I'm Content

 I realized how hard this might be with the blog for the new year. Because one of my goals is to have my hip fixed.

For those that don't know... I was born with a dislocated hip. Just a few years ago, I had a sprain like injury which is a labral hip tear. Not fun to have when it's the most painful thing to deal with.

Last year, I realized that the shots I was taking was literally eating away at my hip joint and bone... I already had hip dysplasia. So yea....

This year, I have made plans that if surgery was an option, I will take it. Besides I don't want to end up with what happened to my brother. He broke his hip and had to get hip replacement surgery as a result.

I rather plan it out in advance so that I know what to do and what not to do. The option of going to rehab is there. And I believe it would help me faster than doing it at home full of cats that loves to knock things down... 

But before I can do such a thing, I have to hide a few things in my room because I know my parents won't be watching those cats like they should.... they think yelling helps... it doesn't. Cats don't listen and they do it anyway... you literally have to get up and gently push them away as a way of showing... hey... don't do this.

Yea, it's a really huge debate on what to do. I know that if I choose to go home, something bad is bond to happen... it always does.

I need a better place to live. I can't keep living in a trailer park all my life.

I know that I have to be a caregiver for my mom... and maybe my dad. But what hurts the most is will they ever make me happy? Because I do want to be able to hire help as well for days that I just need a break.

And well... yea...

Also, I'm engaged again. I'm happy for that. I just wish I could be in better mood. It is what it is.

I shall get back through the day. Since I got a long day ahead... recording everyday when possible... stream when possible which is returning next week but in a off and on type of schedule. 

I'm gonna be doing 365 days of videos... on TikTok and YouTube... oh... yea... I need to add that on YouTube too.

I got a lot of stuff planned. Will I burn out? Maybe. Will I enjoy it? Yes. I have somebody to help me push my way through it.

So... yea... a lot. Hopefully, I can have loads of videos ready by the end of the year so I wouldn't have to feel like I am burning myself out.

Either way... I'm content. So let's go a new year, a new beginning, a new me(?). 

See ya tomorrow.

B