A letter to whoever needs to hear it

 Dear whoever you are,

Maybe it's not something you want to hear, but I do forgive you. I'm not asking you to forgive me. You never heard my end of the story. You rather believed what you wanted to believe. And I knew in my heart, it was best to break my promise of never leaving you, but to leave you. It was hurting me. And I knew it was making you lose hope in me more and more. So in the end, it felt mutual for this decision. I hope it comes with a lesson to learn to have a conversation with your next partner before you assume anything. While I know my part, but one part I vowed to never do and that was contact people behind your back. Yet, you believed what you wanted to believe. I forgive you for that. Just know you did betray me. And you lost your trust in me. It was for the best.

Whatever happens for the future, the good and bad, understand I am a strong believer in karma. I will not hurt you no more. It's not me. I won't go after you.

To whoever that friend that told lies, I lost my trust in you. I have set boundaries on every friend that I've made now, because of those lies.

While I admit, I did wrong on tracking your location. But you did made your bed. I discovered things by accident and I won't share them, even if someone begs for them.

You may do as you please. You have your freedom now. Just as I have my own freedom.

Just know, not everybody might always gift you presents like I did. You have to accept that fate. And the reality. No matter how harsh it seems.

So whoever you are, learn to love yourself.

Sincerely,

- B

Getting Back To Normal Slowly

So lsst night, I went back to streaming on tiktok. I think it's a topic that I would like to discuss... Tiktok has been a good place for me. I hate to see it go away, but it is what is. And we can't help what our government tries to do.

Things haven't been the same. But I don't really care anymore.

Being a 38 year old woman, things can be weird. And for my case, I am used to it.

I guess I am basically saying that I am getting back to normal slowly, but not all at once.

I will continue to go forth with my journey and hope for good things to come.

- B

Not Ready To Explain Anything

It might take days to weeks before I can talk about what really happened between the two of us. All I can say for now is it was a betrayal for me and a lost of trust for him.

That's all I can say. I do not want to go into anymore detail than this until I am sure I am ready. I am still hurting and healing and confused all at the same time.

I did it not only for me, but for him as well.

It's just my way of showing him trust.

However anybody wishes to see it.

I do not need to discuss it any further at this moment.

So until I am ready to explain what really happened, I want to concentrate on things I enjoy.

Mainly books and Vrchat. Vrchat has worlds that reminds me of the scenes in the fantasy books... so that is why I go there.

Anyway, I will continue to heal. So until then, I love you all.

- B

Heartbreak and Healing

I'm not quite ready to tell my story.

But I do want to say that I broke up with my ex fiance. It's never easy.

And I want to be respectful for him. I want people to be respectful to him as well.

It'll take awhile to heal from it all.

Just one day at a time, you know?

I'll keep posting on here every single day as it's part of my own challenge and my healing process.

Heartbreak and Healing.

- B

Just a thought.

 You ever get the feeling that somebody is trying to make you the bad person? Yea... How many people knows that I am a nice and caring person? But yet, people tries to say that I am a bad person. Don't let people take your kindness and shove it.

... 2

Don't blame me if something happens.

Don't ask.

Don't find me.

...

 It's a short post tonight.

But... a short message instead.

Expect the unexpected.

-B