A realization

I think there are people who can control their mental status. But there are people that can't. Those people are the ones that need help.

I have to admit is that I have been depressed too long. But I don't believe in suicide or mass murders. It's crazy. But I have to also admit that I have seen people who have uncontrollable anger and uncontrollable violence.

And so I am going to virtual talk about a world that I've been living. Whether you call me crazy, you're welcome to tell me. Because I am me.

My mother always say that I was special. I had a very active imagination. And I still do.

Every once in a while, I sit somewhere quiet, where nobody finds me. And guess what I do? I talk about my imaginations. My stories. Out loud. My mom always told me that as long you don't reply to yourself, you're not crazy.

So I never reply back to myself.

Yet, I felt I lived in another world. In another life. Yet, I felt like I belong to a different place in time and space.

I believe in ghosts, faeries, and magic. I respect all religions because there's just something about them that brings peace to my mind and heart.

Yet, there's another thing. I never let myself go as far as letting another me get out. But yet, in my mind, I have heard and seen and felt this personality. As it comes to my mind, something made me realize that I am not always myself. I had kept this a secret from everybody. And you know, this blog might reach millions of people who will say that I need help.

But in all my 26 years, I survived perfectly. I have two protectors and hopefully not anymore than that. But I feel I have more. These protectors have names but I will not tell you who they are because of my sanity's sake.

I learned that if you can control the anger, the hate, the fear, the nerves, the worry, the doubts... well, basically all of the negative, you can be you. But my escape in order to control these negatives were books and writing stories out.

Upon writing this blog, I realize many things. My eyes have opened to the sight that many were afraid.

We need help. We all do. Even I do need help at one point in my life. I always fear that my slipped anger, my slipped hatred would lose control and I wouldn't be able to hold myself back. While I am here, I am able to tell you that we all need to wake up.

After the years of living with my mom and her ex boyfriend, many things disturbed my mind. My hatred towards him grew. My anger grew. I feared myself.

I really thought that my anger would disappeared after he left August 2011, but sadly, it didn't. Each time I slipped and be angry at my mom, I stopped myself soon after I snap off at her. Then I realize that I am sorry. I shouldn't do this. I don't think people understands many things.

As I was growing up, I saw violence and mental health problems, I realize that I wasn't the only one who tries to have a secret identity.

In the wake of the recent shootings, something inside of me woke up. It made me realize that although we have problems with our daily lives everyday, people really should look more into what mental health is truly all about.

While I am slowly healing myself from the slipped anger issues, I still wonder about who I am truly. Why I feel like I should be somewhere else? Why do I want to move out? Well, here's the thing... when I'm away from home, I feel better. I'm more myself.

So, I told myself for the new year, that in order to heal myself, I should leave this place. The place with memories, hurt, and anger. So much negative, bringing me down. It's time to avoid all the negative as much as possible and try to heal myself. But also, in realization... I'm glad I'm not the only one.

And so I really want to dedicate my healing process to my love, Rai-Chan. Though I can control myself more. I am able to understand, I can finally heal.

But also... I realize that... We do need to stand up and bring out the world's attention to Mental Health. Not everybody can control their mental status like I can.

One thing I did learn about myself: I can't be afraid anymore.

BDK

Ah...

I'm hurting again.

What is going on?

It scares the crap out of me.

Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.

Run.

BDK

Another world, another dream

Alright, I'm in that world again. I am with Rue. Rue protects my dear from his emotions, etc. While Ysabel protects me. But why am I with Rue? I was sent to see Rue about a mission. He and Ysabel both know that the portal must be closed soon. I'm sure my darling Rai-Chan knows this also.

So far I've been lucky though. No fighting or whatsoever. But my darling Rai is right about Rue. This place makes him awesome. So far I do not know the source of why the portal is opened but I do know that I was called there to make sure everything goes well. I've been kidnapped and chased by the faceless ones. But I still feel like something more is going on.

Anyways, Rue told me that he must go on a mission. I'm sure my love knows what this mission is. But I'm at a safe house taken in by other gybbs. It seems pass by slowly there but I didn't had much of a choice but to leave early. :3 Sorry, Rue. Hope you are safe wherever you go there.

Also, the journey to some of the places seems to take weeks to months to get there. I know the place I am at now (Rai-Chan called it the Land of the Fallen) took me months to get there. Also, I'm armed with a dagger and sword both. o_o I was told to be careful the next time I go back.

That is all.

BDK

It has been a while!

And so I'm gonna do a random rant. Since my darling told me about the portal has been opened, we've been in another world each time we go to sleep. It could be years or months but time doesn't really go fast there. Anyways, I was told by my dear to be careful about posting this world on FB and so I got the idea... why not post it here?

Anyways, the portal is closing soon. And I think they will be busy. I can tell because of the faceless one. I have to be careful if I go to sleep. Anyways, I will be fine.

That is all!

And I know when the portal will close. I'm different because my psychic self. Anyways, enough of my random rant. Dunno... this might inspire me to write some more stories. Dreams always do.

BDK

Ghostbusters!

http://soundcloud.com/alastabdk/me-singing-ghostbusters-xd

I think I'm going to do this more often... xDDDDD But... with different songs.

Calling All Graphic Designers!

I want a design purposefully for my Facebook like page. Also, if anybody knows how to design a website... please and thank you. :)

Updates!

Alright, I've decided to just go ahead and make a like page on FB. Also, I have a group that is for members only. But you're welcome to ask for permission to join there. Also, I am posting more ways you can contact me. Haha. I will answer anything that you throw at me!

Like my page!: https://www.facebook.com/AFaerieJourney?skip_nax_wizard=true
Join my group!: https://www.facebook.com/groups/176591255740985/


Twitter!: @alastabdk

Alright, if I update anymore things, I'll you all guys know!

After all, this is my faerie journey. :D

BDK