Now I Can Snooze For The Night...

I'm getting better at not leaving a whole lot of messages to my bestie... Though... he might already be getting a whole lot because I think it finally kicked in about not feeling awesome... so yea... I can't wait for him to be back and tell him everything and hope he tells me everything too. We got each other backs as the best friends we are.

So now I can snooze for the night.

Also, sorry for all the weirdness lately. I just have not feeling too great. Still don't and I really just hate it. It seems like that I am not the only one so yay me.

I'll feel a little better when my bestie comes on but... he doesn't know how I really feel. Not towards him. I kind of just like him as a friend, nothing more. But... I never tell him that I feel like I should hate myself and stuff. I just don't want people to take pity. I want people however... take notice and realize the truth behind things. It's hard to get people to listen because they think they should take pity and hurt you or heal you. I just want people to noticed that this is my life. Don't tell me any other thing.

And for some odd reason... while my bestie has charm level high, I seem to have attraction or something level high. Can't really say.

Eventually, I'll stop talking to guys. And eventually, I'll turn away those who do care about me. I'll regret that day when it comes because I am afraid for it.

Never take pity of me. But do take notice of me.  There's a strong difference in the two. Taking pity means that you felt like you should help. While taking notice means, that you feel like you want help but you don't have to since I'm not begging you to help me.

I have no friends in the small town. They never bother to ask me to go out and hang. I guess... they think that I could drive or something when in reality... I can't drive.

So... snoozing time for the night.

That's all.

With love,

BDK