It's Still A Dark Future...

Sometimes I'm scared to know what the future brings but my dreams had been so far dark...

Why dark? I do not know myself.

Also, bad news for my phone... I cannot open any heavy apps and I must keep it charged above 50% or else... it shuts down. So, I'm on save mode with my phone right now.

Hopefully, I can find a good phone at a good price later.

Oh, well.

Anyways, lots of things happened and today I haven't heard from my grandma... because of someone. Geez... some family I have.

For now... that's all.

With love,

BDK

Fixing Phone Problems to Fixing Up a Fund Site to An Almost Bad Day.

So... today has been a weird and strange day for me.

Firstly, my phone was having a shutting off problem so I had to fix that problem by reformatting my phone. As for how long that will last, I do not know. And I learn that some apps that I did had... are no longer capable for my phone... well... after 2 years and 2 months... I think my phone will finally eventually say goodbye to me. *cries*

Secondly, I had to come up with a gofundme site for my dog, Susie's eyes. Starting in August, we'll be having a hard time to earn extra cash for her. While I'm still trying to find a job, I'm in trouble with having to come up just enough money for my dog. Sharing the site here: http://www.gofundme.com/vuacfc. No, this is not begging but just asking because I do need to keep those drops and ointment in her eyes constantly.

Thirdly, I almost got sick while I was outside. Once I stepped inside my home, I was at the bathroom. So yea... I tend to get sick a little easy if I'm not careful with how I eat and more.

Lastly? Well, I'm gonna take a break and hope that I won't have anymore problems... Really... I know that I'll be busy on Monday and on Wednesday but... seriously tho... I need a tiny break eventually.

For now that's all.

With love,

BDK

A Break... But Not For Long.

I took a break today but not for long... because I will be heading on another game later.

Right now, I'm just wanting to catch up with a few things.

Seems like there's not that many shows going off on Netflix so that gives me more chance to watch other videos.

For now... that's all.

With love,

BDK

Finding Faeries

So, Echo of Soul open beta finally came out today... and I'm level 16!

Well, I would've went on to level 20 but wanted to spread out the days of the games.

Like one day, all day movies or anime. Another day, all day games.

I wanna spread out my time so that I can have more a break to earn money and stuff.

Also, any ideas of what to about my YouTube channel?

Well... I kind of wanna... add my game plays on there sometimes... And more vlogs.

I need to do a catch up vlog or... rather... do an update vlog to tell you all the latest news xD

I really need to do a lot of things... but time is just going by too fast.

For now that's all.

With love,

BDK

I Really Got To Save Money...

I really really got to save money.

I got extra money and now I must forget it about it because I want to get out of here soon.

Anyways, I will let you all know.

For now, I wanna go and find something to do.

That's all.

With love,

BDK

Off to the land of nod...

The land of nod is just a world where time doesn't really exist...

Who knows where that place is anymore... or if it's even around.

For now... I will end this short because of... dunno xD

That's all.

With love,

BDK

So... I'm Bored... And Hopeful

Yea, so today, I got bored. Played Dragon Nest for a bit.

Then watched more anime.

Then I'm being hopeful and wanted to try to go for a chance to go back to college.

Who knows...? Maybe I'll get a chance to go back xD

Anyways, I'm gonna take it slow and be hopeful now.

For now that's all.

With love,

BDK

And Then You're Wondering... How?

Ok, today, we went to the graveyards... and one of them has my dad's dad buried at... but here's the thing....

My dad second choice of being buried later on was to beside his dad... but now he can't because there's a new grave there.

That makes twice that my dad's future plans to fail...

Seriously, what is wrong with this county? Can't they search before they bury somebody? The first time, it wasn't suppose to be there because my dad's dad actually bought the land beside my dad's mom to be buried. Then next thing we know, they buried a guy there... in my dad's future burial place.

Now the second choice... wasn't suppose to be there at all. So plans for burial sites are gone down hill to a third and final choice... so it should happen for any future plans.

The thing is... when you're feeling sicker than usual, you do have to make these plans. My mom is going to in the future. My grandma already did. So yea...

My dad is afraid to speak up and it does cost too much to get it fixed...

But we do need to get ahold of my uncle to tell him the bad news... because well, my other uncle wanted to be buried there too.

My question now is... how in the world do they not look into these gravesites ahead of time? Do they just ignore the reserves and just place them there? Really... this needs to be fixed soon.

So that's the end of my rant.

Oh, and if you're wondering about me? I rather be a faerie. :D

That's all.

With love,

BDK

Not So Busy Day...

Today, I didn't really do anything much. Mostly sit around and stuff...

Then, we went to get some food and got some flowers to put on some graves tomorrow.

But, it's getting harder to get those flowers each year.

Anyways, I want to escape before things go to hell here.

That's all.

With love,

BDK

Lazy Day!

Today, I woke up in a bad mood... so I decided to call it a lazy day.

I didn't really do anything. I mostly watch anime, rest, didn't sleep, eat, watching somebody play a game. xD

That's my day today.

For now, I will be watching anime... hopefully to catch up with them before the next season.

Also, Working!! anime is interesting... so worth the watch.

That's all.

With love,

BDK

Finding The Meaning To Life...

What I will write in this blog is something that I have been mean to do for a while...

Tonight, just before I go to bed, my head will be filled with dark thoughts. Thoughts of dying, thoughts of being useless, thoughts of not belonging here or there or anywhere. But as I would write in my journal the few short things to keep me calm... my night would be peaceful once again.

Sure, I say things to myself and never reveal to the world until now. I am never happy. Once a person to find happiness is to find myself... but you know that is harder than usual.

They say it's easy to find a job. But I don't think it's that easy unless I move to another city. Even might have to move to another state or country one of these days.

I don't think my family knows how to accept my adulthood. They want me to stay home. I can't stay forever. I want to help them but I can't do it here.

I wanted to have somebody to blame but I am just mad. I shouldn't keep blaming people. Not even myself. Nobody should blame themselves because... life is... just how life is.

I can't really accept how I am... because there's still time. Somebody told me that I would die this way. Maybe. But doesn't mean that I would give up though.

I am saving my money now. Not only for my dog, Susie, but for an escape from here.

But everybody has demons or a darkness deep inside of them. Every once a while, we will feel an heartbreak like no other. We all might feel like there's an escape somehow, someway, someday, somewhere.

For me, I think I would feel a whole lot better if I wasn't here, but somewhere else. A new home. A new beginning. A new life.

Basically... I'm not done with finding the meaning to life.

I want to see the world. And... find a place to call home.

I'm not ready to die.

That's all.

With love,

BDK

Very Very Sleepy...

This is a sleepy post... so like to remind you all...

This is my second post of the day.

Ok... you know... this is just a random post. Deal with it.

Night.

That's all.

With love,

BDK

Before I Go Play A Game...

I'm gonna be playing Echo of Soul closed beta since I've gotta a late email stating that I was able to play it xD

I couldn't decide for a nymph or a witch loli... so I went for the loli for now.

Anyways, before I go play, I wanna say that there's not a lot of people reading my blogs now... Sorry if they have been a bit boring...

Just... it gets harder as the year progresses to come up with something new to write in these blogs for me.

However... I will do my best.

For now... that's all.

With love,

BDK

These Eyes...

These eyes can see.
We know.
But these eyes notice more than you see.
You don't know?

I can see the dangers beyond a dream.
I can see tiny details that are left unnoticed
I can count the ripples of a single stream.
I can always tell if senpai gets noticed.

These eyes can see far more than the world.
These eyes can see what love is like.
These eyes can tell if you're a boy or girl.
These eyes can see the treads of a bike.

I can see how people lie.
I can see how the world is sad.
I can see the small things as we die.
I can tell you when you are mad.

Just because I can see more.
I can't see my own future.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, yea... just a random poem that I just now thought of.

Anyways, things are happening left and right... there's nothing that's gonna stop us. We are always on the move. We are not gonna stop.

Until we drop and fall.

So... that's all for this blog.

With love,

BDK

Earache... Go... Away...

So since Saturday, I have this earache which I knew is an ear infection... I went on to the doctor in hopes that it won't get any worse.

Good thing, I'm getting medicine.

Anyways, sometimes I just wish I could get out of here... something is making me sicker and sicker each day...

Summer with loads of rain...

This is not fun.

Alright, gonna end this now... and watch Netflix (was gonna to last night but... yea... forgot.)

That's all.

With love,

BDK

I'm Home!

I'm finally home now.

And I got almost everything caught up... and everything put up.

I took a nap only to awaken by a neighbor shooting rockets... x.x great.

Chloe missed me a lot that she literally whined for me to take her out xD

Susie as always get into a fight with Chloe... so... I usually just let them deal with it.

For now... I will watch Monster University. Then watch something on Netflix... and then sleep.

So that's all.

With love,

BDK

Earache x.x

Well... My left ear decided to hurt a lot...

So annoying...

Anyways, time for sleep...

That's all.

With love,

BDK

Trying not to forget.

So today, I got sick because of something I eaten.

I'm alright now but seriously... Wish I don't eat that again xD

Anyways, trying not to forget this blog... But I will sleep now.

That's all.

With love,

BDK

Or... Not.

And if you're wondering why the other posts are deleted... Yea again.

I am heading to grandmas until Sunday.

Don't worry, I will update...

If I am not late.

For now...

That's all.

With love,

BDK

PS: my dad decided to watch Chloe while I'm gone... Hope he takes care of her. She tends to pee a lot more when she's at that time.

So... What To Do?

Well, one thing I am going to apply for some jobs online.

Another, I am going to look for more research/data jobs online.

And then... I'll play games xD

You should never give up gaming just because of something. If gaming is part of your lifestyle, then let it be. It's something that is very helpful to a person's life. Believe, you'll know how it is once you try.

If not, that's just you.

Anyways, trying to be a supportive person right now is my main job as a best friend... hopefully all goes well with him.

For now that's all.

With love,

BDK

Guess what... my cough is back x.x

I really must stop coughing a lot... it's so damn annoying to start coughing out of nowhere again...

I stopped coughing for two weeks now it's back.

So.... blah.

Anyways, I'm just getting ready to take a break from everything and play TERA... yea, it finally came on steam.

So for now that's all.

With love,

BDK

Always.. Waiting.

Waiting for what? That I cannot tell you just yet.

Anyways, I'm on the hunt for a part time job. So any sites locally is helpful. Wanna apply on easy jobs for now.

Well, I'm gonna end this a little short since I wanna continue a movie on Netflix.

That's all.

With love,

BDK

Influenster VoxBox UnBoxing (Both Video and Picture as well my views)

Firstly, I made a video here:

 

Secondly, the picture here: 

 

 Now for my review so far after unboxing:

I really enjoy trying out all of these products so far. Some I will be waiting for another day to actually try out. So far the food wise, they are awesome! I really enjoy them so much. So thanks!

Anyways, I am not a big fan of Chipotle BBQ but so far, it's alright. 

As for the other products, I will be doing those in the latter week.

Enjoy this short review while I'm gonna do a full review of each product in a timely fashion.

That's all.

With love,

BDK

Warning: A bunch of blogs coming up.

This is a personal blog right now, so I will be posting a bunch of different blogs in the next few...

You see, I got a Voxbox from influenster for free... and I won't post a load of pictures but I will talk about them.

This post will be the only one shared. The rest afterwards will be only shared to the website. So, thanks for understanding!

That's all.

with love,

BDK

Happy Mother's Day~ And a Message.

So, I want to wish my mother a happy mother's day.

Also, today I was mentioning something to my mom about not giving up no matter how you are.

So that's my message to all the readers out there...

Just because you lack many things, don't let it get you down. Most say that you could live without things but most can't live without dreams without just giving up on them and having regrets when their on the deathbed... Don't think about that at this very moment.

You must not give up. No matter how many say that it's impossible. Don't listen to them. Only listen to yourself. And if your parents are strict... respect them and chase your dreams when you know it's time to. It's alright to take a risk in life... just as long it's a risk that's worth it (and legal).

And really, don't ruin your life by doing things that can harm your life. It's never the answer to giving up.

The only reason why I stay with my mom now is try to get her to not give up. I want to make sure she has nothing to regret.

So... don't give up. Never give in. Always try to believe no matter how hard or impossible it seems.

Anyways, on another note... my pink (not the bright shiny pink ones that go over my head) headphones finally broke... the wire split in half... yay x.x

Lucky, I got blue ones that goes in the ear. <3

Also, please look for an unboxing video and blog soon... :D

(Also, might do some vlogs after this video... yea... a bit late but it's worth it.)

That's all for now.

With love,

BDK

PS: No matter what obstacle stops you, whether it's love, children, dogs, money, or anything... just don't give up on your dreams. It's your life that you are fighting for. Not what stops you. Include your children, love, dogs, and much more. Inspire others. Become you. Not someone that you're not.

Super Duper Tired...

Today, I went to some yard sales and found nothing xD

I was going to take a nap but a kitten decided to snuggle my head x.x

Then we went to Walmart and bought some stuff, mostly, shampoo for the dogs... because... they need baths. And getting ready for flea season for them too.

Then after that, came home and nap for a while...

Then Livingston and nothing there.

So, the humid weather made me super duper tired...

Guess who's going to bed early soon? This girl.

So for now that's all.

With love,

BDK

Sleepy... And Might Be Up Early... x.X

I'm gonna go on to bed tonight...

Also, I want to mention that this season has brought in a lot of cancelled shows. Lucky my two favorite shows have not been canceled so far... Just waiting for news for Gotham and Scorpion now.

And there will be new shows coming this fall and maybe this summer...

Heroes is coming back for a 13 episode season... if it makes it big... I hope it'll stay forever~

Anyways, that's all I want to mention for now...

And might be awake really early in the morning so need to try to sleep.

Night and that's all.

With love,

BDK

If Only... I was in a world where time doesn't exist.

Then just imagine all the things that can be done without worrying about the age or the time or anything.

Anyways, not much going on... just wanted to try out a game but some reason when I do, I always have to do something for somebody... really... do it yourself for once! x.X

Alright, I am writing this short blog to state that I am off to the game world for a while... please don't let somebody ask me to look up a phone number again... x.x

That's all.

With love,

BDK

And then... there goes the day.

As I was talking about earlier how time seems to always run out? Well...

An unexpected plan happened today which my dad wanted to go to the grocery store... so I had to quit doing what I was doing and go there.

Then I watched videos just to try and figure out if I could catch up with everything so I could play a game... now the time is almost 10...

Really... need to find a place to be alone and not worry about the time anymore.

Maybe find out how to get to this place where time and age is nonexistent.I always forget the term of but it's in Ireland and people mistake them as faeries xD

Anyways, told you there was a second post but... sadly, I may not be able to play Tera... I want to but I am sleepy...

Some reason... something makes me really sleepy lately...

That's all.

With love,

BDK

While Waiting For Games...

I'm gonna take a break from anime and movies for a little bit. Wanna play one game per day. Hopefully all goes well.

Anyways, I've been getting tired really easy lately... hopefully this is just a spell that would go away soon.

I really need to make a schedule on what to do during the day xD Time is not my best friend right now.

I will try to update another blog later today... hopefully.

Also, the game I am currently downloading is Tera. Since it finally came on steam... and I didn't had time to download the rest last night because of my sleepiness x.x

I need to go to bed a little early and hope that all goes well with sleep.

I feel a lot better since the second dose of antibiotics. But still have a slight cough here and there.

Alright, for now, I will end this and rest for a little... again, I am really tired for no reason at all x.x

That's all.

With love,

BDK

Happy Birthday to Me!

So how does it feel to be 29? Ah, it's nothing!

Today, I watched a movie and anime with my best friend in the world! He actually stayed up almost all night for me xD He didn't had to but he did anyways. So thanks for giving me a wonderful birthday!

Actually, we need to this more often! It seems like we need to take a break from reality and just watch stuff! Or play games xD

Anyways, Tera finally became available on steam. I didn't want to download it by itself because it's already hard enough to keep up with most online games, you know?

Aeria, steam, and another program uses these launchers where you can launch the game under one place, which is damn helpful if you want to play a favorite game.

I need to get back to playing games when I get done watching some stuff on Netflix... maybe play for up to 2 to 4 hours, then watch stuff, then so on. Not sure yet.

Alright, I had fun today. :)

I think I'll be passing out a little early for my birthday but it's alright!

I deserve this little break and stuff. And I'm thankful for my best friend for being there with me. :3

I will make plans to go there someday and we can officially hang out for real xD

For now, that's all.

With love,

BDK

May the 4th!

So today, I went to Lexington with my mom. Didn't really do anything else. Wanted to but dad doesn't like to go anywhere in Lexington... so a big disappointment there. Ah, well.

Anyways, tomorrow is the big day for me. Although, I think I'll be glad to stay home and play games for my birthday xD

And hopefully, my bestie will be there too. :3

Alright, I am going to find some videos to watch and then get off for a little to watch the finale for Gotham. Hope it comes back on next year!

For now that's all.

With love,

BDK

May the force be with you guys.

So... O_O Didn't get Much...

The title says it all. I was actually busy going to the store and getting food... Walmart and getting food there.

Also, got Rimmel make up because it says it can cover my face and it is oil free!

Yay!

Anyways... I will get back to doing surveys and making a random list for a website... and much much more.

Birthday is on Tuesday... so... hope that I can relax and play games on that day.

For now that's all.

With love,

BDK

Busy weekend x.x

Birthday weekend or not... Always busy at the first few days of the week.

Another short blog. Sorry guys.

That's all.

With love,

BDK

Sleepy Me.

I'm going to go on to bed after this short post...

Hopefully tomorrow will be a good day... doubt it but just hoping.

For now... this is a short post.

That's all.

With love,

BDK