Friday, January 13, 2017

Faking Happiness

There's a huge topic that's going around that's becoming the main topic of the beginning of 2017, this year.

I dealt with faking happiness all too well for way longer than Pewdiepie has xD He's the one that started it and so... well... faking happiness is not really healthy.

I have been dealing with stress and stuff for a long time now. Since I was 16, my life has been an up and down battle full of emotions. I pretended to be happy a lot of times. I fell in love but mostly to only fall out of love. One person told me to not break his heart and that's what I tried... for 6 years. 2010, I felt that was the worst year of my life. I needed out but at the same time, something happened to him as well... and he begged me to come see him but I couldn't. Things were happening here to me that I just couldn't find a way to escape.

Even to this day, I regretted not leaving him earlier because I was faking happiness and I wasn't happy. I should've left him not long after my aunt's passing. It's just... sometimes when things happens, you can easily fallen out of things.

I really hope it doesn't happen again. My happiness is my best friend right now. I want it to stay that way for a long time as I could.

I try to find reasons of why I am sad if something is bothering me. I talk to my best friend for that problem and he helps me out. So you can see that he is my happiness.

I'm not going to fake happiness anymore. That's the point. I have to just be honest if I feel bad... even if it means hiding and such xD

I'm always weird and I never liked to be called normal. One such person said that I was normal and I shouldn't be down on myself... but please... how is calling yourself not normal being down on yourself? I like to be not normal and I like being weird. I like who I am. A person whose imagination can go far and wide. A person who loves weird and strange things. A person who finds nature being beautiful.

Don't let people tell who you should be. Only you should tell yourself who you should be. You are going to find some type of happiness in someway.

Don't fake anything. Don't try to be someone that you don't want. Don't force yourself to like things. Just... be you.

That's all.

With love,

BDK

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