway, I am going to get through the rest of the evening with the sounds of rain on a metal roof... it's so relaxing.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Reading Helps My Mood

So I've decided to get out of my mood by reading and it has helped a lot. I am glad for this part... so yea.

But things are not as they seem... and welp, I'm happy for now.

I shall get back to my journals and well.... read...

See ya tomorrow.

B

Behind Again...

I got nothing better to do but to do my journals and it sucks that I am behind on them... because somebody won't let me just do my journals... fuck...

I hate being behind on stuff... so yea...

Anyway.... shall get back to doing them... so yay.

See ya tomorrow.

B

I'm done with people

 I hate how people attacks you for stating to be respectful. Saying it's disrespectful and hateful. Is there any hate in the status? No. I think you need to take a step back and take a chill pill.

I am done with people and how they feel they should have an issue on stuff.

Get over yourself.

And yea... I'm done with people.

Anyway, I really don't want to be bother by people right now.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Darkness

Just love that I cough like this after getting better.

I am always wondering if I could favor a new personality. But who knew what else is going on my mind.

Darkness. I am darkness. We are darkness.

Yea... Anyway, I shall get back to my daily journals. Then hope all will be better.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Mondays and Coughs

Just another day of doing nothing but who knows what else is on my mind. 

I hate Mondays... and I hate this cough of hell.

I mean, I am not 100% better, but getting there.

Alright, shall get back to my day.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Nobody Know How That Makes Me Feel?

I hate being sick. I hate that my parents feel like they should go out all the time... and not let me stay at home.

Does nobody know how that makes me feel?

I guess not.

Anyway, I am going to be okay... just have to get a few things done and rest for the most of the night.

See ya tomorrow.

B