Regret The Pain

I know that tonight I will regret everything. So... here we go.

Also, I need to try to catch up with my videos a bit... but because how things have been... I am just not okay.

Oh, well.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Tired

I have to say that today was very interesting to deal with.

I should be okay.

I am tired.

So yay me...

Today we went to the doctor for medicine refill and should be okay for the most part.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Should Be Okay, but Will I?

I have to say that I am getting used to feeling tired now and that's not too good.

I hope that all will get better as time goes on.

Tomorrow should be okay for the most part since I do have to go to my doctor for medicine refill and maybe ask my doctor for a note about my medical thing for me to get my SNAP benefits back.

As most of y'all don't know, I have been struggling a lot with trying to find a job and well, to no surprise... nothing is out there.

I should be okay... but will I though?

That's something I have to think about in another lifetime.

See ya tomorrow.

B

not sure anymore

I find it unfair that you get to do things and I don't... because what's the point of  a date night in the first place if it's just you?

I'm not sure if people really cares about me anymore.

So I just stay to myself and just be by myself.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Nothing Helps

I don't know what to do anymore... I feel tired... I want to get away from here... but nothing helps.

I should be okay for the most part.

See ya tomorrow.

B

I'm constantly tired...

I keep feeling like I should be asleep more often. I do not know why I am constantly tired. Ever since the surgery, I have been like this more and more...

Maybe it's still healing, maybe it's just me...

I just wished I knew what is causing it.

Anyway, I should be okay... for the most part.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Kingdom Hearts~

I freaked out last night.

Kingdom Hearts 4's first world is Coco! Which I predicted because it associates with the land of the dead and remembrance. And so forth.

Also, Kingdom Hearts is getting an anime series!!!!!! Guess who's gonna be watching that~

Alright, shall get back to my day in hopes that all will get better.... and be ready for Kingdom Hearts panel tonight... so yay me~

See ya tomorrow.

B

Tired...

I really wished my mom stopped trying to denial why she says in the first place. A bit example: I am talking about how my pens I am using are only for penpals... she literally blurted out "Oh, you quit writing to them." No... I am taking a break. There's a big difference.

Anyway, I am tired of this... and I really need a break from them. I love her... but this is getting to the point that she keeps trying to gaslight me.

Anyway, I should be fine... just a little longer.

See ya tomorrow.

B

I need a break...

I feel like hell keeps burning a hole into my heart with my relationship with my parents...

Everyday, it's always something... and it's always hurting.

I need a break from my own parents...

Yea...

See ya tomorrow.

B

I'm coming to you...

I'm trying my best to not cause anymore trauma to myself and to her. I just hope that all will get better and better... but there's a limit on all my emotions... and I feel like she's gonna forget to do anything... so yea.

I'm done waiting.

I'm coming to you soon.

For your birthday... in October even though it's in November.

I'm sorry, mom... but I can't wait anymore.

See ya tomorrow.

B

I'm not sure anymore...

First it was June, then August, then September... now I'm not even sure anymore.

I do need to talk to you about this because I feel like deep down... you're not wanting anything to happen...

What if September comes, you'll change your mind again? What then?

Anyway... I just need to talk to you about this...

See ya tomorrow.

B

Wish I was free...

 Sometimes I just wished that I could get my own home so that I can get my own freedom... a way to not keep dealing with an impatient person.

Anyway, I am sleepy... and I am in pain still...

I hope that all will be better tomorrow... but I do need to sleep more...

See ya tomorrow.

B

Pain today

I almost didn't made it today. My hip got to hurting as I walked more and more. I need to get used to this more and more.

Hopefully one of these days, I will get used to this pain to the point that I don't have to deal with the pain.

Anyway, I gotta say... I finally broke down and bought a mattress topper for my bed... since the old one was so worn out that it was causing my bed to dip in the middle.

I do need to invest in getting a new bed... so yea.

Don't keep your hopes up high because life isn't what it seems.

Anyway, I shall get back to my journals since I am really behind on them.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Good Vibes For Tomorrow

I will expect pain here and there, and I just realized that I need to keep resting... and I may need to buy a new mattress pad for my bed. That sucks a lot, but it does need to be done.

Anyway, I am gonna be okay for the most part, but yea... let's hope for good vibes tomorrow.

As I will get things done and yea...

Anyway, see ya tomorrow.

B

I'll be fine.

 I hate when I don't eat lunch because then I have a small dinner which leads to eating snacks a lot. Oh, well.

I'll be fine.

Anyway, I am going to get through the rest of the day by reading and hoping for good vibes.

Tomorrow will be different and I just hope that my pain at night isn't as bad it should be.

As long as I keep active, I should be fine.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Hope All Will Get Better

I am trying my best to survive the day... and well, I am tired.

Even though yesterday brought me good news.

Hope all will get better eventually.

Let's get this done.

See ya tomorrow.

B

I'm Tired...

 Sometimes I wonder about why my mom is the way she is. She needs to understand it's my body, my choice, my life. Not hers.

I worry that she'll try to do the same for her as well...

And yea, I need to step up and tell her that she needs to stop. And let us learn on our own.

It's not her choice to make decisions for us.

So yea...

Anyway, tomorrow, I will be behind on everything, but that's okay.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Things Are Not What They Seem

 I really want to keep writing songs and poems and whatever is in my heart, but things are not as they seem.

Pretty soon, I am going to be doing my checkup on my hip and I am hoping for good news.

Just have to wait and see.

So you see... I should be fine.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Pain

 Sometimes I never get why people gets ideas in their head without thinking of the law. 

And in reality, I don't know what to say anymore.

And well... I'm not okay with anything.

And yea... should I be done with everything?

See ya tomorrow.

B

PS: I am back fully on this blog. So yea. Also, pain.