Trying To Survive

Past memories pop up. Sometimes I rather not talk about them, because I suffer a lot of pain all my life.

I have never been the same since my grandpa passed in 2002. I've seen people suffer too much. The worst was my grandma. Cancer sucks. I really wish there was a way to get rid of it so we don't have to deal with the pain of it.

The worst of all is dealing with my mom's ex. He's done a lot of bad stuff towards me... it can have a lasting affect to your mental health.

And yet, I had tried so many times to tell my mom, my concerns if he ever comes back here.

Today, our door was opened. We were gone. Nothing is stolen, thankfully. But it's not the first time.

I often wonder if something is telling us to get out of this place. Who knows.

Anyway, I just hope things will get better for me, mentally.

- B

Hello 2025

 Here's to trying my best to blog every single day for 365 days.

I hate to make it something bad, but a memory is import to some.

Life isn't always what it seems. Life is short. Life isn't something you take advantage of.

My fiance had a bad day and I gave him a day to be with himself. Sometimes, you need it after losing a love one. It takes time to heal, but sometimes, you can't help, but to remember things.

I can't forget when my grandparents passed away. So I know how it feels. And how it feels when you feel like you haven't spent enough time to be with someone.

He's okay. I'm okay.

But life does happen. The good. The sad. We just have to be there for each other.

I sometimes just want to get on a bus or a plane and be there to sit beside him in silence to show him that I will be there for him.

And here I am, not feeling well. Sitting here, watching a documentary about Avicii that came out recently. I hate to relate to those who don't wish to be related, but I do. Sometimes, in life, you do lose your sense of self.

But either way, I will be okay. Just something to think about for making yourself a better person mentally.

I shall end for now and give myself a bit of a break.

- B

Final Post For 2024

 Normally, I would have resolutions listed a week before the new year, but today, I have decided to keep most of it a secret.

Oh, but why?

Again, it's a secret.

I realized that year by year, most of my resolutions never really worked out.

I've known Jack for a year now. And our relationship will be a year in January.

And a few things I've noticed about myself is I really need to stop pressuring people.

And well, who knows. This year is not meant to be predicted, but here's to good vibes for the upcoming year.

By tomorrow, I will start posting every single day.

So... goodbye 2024.

It sure has been an interesting year.

See you all tomorrow.

B.

Challenging Myself for 2025

 Wow, the last time I post was in June? I forgot. But seriously... I am gonna make it a mission to be more active next year for my 2025 challenge. Each year, I pick out different challenges to do. This year, one of those challenges (randomly) was blog.

And I thought, why not?

I haven't challenged myself in a long time. And maybe it's time to just use my blog to talk about what's on my mind and such. Being only a month into being engaged and almost a year in this relationship. It's gonna be something to talk about... Amongst other things.

I doubt I would have readers. But I am doing this solely as pure enjoyment or just to pass the time. Will I be committed every single day to have a long post? Nah. Life does happen. There will be bad days. There will be days I will be like meh. So expect anything.

I will make time each night and just type whatever is on my mind. Good, bad, ugly, pretty, interesting, lazy, memories. Anything.

Now I won't fully start this until the first day of 2025. And I won't be putting day whatever, unless I feel like it.

Just... like I said, pure enjoyment or something to do.

Let's see how far I can go without giving up.

Until then, happy reading and see you all on the first day of 2025. And have a wonderful holiday season (despite being in a bad mood and having a reason behind that).

Until then, see y'all then.

Until then.

I Got Approved For Faerie Wings

I had to think on what to write. I got this list of blog ideas sitting on another tab of my computer and it came up with portfolios. Now, let me get this straight to you. I'm not good at making a portfolio as I only write poems and stories.

But I can, however, share one thing.

I got approved for a per-order on Kindle for my first book of poems.

Here's the lovely link: Faerie Wings

I've been working on this for a long time. And I am getting a second one worked on. It might take a year or even longer to get it done.

In the meantime, I'm gonna be working on a few stories or one of them to finish it finally.

When you look up to someone, you realize that you need to change your life for the better.

You only live once. Enjoy it. Find your passion. Dream it. Take it.

Anyway, I do share most of my stories for free at first, then I delete them off the site. Since the site is weird and slow at getting readers. So yea... I'll be self publishing for now.

However, when the print gets approved. I will let you all know ahead of time. I will be getting a few copies to giveaway on some sites. To get my name out there.

I might make a recording on YouTube to promote it as well.

I know it will be hard at first, but I'm getting somewhere.

Wish me luck.

Until then...

Enjoy every step you make in this journey. You never know what you might happen next.

I forgot that this blog exist...

So it's that time where I forgot that my blog exist...

My bad.

My hometown has been very eventful since you last heard from me.

From a building burning down, to two murders in a roll and finding a person unconscious close by us in the trailer park.

I rather live somewhere quiet now.

Other than that, I am doing well. Just trying not to get sick again. Kind of hard when you have been coughing off and on non-stop for the past month or so.

We are trying something new. But we shall try.

I have been behind on books and lost interest in winning free books. That's because I have other plans for my life.

That is if my family stop asking me to buy something for them.

Anyway, I am just tired of this town. I'm tired of this home. I'm just tired of the lies my parents keep telling me.

Being an adult is hard enough as it.

Yea... it's time for a change.

So that's all I'm gonna say for now. I hope you are all doing well. I know this blog doesn't reach a lot of people like it used to. But it's my safe space for now.

See ya another time. Who knows when that will be.

A Review of The Last Bloodcarver by Vanessa Le: A Book That Can Make You Want More

Title: The Last Bloodcarver
Author: Vanessa Le

Rating: 5 Stars

Review: This book was so good. It was at a perfect pace that built up the characters within the book. Nhika thought for a long time that she was the last bloodcarver, despite the name has another name.

She gets bought into a family that has a lot of secrets and a doctor that seems to have even bigger secret behind him.

The book is a mix of sci fi, fantasy and romance. Which is a perfect combination for such a good book.

You can tell there was parts that was inspired from Asian folklore which is a plus for the type of book this is.

The characters are perfect and they are well made to make a reader wants to know more about them.

The pace of the book is perfect for how it precedes to the ending.

I don't want to reveal the ending but I can tell you there are parts in the book that can shock you. So it has a perfect sense of twists and secrets.

Overall, this is a perfect book to received 5 stars. Good story, good build up on characters, good plot. Highly recommended.