The questions...

What would I do? I really want to take this chance. I just feel confused. Not sad or bad or mad... and being confused actually does make me sad so... yea...

Should I do it? I don't know. I'll listen to my heart more than my mind but... my mind is my enemy because of my life.

My mind is weak.

There's so many things that I need and wish for you know. I just don't know how I can tell you. I really love you, my dear. I really want to be there right now with you. But I am also afraid.

So... here's the deal, my dear... Come here first... try to at least. I trust you but my mind is my enemy. So I must get to know you more.

As for my mom... she doesn't trust a lot of people... so it will be very hard for me to go anywhere... I must tell you more about them...

My mom doesn't even want me to marry or have children. She doesn't understand how much I really want these two things. I want my life to be mine, not hers. I am better than that. I know what I want and I know what is right.

But my dad... he's the main problem in my family. He doesn't want me to have a boyfriend. He goes into craze mode if he even knows about you. But I... will introduce you to my dad anyways. Show my dad that I'm not his little girl anymore. He will always be my dad and I will be his baby, but he can't keep me away for a long time.

So... yes... so many things that I need to tell you, my dear. So... one day... I will write them all down. Even tell you for real. I want my life to be my life. Not theirs.

I am changing my life. So... please take your time getting here and I will go with you anywhere, my dear. I love you so very much.

That's all for now. For the rest of the questions... my dreams and nightmares will answer.

BDK