Well, today, I am happy to say... I'm so glad it's over. January seemed like it took forever to get over with. Anyways, tomorrow is a new day, a new month. And I already got plans.
I can't really say what those plans are just yet. You just have to read my blog to see what happens.
Anyways, not a lot of to type out because I've been talking to him. And you are like, who is he? Well, it's best if you just keep reading all my blogs and find out later. Right now, he's having problems so I will let him be. So should you guys.
Well, I'm gonna do a monthly report on my blog:
United States---406
Germany---36
United Kingdom---18
Indonesia---12
Malaysia---2
New Zealand---2
Romania-----2
China-----1
France----1
Croatia-----1
I'm so happy. I copied this from my dashboard of the blog. So, thank you guys for reading. I would like to remind you guys in order to keep me updated, you can follow me here, follow my facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/AFaerieJourney. And you are welcome to leave comments anytime you want.
So, I'm proud to keep doing this for the rest of the year and also for next year, I will have a different format on how to update my blog.
But for now, I will keep trying to update daily. So, enjoy my faerie journey!
With love,
BDK
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
30 of 365: Many Things...
Well... I don't know what to say. I'm glad to have somebody to help but they know they don't have to.
Anyways, not sure what to put here. I do have great news: My net is working well tonight. I got a new modem. And it's... black and green instead of white. O_O
It seems to be faster...
So that's good, right?
Anyways, not a lot happened today because the phone person didn't came back to fix the phones until late. He replaced the phone jack and my modem. I didn't know the box was burnt up until my mom told me. So, I'm glad to have a new modem.
Well... I am unwell right now. I do dread this weekend because anything could happen.
Oh... I was thinking about something about my story... I am changing it completely.
Because... well... I just remembered a few things.
Anyways, let's just skip that right now and get on with my life... you all want to know what is going on today, right?
Well, same thing as it happens everyday. I woke up with rain in the middle of the night. And my mom telling me that the door was wide open. What is up with that? The funny part... the screen door was still locked. So... yep... strange.
And here's a script of the conversation my mom has been telling me all the day...
Mom: We should leave.
Mom: We should buy a car.
Mom: We should blame your dad.
Mom: We should forgive Bud.
Mom: We should leave.
Mom: We. We. We. We.
That's all I heard everyday of my life. When is these things going to happen, mom? You have no idea, do you? Stop saying those things if you know you're not going to do them. Simple as that.
Well, I tell you what... I accept any help as long it takes me away.
I hate blaming my family because I love them but sometimes, I wonder... if they truly do care about how I feel. I know my brother can't help because he's got a life. Why can't anybody see that? I do. I want a life.
That's all I want. I want a life.
A life of my own.
No parent telling me what I should do or not do. They taught me what they know and I am smart enough to see that. I thank them every day but this is 2013... it's time to let go of me just a bit. I want to help you. Not the other way around. Truly... I'm thankful for those things... but you guys really don't know how it makes me feel. Everyday, I feel guilty when my dad gives me money. Because I know how he feels about it. Everyday, I know how my mom feels when she helps me. She thinks she is doing a good thing but in reality, she needs the money for herself than me. Can't they see? I want to change my life so I can help them. They aren't going to live forever. And my dad's not going to work forever. Life is harsh but why can't they... let me go?
That is all.
With love,
BDK
PS: Happy 34th birthday to my brother! He's awesome. At least he got away from here while he can. I will be next, bro. Just wait!
Anyways, not sure what to put here. I do have great news: My net is working well tonight. I got a new modem. And it's... black and green instead of white. O_O
It seems to be faster...
So that's good, right?
Anyways, not a lot happened today because the phone person didn't came back to fix the phones until late. He replaced the phone jack and my modem. I didn't know the box was burnt up until my mom told me. So, I'm glad to have a new modem.
Well... I am unwell right now. I do dread this weekend because anything could happen.
Oh... I was thinking about something about my story... I am changing it completely.
Because... well... I just remembered a few things.
Anyways, let's just skip that right now and get on with my life... you all want to know what is going on today, right?
Well, same thing as it happens everyday. I woke up with rain in the middle of the night. And my mom telling me that the door was wide open. What is up with that? The funny part... the screen door was still locked. So... yep... strange.
And here's a script of the conversation my mom has been telling me all the day...
Mom: We should leave.
Mom: We should buy a car.
Mom: We should blame your dad.
Mom: We should forgive Bud.
Mom: We should leave.
Mom: We. We. We. We.
That's all I heard everyday of my life. When is these things going to happen, mom? You have no idea, do you? Stop saying those things if you know you're not going to do them. Simple as that.
Well, I tell you what... I accept any help as long it takes me away.
I hate blaming my family because I love them but sometimes, I wonder... if they truly do care about how I feel. I know my brother can't help because he's got a life. Why can't anybody see that? I do. I want a life.
That's all I want. I want a life.
A life of my own.
No parent telling me what I should do or not do. They taught me what they know and I am smart enough to see that. I thank them every day but this is 2013... it's time to let go of me just a bit. I want to help you. Not the other way around. Truly... I'm thankful for those things... but you guys really don't know how it makes me feel. Everyday, I feel guilty when my dad gives me money. Because I know how he feels about it. Everyday, I know how my mom feels when she helps me. She thinks she is doing a good thing but in reality, she needs the money for herself than me. Can't they see? I want to change my life so I can help them. They aren't going to live forever. And my dad's not going to work forever. Life is harsh but why can't they... let me go?
That is all.
With love,
BDK
PS: Happy 34th birthday to my brother! He's awesome. At least he got away from here while he can. I will be next, bro. Just wait!
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
29 of 365: A Thousand Years and Net Problems
A thousand years, I will always love you. And a thousand more I will keep you in my heart.
Anyways, due to net problems, I will be keeping this post short.
Sorry for the inconvience and thank you for reading. :)
With love,
BDK
Anyways, due to net problems, I will be keeping this post short.
Sorry for the inconvience and thank you for reading. :)
With love,
BDK
Monday, January 28, 2013
28 of 365: Trust and Faith
Once upon a time, I was a female that was in love with a guy who I thought I was the true one. But then he back stabbed me. That's when I realize that I will never betray anybody who I get close to. But... when I'm unhappy, I am not myself.
I will be happy with my decision. I am happy when I talk to him. I just don't want to betray him. I will find the truths behind everything.
I made mistakes before. I won't do them again.
I hate people who talks about people behind their back. I felt... that there were many wrongs to a right that has disappeared.
Where am I in this picture? Alone.
Forever.
Alone.
I will make that wish come true. I will make my dream come true. I will leave and visit him. Whether for love or for friendship, it'll be the right choice for me.
And so.
I end this tonight. Because I don't feel right. I just believe in the truth. I believe... I will not play Eden again... so that my emotions won't be shattered again.
Anyways...
Ta.
With love,
BDK
I will be happy with my decision. I am happy when I talk to him. I just don't want to betray him. I will find the truths behind everything.
I made mistakes before. I won't do them again.
I hate people who talks about people behind their back. I felt... that there were many wrongs to a right that has disappeared.
Where am I in this picture? Alone.
Forever.
Alone.
I will make that wish come true. I will make my dream come true. I will leave and visit him. Whether for love or for friendship, it'll be the right choice for me.
And so.
I end this tonight. Because I don't feel right. I just believe in the truth. I believe... I will not play Eden again... so that my emotions won't be shattered again.
Anyways...
Ta.
With love,
BDK
Sunday, January 27, 2013
27 of 365: Night Without Once Upon A Time
Yea... that does sound like a good title for a book but I'm just saying that this is a first night without the show Once Upon A Time being on. I can't wait until Feb. 10th comes around and then, we'll see...
Alright... that just reminds me... I am going to make a topic about a day in February that I'm sure you all are aware of. Valentine's Day. So far... I did get cards from my ex... but that's long time ago. I wasn't happy with that relationship for 6 years... It would've been 7, but seriously... how was I gonna survive another year? I... believe I hated myself for many things.
Anyways... I'm happy for another reason but I won't tell you guys. It's a secret. ;)
But I will hate Valentine's Day. I never like the color pink. I always love the color red. Red... Blue... Both makes purple. Yes, I'm random. But seriously though... I just hate the color pink. It's not me. Sure I have shirts that are pink but I only wear them because they are graphic shirts... I mostly get shirts that has awesome graphics on them. I might take one everyday so that you guys can see. xD
I... want to change my style... I am getting bored of wearing jeans all the time. I'm a female... I should be wearing skirts! >_< Damn that trauma...
Anyways, not sure what else to type here because... well, tonight is just a completely random night.
A night without Once Upon A Time...
I'm gonna go now.
Hope you all have a good day or night, wherever you are reading this at.
With love,
BDK
Alright... that just reminds me... I am going to make a topic about a day in February that I'm sure you all are aware of. Valentine's Day. So far... I did get cards from my ex... but that's long time ago. I wasn't happy with that relationship for 6 years... It would've been 7, but seriously... how was I gonna survive another year? I... believe I hated myself for many things.
Anyways... I'm happy for another reason but I won't tell you guys. It's a secret. ;)
But I will hate Valentine's Day. I never like the color pink. I always love the color red. Red... Blue... Both makes purple. Yes, I'm random. But seriously though... I just hate the color pink. It's not me. Sure I have shirts that are pink but I only wear them because they are graphic shirts... I mostly get shirts that has awesome graphics on them. I might take one everyday so that you guys can see. xD
I... want to change my style... I am getting bored of wearing jeans all the time. I'm a female... I should be wearing skirts! >_< Damn that trauma...
Anyways, not sure what else to type here because... well, tonight is just a completely random night.
A night without Once Upon A Time...
I'm gonna go now.
Hope you all have a good day or night, wherever you are reading this at.
With love,
BDK
Saturday, January 26, 2013
26 of 365: When in Doubt...
You always wonder what to do with your life... well, when in doubt, don't give up. Just try.
Though...
I don't really want to talk about it here because there's a lot of people that reads this. It's not bad, it's just... I have a lot of things on my mind.
Maybe, I will take my chance and just take off...
And never come back.
I don't know...
Just I'm confused with my life right now. I'm always...
Just nevermind.
I'm going to rest my fingers for Eden... because I'm gonna be at that GE... it's gonna be interesting.
Well... ta!
With love,
BDK
Though...
I don't really want to talk about it here because there's a lot of people that reads this. It's not bad, it's just... I have a lot of things on my mind.
Maybe, I will take my chance and just take off...
And never come back.
I don't know...
Just I'm confused with my life right now. I'm always...
Just nevermind.
I'm going to rest my fingers for Eden... because I'm gonna be at that GE... it's gonna be interesting.
Well... ta!
With love,
BDK
Friday, January 25, 2013
25 of 365: The Beginning
Smelling the air seems to be unfair. Everyday, it's a different smell. Something that is different in yet unfamiliar. What is going on with this world of mine? Why can't I wake up and be normal like everybody else? I can only pretend.
This is... the beginning.
Anyways, that is completely random but I am really tired myself so I'm going to go watch Lost Girl and then bed. February 8th, I will be watching Touch on Fridays. So that's everyday almost that I got shows to watch in the evening. :)
I am inspired to write stories when I am sleepy... I don't know why. But... you know... I could just write something everyday and see where it goes. I should... I could... I will.
I don't have much to say because I am getting sleepier by the minute. And I need more likes my fan page on Facebook... so please people, if you are reading my blogs, please go on Facebook and like my page "A Faerie Journey" and then you can be able to keep up with my blogs everyday. \o/
Well, I'm going to go now.
Ta!
And maybe... tomorrow, I may have a first chapter of my story... I'm not going to put it here unless somebody request me to do so. So... goodnight my dearies.
With love,
BDK
This is... the beginning.
Anyways, that is completely random but I am really tired myself so I'm going to go watch Lost Girl and then bed. February 8th, I will be watching Touch on Fridays. So that's everyday almost that I got shows to watch in the evening. :)
I am inspired to write stories when I am sleepy... I don't know why. But... you know... I could just write something everyday and see where it goes. I should... I could... I will.
I don't have much to say because I am getting sleepier by the minute. And I need more likes my fan page on Facebook... so please people, if you are reading my blogs, please go on Facebook and like my page "A Faerie Journey" and then you can be able to keep up with my blogs everyday. \o/
Well, I'm going to go now.
Ta!
And maybe... tomorrow, I may have a first chapter of my story... I'm not going to put it here unless somebody request me to do so. So... goodnight my dearies.
With love,
BDK
Thursday, January 24, 2013
24 of 365: Sooner or Later
Today's topic is just going to be random. But sooner or later, I will be getting a job. Of course, if I could drive, it would be so much easier to go and find a job. Of course, I'm going to complain and whine about it because my dad should've been a normal parent and taught me to drive when I turned the lovely age 16. But no... He claimed he didn't had time. Blah, blah, blah. I was willing to learn! But by the gods, he just didn't want to.
Anyways, I believe I should just pack up and save some money and just go. That's just it. I hate to be treated unfairly. I hate how people treats you in this town.
Seriously... sooner or later, guys... I'm going to blow up and literally tell everybody off. I just hope that day never comes.
Anyways, my stomach is hurting at the moment. I really wish it didn't hurt at the worst possible times but it does. So... that is all.
I am sorry that today's post is short but you can't helped nature.
With love,
BDK
Anyways, I believe I should just pack up and save some money and just go. That's just it. I hate to be treated unfairly. I hate how people treats you in this town.
Seriously... sooner or later, guys... I'm going to blow up and literally tell everybody off. I just hope that day never comes.
Anyways, my stomach is hurting at the moment. I really wish it didn't hurt at the worst possible times but it does. So... that is all.
I am sorry that today's post is short but you can't helped nature.
With love,
BDK
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
23 of 365: Do Not Dare To Take Away Your Future
Well, I was awaken early in hopes to get a form to complete my other forms to have a free appointment with my doctor. And what I get? "We are busy atm, leave your SSN and come back later." Well... Sorry for your luck but I'm not coming back. Anyways, not sure what is up with people lately?
Today, we have been hearing random booms... and the dogs all go crazy... What was it? I do not know. But seriously... we weren't the only ones that heard it! Whatever is going on... it's a sign. At least, I think it is.
Anyways, today's topic... Yes, it's the title of my blog and I even put it in my status on Facebook. What does it mean? Well, here's a little story about my life.
I wanted to leave my hometown when I was in 4th grade. I didn't care about where I went. I just wanted to go. But... my future was taken away when I noticed that my dad didn't let me do a lot of things. I was lucky to go on trips... but he never wanted to go anywhere over night. I mean... I had people that protected me, but my dad was strict about it.
So... I wanted to explore more colleges. I didn't like to stay close to home. I wanted to travel at that time. Go see more places. I went to college in hopes to find a way to escape my home. But then I listened to my dad... I never got a job. Because I listened to them.
I hated my life. I will always hate my life. Anyways, I want to get away from everything right now and in about 4 months or so, I'll be 27. I will regret not experiencing things in my life at the age. So you know...
I won't give up. So guys... please do not dare to take away your own future. If you have a dream and you want to do it... go for it. Don't give up. Keep pushing yourself closer to that dream. I will one day. But I cannot tell you when. So for now...
That is all.
With love,
BDK
Today, we have been hearing random booms... and the dogs all go crazy... What was it? I do not know. But seriously... we weren't the only ones that heard it! Whatever is going on... it's a sign. At least, I think it is.
Anyways, today's topic... Yes, it's the title of my blog and I even put it in my status on Facebook. What does it mean? Well, here's a little story about my life.
I wanted to leave my hometown when I was in 4th grade. I didn't care about where I went. I just wanted to go. But... my future was taken away when I noticed that my dad didn't let me do a lot of things. I was lucky to go on trips... but he never wanted to go anywhere over night. I mean... I had people that protected me, but my dad was strict about it.
So... I wanted to explore more colleges. I didn't like to stay close to home. I wanted to travel at that time. Go see more places. I went to college in hopes to find a way to escape my home. But then I listened to my dad... I never got a job. Because I listened to them.
I hated my life. I will always hate my life. Anyways, I want to get away from everything right now and in about 4 months or so, I'll be 27. I will regret not experiencing things in my life at the age. So you know...
I won't give up. So guys... please do not dare to take away your own future. If you have a dream and you want to do it... go for it. Don't give up. Keep pushing yourself closer to that dream. I will one day. But I cannot tell you when. So for now...
That is all.
With love,
BDK
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
22 of 365: My story idea
Today I'm going to lay off with my random rant and go into my story idea... so lately, I've been inspired to write but I've been too lazy to get started with it. So, I'm going to give out an idea... but I really want people's opinions on this, ok?
Remember, this is only an idea.
--------------------- Page Break ---------------------
As a child, I often wonder if I would ever be allow to have friends. My dad never let me had any come over. So I never experienced sleep overs or parties or anything such. So I didn't really had fun a child like anybody would think. Actually, I experienced death in my family at that time instead. Since then, I began to grow closer to my grandfather. He told many stories about ghosts, aliens, nature, etc. He was the one that got me into actually believing in ghosts. So I kept to myself because I had fear that people would think of me crazy... The only way to communicate was just be a nice, quiet girl at the time. But... I lived in another world at the same time. I matured faster, I grew wiser, I noticed things more. I kept this way even to this day. I wanted to tell everybody that I'm not like them. I don't want to be like them. This was my choice. As I grew older, I began to open up. I made my first real friend in 3rd grade. Sure we were awesome friends. But I grew to love him. When middle school came, he grew to only being a friend. I kept my crush away from him. Slowly, I began to grow up more, and opened up more to other people. But as I lived in this other world, I am somebody else. I am protected by an unknown person who took away my pain, my fears, my doubts... but I was always a loner. Of course, I knew that I was being tested... Tested for a future that is yet unknown. When my grandfather died when I was 16 and a sophomore at the time. I grew weak in my emotions. But by the time I turned 17, I knew it was time to become something... something I should have been a long time. This... was when my story truly began. I knew how to fight. I knew how to dance. I just... began to know things that I haven't knew before. My awakening began during that time. And so will my desire. My journey... started then. So I welcome you... my journey to a new life.
------------------------ Page Break ---------------------------
Anyways, it's just an idea but what do you guys think? Should I write this idea into a full blown story/book? Of course, the reason why I chose 17 is because that's actually when my journey on the Internet started. :)
So... yes... everything that has happened to me is connected to the world somehow.
And so... I welcome you once again to my blog: A Faerie Journey.
That is all for the night...
My mom fixed my cake finally... Yes... I said cake. Who wants cake? I do!
Anyways... Thank you for reading... And YES, I welcome comments, opinions and other things. So... please, please, comment me anything you want. Let it be questions, ideas, pictures, whatever. Thank you.
With love,
BDK
Remember, this is only an idea.
--------------------- Page Break ---------------------
As a child, I often wonder if I would ever be allow to have friends. My dad never let me had any come over. So I never experienced sleep overs or parties or anything such. So I didn't really had fun a child like anybody would think. Actually, I experienced death in my family at that time instead. Since then, I began to grow closer to my grandfather. He told many stories about ghosts, aliens, nature, etc. He was the one that got me into actually believing in ghosts. So I kept to myself because I had fear that people would think of me crazy... The only way to communicate was just be a nice, quiet girl at the time. But... I lived in another world at the same time. I matured faster, I grew wiser, I noticed things more. I kept this way even to this day. I wanted to tell everybody that I'm not like them. I don't want to be like them. This was my choice. As I grew older, I began to open up. I made my first real friend in 3rd grade. Sure we were awesome friends. But I grew to love him. When middle school came, he grew to only being a friend. I kept my crush away from him. Slowly, I began to grow up more, and opened up more to other people. But as I lived in this other world, I am somebody else. I am protected by an unknown person who took away my pain, my fears, my doubts... but I was always a loner. Of course, I knew that I was being tested... Tested for a future that is yet unknown. When my grandfather died when I was 16 and a sophomore at the time. I grew weak in my emotions. But by the time I turned 17, I knew it was time to become something... something I should have been a long time. This... was when my story truly began. I knew how to fight. I knew how to dance. I just... began to know things that I haven't knew before. My awakening began during that time. And so will my desire. My journey... started then. So I welcome you... my journey to a new life.
------------------------ Page Break ---------------------------
Anyways, it's just an idea but what do you guys think? Should I write this idea into a full blown story/book? Of course, the reason why I chose 17 is because that's actually when my journey on the Internet started. :)
So... yes... everything that has happened to me is connected to the world somehow.
And so... I welcome you once again to my blog: A Faerie Journey.
That is all for the night...
My mom fixed my cake finally... Yes... I said cake. Who wants cake? I do!
Anyways... Thank you for reading... And YES, I welcome comments, opinions and other things. So... please, please, comment me anything you want. Let it be questions, ideas, pictures, whatever. Thank you.
With love,
BDK
Monday, January 21, 2013
21 of 365: I will not give up, I will not give in
There were moments that I have listened to a song, reading a story, knowing another person. I have learn that life is meant to be stronger. I just know who I am. I know who you are.
The world around me is meant to be seen and to be heard. I will go. I will not come back to my home anymore. I just don't know what anybody would do if it wasn't for me to be here. But I feel guilty being home more often. I feel guilty because my family keeps giving me money. I don't want to feel guilty anymore.
I just... don't want to give up one my dreams for being here. I will visit the world. I will get away from the place that hurts me. I will be happy.
I know there will be more deaths, more hates, more relationships, new friends, new days, new times, more enjoyments. Whatever goes on, I know I will be happy.
Also, I learn that memories always last forever inside your heart. You can't forget easily no matter how hard you try to make it go away.
But I learn something more every day. You can't give up. I know one day I will eventually be on my own, away from my parents. But I'm an adult, it's suppose to be normal to be for me to already have a home of my own, etc. But with so much going on, I should be glad to have a home at least. One day I will travel. So I won't give up.
Anyways, for those who are reading this, I just want to say that believe in yourself. Always. And never give up, never give in. You have the will, use that power. Just be true and find who you are.
I almost gave up when I was 16, when my grandfather passed away. I didn't eat, I lost weight. And I even lost hope. When I turned 17, I grew stronger.
Like I told somebody, my magic number is 7. So, who knows what will happen when I turned 27... but my wish for right now... Turn 27 away from home. Anywhere in fact.
So for now... my advice to you is never give up. Whether it's your will to stay with your family, or be with the one who you love, or to travel, or to always bring happiness to your love one. Always believe in yourself. Always... believe in others as well.
That is all.
Thank you. :)
With love,
BDK
The world around me is meant to be seen and to be heard. I will go. I will not come back to my home anymore. I just don't know what anybody would do if it wasn't for me to be here. But I feel guilty being home more often. I feel guilty because my family keeps giving me money. I don't want to feel guilty anymore.
I just... don't want to give up one my dreams for being here. I will visit the world. I will get away from the place that hurts me. I will be happy.
I know there will be more deaths, more hates, more relationships, new friends, new days, new times, more enjoyments. Whatever goes on, I know I will be happy.
Also, I learn that memories always last forever inside your heart. You can't forget easily no matter how hard you try to make it go away.
But I learn something more every day. You can't give up. I know one day I will eventually be on my own, away from my parents. But I'm an adult, it's suppose to be normal to be for me to already have a home of my own, etc. But with so much going on, I should be glad to have a home at least. One day I will travel. So I won't give up.
Anyways, for those who are reading this, I just want to say that believe in yourself. Always. And never give up, never give in. You have the will, use that power. Just be true and find who you are.
I almost gave up when I was 16, when my grandfather passed away. I didn't eat, I lost weight. And I even lost hope. When I turned 17, I grew stronger.
Like I told somebody, my magic number is 7. So, who knows what will happen when I turned 27... but my wish for right now... Turn 27 away from home. Anywhere in fact.
So for now... my advice to you is never give up. Whether it's your will to stay with your family, or be with the one who you love, or to travel, or to always bring happiness to your love one. Always believe in yourself. Always... believe in others as well.
That is all.
Thank you. :)
With love,
BDK
Sunday, January 20, 2013
20 of 365: My dream... my wish...
I keep dreaming about being in another country. Another world. Another life. So, you know, it's my dream to travel. What should I do?
Anyways, not sure what to do tonight because I am late at my blog and my show is on. And I have to run my mom out of my bed. Haha.
There's not much to write tonight because I am watching Once Upon A Time, Revenge, and Hawaii Five-O tonight. Three awesome shows but so little time to spend on here. So... if you're curious of who I am... don't worry about me right now.
Sooner or later, I will get back to writing my blogs longer and better... so you just have to be patient with me. Anyways, this is all for now.
So... ta!
With love,
BDK
Anyways, not sure what to do tonight because I am late at my blog and my show is on. And I have to run my mom out of my bed. Haha.
There's not much to write tonight because I am watching Once Upon A Time, Revenge, and Hawaii Five-O tonight. Three awesome shows but so little time to spend on here. So... if you're curious of who I am... don't worry about me right now.
Sooner or later, I will get back to writing my blogs longer and better... so you just have to be patient with me. Anyways, this is all for now.
So... ta!
With love,
BDK
Saturday, January 19, 2013
19 of 365: Maybe...
I really should get a life. xD I mean... games are addicting but Eden Eternal has been my addiction ever since I started to play it. It's so easy to level and easy to choose any class you want. One day I will level up my classes to over 60... but it will take me a week to level up to another level. It's not that I'm lazy, it's just that I get tired so easy.
Anyways, not a whole lot to type on here because I've been trying to figure out what to say...
Well, I could talk about my dogs: Chloe and Susie, but that might just bored you all.
So today will be shorter than usual. So...
That's all for now.
With love,
BDK
Anyways, not a whole lot to type on here because I've been trying to figure out what to say...
Well, I could talk about my dogs: Chloe and Susie, but that might just bored you all.
So today will be shorter than usual. So...
That's all for now.
With love,
BDK
Friday, January 18, 2013
18 of 365: Eden and a reality.
I've been playing Eden all day. I realize that... I should really lay off playing games all day. Anyways, I am not a big gamer but Eden... is different for some reason. :3
Anyways, I want to talk about a few things tonight... as for a reality that my ex and best friend now made me realize something. I shouldn't find long distance love. I shouldn't find love period. It should find me. That's why I want to travel the world. I want to see things that I really never seen before I find love again.
Besides, I need to find happiness first. :)
So, Rai, thank you for being friends with me instead of being enemies with me. ^_^
Well, this is short because I'm tired and my fingers are dying here... (Not literally but if you keep pressing 234234234442234 over and over, you'll be wishing your fingers would be cut off too.)
Well, I'm going to go.
I'm glad though... that the truth is out there. I hate liars... always will.
With love,
BDK
Anyways, I want to talk about a few things tonight... as for a reality that my ex and best friend now made me realize something. I shouldn't find long distance love. I shouldn't find love period. It should find me. That's why I want to travel the world. I want to see things that I really never seen before I find love again.
Besides, I need to find happiness first. :)
So, Rai, thank you for being friends with me instead of being enemies with me. ^_^
Well, this is short because I'm tired and my fingers are dying here... (Not literally but if you keep pressing 234234234442234 over and over, you'll be wishing your fingers would be cut off too.)
Well, I'm going to go.
I'm glad though... that the truth is out there. I hate liars... always will.
With love,
BDK
Thursday, January 17, 2013
17 of 365: 17 Days passed for 2013
Konbanwa.
Minasan wa dōdesu ka?
xD Anyways, that's Japanese in case you all don't know. I love all different type of languages, and tonight I just thought of doing Japanese.
Basically, what I said is "Good evening. How is everybody?"
^_^
I really should learn more languages though. Because they are awesome to learn. Not easy though but still awesome to learn. :)
Anyways, it has been 17 days for this year alone. I'm surprise with all that has happened with me emotionally. Now it's time to get up and do something physically. I hate being depressed all the time. o/
Well, not sure what everybody is doing but you know... I'm going to get ready to watch American Idol in a moment. I hate watching the auditions but I'm guilty though because I can't help but laugh at them. Damn you American Idol, why?!
Anyways, not sure what to put here because I am close to running out of ideas.
But hey, I'm trying to keep up with this. \o/
So... Ta, minnasan!
With love,
BDK
Minasan wa dōdesu ka?
xD Anyways, that's Japanese in case you all don't know. I love all different type of languages, and tonight I just thought of doing Japanese.
Basically, what I said is "Good evening. How is everybody?"
^_^
I really should learn more languages though. Because they are awesome to learn. Not easy though but still awesome to learn. :)
Anyways, it has been 17 days for this year alone. I'm surprise with all that has happened with me emotionally. Now it's time to get up and do something physically. I hate being depressed all the time. o/
Well, not sure what everybody is doing but you know... I'm going to get ready to watch American Idol in a moment. I hate watching the auditions but I'm guilty though because I can't help but laugh at them. Damn you American Idol, why?!
Anyways, not sure what to put here because I am close to running out of ideas.
But hey, I'm trying to keep up with this. \o/
So... Ta, minnasan!
With love,
BDK
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
16 of 365: My Wish!
My wish is to get out of Kentucky and go see places that I never seen before. Basically... I want to see anime cons, festivals, faerie festivals. Everything that is fantasy worthy. Yes, that includes Disney. :)
But why do I have a wish like that? Because I always wanted to see things like that. I never get to go to places like this. So why not enjoy life while I'm still at it?
Anyways, another part of news: I just heard back from something that I completely forgotten about. But that won't stop me from finding a job though.
Seriously, I need to stop being lazy and stop being sick. xD I need to get up and go away from here.
There's nothing else to do though. But I was told to find my own happiness in my own life. So I shall do that.
Anyways, I am being distracted right now. Of course, mostly talking to my friends on Facebook because I asked people to talk to me. xD
So, that is all!
Ta!
With love,
BDK
But why do I have a wish like that? Because I always wanted to see things like that. I never get to go to places like this. So why not enjoy life while I'm still at it?
Anyways, another part of news: I just heard back from something that I completely forgotten about. But that won't stop me from finding a job though.
Seriously, I need to stop being lazy and stop being sick. xD I need to get up and go away from here.
There's nothing else to do though. But I was told to find my own happiness in my own life. So I shall do that.
Anyways, I am being distracted right now. Of course, mostly talking to my friends on Facebook because I asked people to talk to me. xD
So, that is all!
Ta!
With love,
BDK
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
15 of 365: Birth, rebirth, and life~
Well, for one thing, my new baby nephew is born today. His name is Lucius Gray Kirby. He's so cute.
If I wasn't sickly, I would beg my family to take me to see him but you know how hospitals are about sick people?
Anyways, I'm here to talk about birth, rebirth, and life... yes, life again... But you know... I have to find something to talk about to keep you guys reading!
Birth: What is it, how it is? Well, I tell you one thing, it's not easy giving birth. But I never had a child before in my life. So I dunno how it is. I just see people hurting when giving birth. But it's a blessing to have a child that moment. That special time, you just want to cry over this blessing. A child is such a beautiful creature in this world. Well, anything newborn is such a beautiful thing. Whether it's meant for survival or whatever, birth is something that we must do in order to bring a blessing to this world.
But I often wonder if I should have a child. I mean, I'm really weak as a human. Ah, well...
Alright, rebirth: I think I was reborn for this year. I am having a hard time trying to find a job. It's not because I'm lazy or anything, it's because I can't drive. I can't keep trying to walk somewhere and get sicker than what I am already. But besides, that... I guess rebirth is something that everybody needs. It's giving me a chance to enjoy being single again. So... you know... I actually wish I was better this year but I think I will be once things settle down here and there and everywhere.
Also, here we go again with life... well, I just want to say that you all should really enjoy your life while you are still here. You do not know what will happen the next day or the day after. So...
Anyways, I really have to go... My mom is driving me nuts about my own TV. What do expect? Netflix is very addicting to her. ~_~
That's all.
With love,
BDK
If I wasn't sickly, I would beg my family to take me to see him but you know how hospitals are about sick people?
Anyways, I'm here to talk about birth, rebirth, and life... yes, life again... But you know... I have to find something to talk about to keep you guys reading!
Birth: What is it, how it is? Well, I tell you one thing, it's not easy giving birth. But I never had a child before in my life. So I dunno how it is. I just see people hurting when giving birth. But it's a blessing to have a child that moment. That special time, you just want to cry over this blessing. A child is such a beautiful creature in this world. Well, anything newborn is such a beautiful thing. Whether it's meant for survival or whatever, birth is something that we must do in order to bring a blessing to this world.
But I often wonder if I should have a child. I mean, I'm really weak as a human. Ah, well...
Alright, rebirth: I think I was reborn for this year. I am having a hard time trying to find a job. It's not because I'm lazy or anything, it's because I can't drive. I can't keep trying to walk somewhere and get sicker than what I am already. But besides, that... I guess rebirth is something that everybody needs. It's giving me a chance to enjoy being single again. So... you know... I actually wish I was better this year but I think I will be once things settle down here and there and everywhere.
Also, here we go again with life... well, I just want to say that you all should really enjoy your life while you are still here. You do not know what will happen the next day or the day after. So...
Anyways, I really have to go... My mom is driving me nuts about my own TV. What do expect? Netflix is very addicting to her. ~_~
That's all.
With love,
BDK
Monday, January 14, 2013
14 of 365: Who am I?
Alright, I think it's time to get to know me. I've been doing this blog for 14 days now but longer by the count of my writing skills...
So I'm going to do a question like blog today... mostly questions that I'm sure you all are thinking sometimes...
Who am I? My full name is Brandy Danielle Kirby. I'm a writer by heart and when I have something to think or write about, I just grab something to start writing with. Usually, it's the computer these days but yea, that's who I am.
How old are you? I'm 26. But when May rolls around, I'll be another year older. I'm just getting older but you know... it makes me wiser.
Where are you from? I tell you but you cannot come searching for me. ^^' So I'll just say I live in a town in Kentucky. I hate my town. I want to move one of these days.
What are your hobbies? Reading; writing; watching anime, tv, movies; listening to music; singing; dancing... the hobby that I really love to try one day? Traveling.
Anyways... I'm sorry that this blog is a bit boring but seriously... I've been on an emotional ride since I realize that I can't keep bugging for love. So yea...
But wait, what do I mean about "bugging for love"? You really think I'm going to tell you? No, I'm not going to tell you until I am ready. For now, I just want to get away from my computer and watch some anime. I think I need it.
So that's all. Ta!
With love,
BDK
So I'm going to do a question like blog today... mostly questions that I'm sure you all are thinking sometimes...
Who am I? My full name is Brandy Danielle Kirby. I'm a writer by heart and when I have something to think or write about, I just grab something to start writing with. Usually, it's the computer these days but yea, that's who I am.
How old are you? I'm 26. But when May rolls around, I'll be another year older. I'm just getting older but you know... it makes me wiser.
Where are you from? I tell you but you cannot come searching for me. ^^' So I'll just say I live in a town in Kentucky. I hate my town. I want to move one of these days.
What are your hobbies? Reading; writing; watching anime, tv, movies; listening to music; singing; dancing... the hobby that I really love to try one day? Traveling.
Anyways... I'm sorry that this blog is a bit boring but seriously... I've been on an emotional ride since I realize that I can't keep bugging for love. So yea...
But wait, what do I mean about "bugging for love"? You really think I'm going to tell you? No, I'm not going to tell you until I am ready. For now, I just want to get away from my computer and watch some anime. I think I need it.
So that's all. Ta!
With love,
BDK
Sunday, January 13, 2013
13 of 365: Another realization~
You don't have to worry anymore. After I sat at my grandma's, reading the manga Doubt, I realize... there's more people like you.
And you know... after I sat there and think, even though I had my mom bugged me a few times, but I figured it all out... Actually I want to put it in my own words: "I believe in second chances, you know? So maybe one day, we could still have a chance." So... if it happens, it happens. If not, then it won't. But I'll be happy with the result because I learn that you will be my best friend forever. So... I won't be jealous anymore. I won't have to worry... but I'll still care for you like an older sister would though. But I don't want to be called a sister. I want to be a best friend. The friend that is there to help you. The friend that gives advice, the friend that will travel to play games with you. Just remember... don't always treat me like a woman. Treat me like you always would with your friends. :)
Anyways... I realize that my true self is not Alasta. But... she has a name that I haven't thought of in a lot time... So, I will find out... make a list. Because I will need help with it. So... with that... my world is gone but I welcome another world... that only somebody knows.
Anyways, who knows what tomorrow brings? But you got to remember... life is special. You can't treat it like crap. So... we'll see what happens sooner or later.
So I end today's blog with a thought in my mind... "What happens now?" Well... we'll see.
With love,
BDK
And you know... after I sat there and think, even though I had my mom bugged me a few times, but I figured it all out... Actually I want to put it in my own words: "I believe in second chances, you know? So maybe one day, we could still have a chance." So... if it happens, it happens. If not, then it won't. But I'll be happy with the result because I learn that you will be my best friend forever. So... I won't be jealous anymore. I won't have to worry... but I'll still care for you like an older sister would though. But I don't want to be called a sister. I want to be a best friend. The friend that is there to help you. The friend that gives advice, the friend that will travel to play games with you. Just remember... don't always treat me like a woman. Treat me like you always would with your friends. :)
Anyways... I realize that my true self is not Alasta. But... she has a name that I haven't thought of in a lot time... So, I will find out... make a list. Because I will need help with it. So... with that... my world is gone but I welcome another world... that only somebody knows.
Anyways, who knows what tomorrow brings? But you got to remember... life is special. You can't treat it like crap. So... we'll see what happens sooner or later.
So I end today's blog with a thought in my mind... "What happens now?" Well... we'll see.
With love,
BDK
Saturday, January 12, 2013
12 of 365: My World~
As many of you wonder... who or what am I? I don't give out a lot of detail about who I am. So I won't say much.
First of, my world... is my own world that I created to escape all the pain in the world. I go there only when I'm needed. Guess that's a shock to some people, right?
But also... I am such a weak person as a human. So when I become stronger, it's something from inside of me making that way.
Anyways... I just wanted to say... that's all. Because until I get over this cold as a human, I will not be writing much. And that explains why it is late tonight.
So... until tomorrow.
With love,
BDK
First of, my world... is my own world that I created to escape all the pain in the world. I go there only when I'm needed. Guess that's a shock to some people, right?
But also... I am such a weak person as a human. So when I become stronger, it's something from inside of me making that way.
Anyways... I just wanted to say... that's all. Because until I get over this cold as a human, I will not be writing much. And that explains why it is late tonight.
So... until tomorrow.
With love,
BDK
Friday, January 11, 2013
11 of 365: A Balance of Hearts
Right now I just feel like I'm battling for my heart to survive. What do I mean by that? Well, I'm going to explain a few things about myself.
I broke up with my bf all for the wrong reasons. I didn't broke up with him because of his family. And each day passes, I still care about him. And now I have time on my side.
Should I stay this way forever? No. I told him like this "I will love you until you stop loving me. But I will love you always if you love me back." So, it's something that I learn... If the person doesn't love you back, it's pointless to keep holding on.
So, right now, my heart is on the edge of another breakdown. But I'm holding strong. That's just my thing right now. I just don't know what to do. I live in the middle of a place that seems to go nowhere. I need to get out while I can stand and while I am able and while I am sane.
I don't know what else to do. I just don't know.
I'm being weird about how I started out with my blogs and journals. But you know... I took this challenge of the daily blog update. So I will keep my part on it until the end. So for now...
I must go.
Ta!
With love,
BDK
I broke up with my bf all for the wrong reasons. I didn't broke up with him because of his family. And each day passes, I still care about him. And now I have time on my side.
Should I stay this way forever? No. I told him like this "I will love you until you stop loving me. But I will love you always if you love me back." So, it's something that I learn... If the person doesn't love you back, it's pointless to keep holding on.
So, right now, my heart is on the edge of another breakdown. But I'm holding strong. That's just my thing right now. I just don't know what to do. I live in the middle of a place that seems to go nowhere. I need to get out while I can stand and while I am able and while I am sane.
I don't know what else to do. I just don't know.
I'm being weird about how I started out with my blogs and journals. But you know... I took this challenge of the daily blog update. So I will keep my part on it until the end. So for now...
I must go.
Ta!
With love,
BDK
Thursday, January 10, 2013
10 of 365: I'm an idiot...
Each and every day... I realize something that I want to change in me. I want to stop bugging my exes to keep me, bring me back, etc. I do this every single time. This time, I realize that I made it worse.
I apologize for that. Truly, I do. I should have listened to your emotions first. I don't know what overcame me when I asked you that question and got that answer. Truly... I should stop. I really want to be friends with you always... so... let's try it again in a few days. After I'm calm down.
Anyways, that is all...
Just a really short blog post today... because I've been through all kinds of emotions. Now I hate myself for that. I shouldn't hate myself... I should change myself when it comes to love and break ups. I do it every single time.
I just... hope we are still friends after this quiet break.
That's all.
BDK
I apologize for that. Truly, I do. I should have listened to your emotions first. I don't know what overcame me when I asked you that question and got that answer. Truly... I should stop. I really want to be friends with you always... so... let's try it again in a few days. After I'm calm down.
Anyways, that is all...
Just a really short blog post today... because I've been through all kinds of emotions. Now I hate myself for that. I shouldn't hate myself... I should change myself when it comes to love and break ups. I do it every single time.
I just... hope we are still friends after this quiet break.
That's all.
BDK
Reason behind deactivation on Facebook...
Well, I just hurt myself and I believe I hurt him more. I just wasn't ready yet to break my silence so I deactivated my facebook account just for two days. Which is the rest of today, all day on Friday and the half of Saturday. I will be back on Saturday after noon. So please be patient with me with my choice. Thank you.
BDK <3
BDK <3
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
9 of 365: The impossible can be possible...
Actually... it's true. Because we do know what's possible and what's not. But truly, if you challenge yourself, you can make the impossible, possible. I'm waking up slowly, each moment, each step in my life seemed impossible. I'm alive because of the impossible.
So let's think of the things that are impossible. Magic? Well... maybe. But our minds in itself is full of science and yes, magic. Well, let's think about this... when science was first known, everybody thought it was magic. Ok, I just proven my point there! Haha... just think... there are a lot of places out there we know that still believes science in magic.
I guess I went a bit off topic here.
But I'm going to do the impossible though later on in my life. I'm going to travel the world. I don't know where to start first but I guess baby steps helps first. :)
Anyways... I hate to cut this blog short but it couldn't be helped because that's all I've been thinking about today... but also...
"We" (you know who you are) live in another world. We're special in each and every way. We are not what many people thinks we are.
That is all.
With love,
BDK
So let's think of the things that are impossible. Magic? Well... maybe. But our minds in itself is full of science and yes, magic. Well, let's think about this... when science was first known, everybody thought it was magic. Ok, I just proven my point there! Haha... just think... there are a lot of places out there we know that still believes science in magic.
I guess I went a bit off topic here.
But I'm going to do the impossible though later on in my life. I'm going to travel the world. I don't know where to start first but I guess baby steps helps first. :)
Anyways... I hate to cut this blog short but it couldn't be helped because that's all I've been thinking about today... but also...
"We" (you know who you are) live in another world. We're special in each and every way. We are not what many people thinks we are.
That is all.
With love,
BDK
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
"STOP IT WITH THE SILENCE"
So... I've been thinking... and so has something else inside of me. I'm completely healed... I should come back from my silence...
And so... here's the conversation:
"Why are you doing this?" A booming voice said to me in my head.
Holding my head... "owww... wtf?"
"Stop being childish. Your heart is healed. You are done. You can talk now."
Alright then... I am done with the silence and this is gonna go straight to Facebook!
So... HERE WE GO!
With love,
BDK
Or Ysabel... if you want to count her. ;P
And so... here's the conversation:
"Why are you doing this?" A booming voice said to me in my head.
Holding my head... "owww... wtf?"
"Stop being childish. Your heart is healed. You are done. You can talk now."
Alright then... I am done with the silence and this is gonna go straight to Facebook!
So... HERE WE GO!
With love,
BDK
Or Ysabel... if you want to count her. ;P
Coming soon: Just an idea I've been working up in my head...
I don't know how it will turn out but... I want to write a story. But I won't reveal what it is just yet. It will be fantasy and it might be a first that I've done this.
Everybody has a different part in them. I'm an angel, a faerie, an elf, etc. But I'm not always myself a lot of times. So... you know... this just comes to an idea based on the game Eden Eternal. I hope everybody doesn't mind if I change their names but base it of them... Also... I'm tired of this silence that I'm holding for everybody. I might break it on Friday at midnight... :o We'll see what happens first. ;)
But for now... keep a watch here.
Everybody has a different part in them. I'm an angel, a faerie, an elf, etc. But I'm not always myself a lot of times. So... you know... this just comes to an idea based on the game Eden Eternal. I hope everybody doesn't mind if I change their names but base it of them... Also... I'm tired of this silence that I'm holding for everybody. I might break it on Friday at midnight... :o We'll see what happens first. ;)
But for now... keep a watch here.
8 of 365: Reaching for my dreams...
I'm a woman of dreams. I've had so many all my life that I settled for a few dreams. You want to know what they are? Well continue to read as I list all of them and the reasons behind the dreams.
1. Travel the world.
Reason? I always wanted to get out and travel. But I didn't want to limit just the US alone. One day, before I get to the merry age of my 50's and 60's. I want to travel the world. Japan and Ireland being the main two places world wide, but if it were to be in the US: California, Hawaii Tennessee and Florida.
2. Become a full fledged writer:
Reason? I love to write as is. I love the world of fantasy so much that I want to turn everything that I experience into a book. I will one day do so. I'm inspired to write though. So maybe before the end of this week, I will write a story that I might share with you all. But I only said... might.
3. Find my own happiness.
I will no longer rely on a man or a boyfriend. I will wait for that to happen on it's own. I had heard that life is not a movie... well, I am going to treat my life that I'm hard to get. I'm not going to let myself fall for anybody anymore so easily. After all, my destiny lies beneath the true reality. I doubt I would go back to him either. But... I am not going to say no if it happens. Anyways, enough about that. I'm such a sappy woman when it comes to love and I just... want it to be over already. This is why I am taking my silence from Facebook as my real self.
But I do have other dreams but those will come to me a little at a time. I think I'm going to take a break from love for a while longer. I'm not getting any younger and who needs a man in their lives anyways, right? Anyways, my point is... I want people to teach their children that their dreams are actually worth it. I'm not letting my dreams go down the drain just because I'm at this age. Even if my dreams will end up being part of my bucket list, I will not give up!
So, people... don't be the human that devours dreams.
With love,
BDK
1. Travel the world.
Reason? I always wanted to get out and travel. But I didn't want to limit just the US alone. One day, before I get to the merry age of my 50's and 60's. I want to travel the world. Japan and Ireland being the main two places world wide, but if it were to be in the US: California, Hawaii Tennessee and Florida.
2. Become a full fledged writer:
Reason? I love to write as is. I love the world of fantasy so much that I want to turn everything that I experience into a book. I will one day do so. I'm inspired to write though. So maybe before the end of this week, I will write a story that I might share with you all. But I only said... might.
3. Find my own happiness.
I will no longer rely on a man or a boyfriend. I will wait for that to happen on it's own. I had heard that life is not a movie... well, I am going to treat my life that I'm hard to get. I'm not going to let myself fall for anybody anymore so easily. After all, my destiny lies beneath the true reality. I doubt I would go back to him either. But... I am not going to say no if it happens. Anyways, enough about that. I'm such a sappy woman when it comes to love and I just... want it to be over already. This is why I am taking my silence from Facebook as my real self.
But I do have other dreams but those will come to me a little at a time. I think I'm going to take a break from love for a while longer. I'm not getting any younger and who needs a man in their lives anyways, right? Anyways, my point is... I want people to teach their children that their dreams are actually worth it. I'm not letting my dreams go down the drain just because I'm at this age. Even if my dreams will end up being part of my bucket list, I will not give up!
So, people... don't be the human that devours dreams.
With love,
BDK
Monday, January 7, 2013
7 of 365: Love is... strange, yes?
Hello, guys. Well, today is my first day of my healing process and I already broke one part of my silence on my phone. I just had to tell somebody about the stove. That... would have to be another story for you guys.
Today is going to be about love. What is love? Well, love is not always that thing you see only on Valentine's Day. Love is the person you care about, the person who raise you. The person that listens to you. Love is everywhere. But love can be confusing as well hurtful. I've been holding off to tell you all about love.
Love can destroy you. Love can heal you. Love can be dangerous. Love can be betrayed. Love can be deception. But you know, I learn something about love over the past few days. And love is powerful.
I know it would be impossible to take back time. But I will take him back anytime. I'm not mentioning a name because... well, I do know one thing... I was happy more with him than anybody else. I was more open. I... really hope I find somebody like him again. The world is a vast place. And with my mind set on a mission and a goal... who knows what I will find in this big place?
Love is strong for me now. Because I'm healing using it. I have decided that life shouldn't be without love. So I am best friends with my ex. And I care about him as a best friend should. I will be there to listen to his problems. I will be myself once again. I'll even support him for his next girlfriend... I'm healing, ok? It helps to talk things out.
I just realize that... I can't keep relying on men and boyfriends to help me make me happy anymore. I am going to make myself happy. Sure there will be a path someday that I will find my soul mate. But it won't be any of my exes. And I accepted the fact that I'm not just a human being. I'm not just an angel. I'm not just anything. I'm a complicated being that is still learning what life is all about.
Maybe all this week... I will talk about something different. What do you guys think? My views always change so I'm not a one-sided type of person. My mind is always open to new ideas and thoughts. My heart is always open to welcome anybody as a friend, sister, mother, daughter, and someday a lover or a wife.
But from now on... If I get into a relationship... it'll have to start slow. No longer it should be about sex, guys. It should be about trust, faith, and friendship of the relationship.
So... I am getting my balance back in myself. And don't worry... I'm not blaming myself anymore. So... that's a start.
So tomorrow's topic should be... something else. :)
With love,
BDK
"Do you know the animal that devours dreams?" "Baku" "Bzzzz, wrong answer!" "Then what is it?" "The animal that devours dreams is... human." - from Bakemonogatari.
Today is going to be about love. What is love? Well, love is not always that thing you see only on Valentine's Day. Love is the person you care about, the person who raise you. The person that listens to you. Love is everywhere. But love can be confusing as well hurtful. I've been holding off to tell you all about love.
Love can destroy you. Love can heal you. Love can be dangerous. Love can be betrayed. Love can be deception. But you know, I learn something about love over the past few days. And love is powerful.
I know it would be impossible to take back time. But I will take him back anytime. I'm not mentioning a name because... well, I do know one thing... I was happy more with him than anybody else. I was more open. I... really hope I find somebody like him again. The world is a vast place. And with my mind set on a mission and a goal... who knows what I will find in this big place?
Love is strong for me now. Because I'm healing using it. I have decided that life shouldn't be without love. So I am best friends with my ex. And I care about him as a best friend should. I will be there to listen to his problems. I will be myself once again. I'll even support him for his next girlfriend... I'm healing, ok? It helps to talk things out.
I just realize that... I can't keep relying on men and boyfriends to help me make me happy anymore. I am going to make myself happy. Sure there will be a path someday that I will find my soul mate. But it won't be any of my exes. And I accepted the fact that I'm not just a human being. I'm not just an angel. I'm not just anything. I'm a complicated being that is still learning what life is all about.
Maybe all this week... I will talk about something different. What do you guys think? My views always change so I'm not a one-sided type of person. My mind is always open to new ideas and thoughts. My heart is always open to welcome anybody as a friend, sister, mother, daughter, and someday a lover or a wife.
But from now on... If I get into a relationship... it'll have to start slow. No longer it should be about sex, guys. It should be about trust, faith, and friendship of the relationship.
So... I am getting my balance back in myself. And don't worry... I'm not blaming myself anymore. So... that's a start.
So tomorrow's topic should be... something else. :)
With love,
BDK
"Do you know the animal that devours dreams?" "Baku" "Bzzzz, wrong answer!" "Then what is it?" "The animal that devours dreams is... human." - from Bakemonogatari.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
6 of 365: Country Music, Healing, and Other Thoughts
Country music. Well, not many people likes this type of music. So too bad, I'm going to talk about it. I enjoy listening to country music. It's something that I was raise up to listen to. But I'm strange when it comes to country music. Not all country music is about love, beer, and women. Some songs are... odd. I am going to give a few examples in a moment so that you can listen to them and if you wish to comment, you're welcome to do so.
The first one: Every Storm by Gary Allan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ_Bnu_RbQM
And another song: If I Die Young by The Band Perry: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NJqUN9TClM
And finally: Tornado by Little Big Town: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaEmQJG2HHU
Alright, now we are going to the next topic of the day: As many of you know that I posted something about taking a break from FB and taking a week to heal. I need it. But I feel like it's helping but it's slow. I have posted one thing on the like page. The picture is simple to the fact that's how I've been feeling lately.
So... I need to wake up. I am going to heal. I'm done crying. I'm done lying to myself. I am going to reveal all of my emotions over the next week. So... I hope you all enjoy the post and start asking me all kinds of questions.
As for other thoughts... Well, I suggest you all like "Once Upon A Time". It's interesting how they place reality and fantasy together. Maybe some people might not understand it... But I do. I will post a link on A Faerie Journey FB page so that you all can go and check out the page. :)
Well, gotta go. I must warn you though, through this healing process, I may have short posts and long posts... but I will try to keep you all updated. :) So... enjoy!
With love,
BDK
The first one: Every Storm by Gary Allan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ_Bnu_RbQM
And another song: If I Die Young by The Band Perry: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NJqUN9TClM
And finally: Tornado by Little Big Town: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaEmQJG2HHU
Alright, now we are going to the next topic of the day: As many of you know that I posted something about taking a break from FB and taking a week to heal. I need it. But I feel like it's helping but it's slow. I have posted one thing on the like page. The picture is simple to the fact that's how I've been feeling lately.
So... I need to wake up. I am going to heal. I'm done crying. I'm done lying to myself. I am going to reveal all of my emotions over the next week. So... I hope you all enjoy the post and start asking me all kinds of questions.
As for other thoughts... Well, I suggest you all like "Once Upon A Time". It's interesting how they place reality and fantasy together. Maybe some people might not understand it... But I do. I will post a link on A Faerie Journey FB page so that you all can go and check out the page. :)
Well, gotta go. I must warn you though, through this healing process, I may have short posts and long posts... but I will try to keep you all updated. :) So... enjoy!
With love,
BDK
I just don't know.
The title of this blog entry basically states, I don't know what to feel anymore. I guess I could hate but I feel like I shouldn't hate. So I won't hate.
My goal after all for this year is Enjoy life, be free, love more, hate less, follow my dreams, listen to my heart. And... I just wish things were different. Maybe one day I will feel better for myself. Well, you never know. Anyways, I'm going to end this...
But also to note for all my friends, I am taking a week's break from Facebook world. I will only become my blog for that time. My daily update will be tonight so look for it.
Thank you all for following my FB page. Keep at it!
With love,
BDK
My goal after all for this year is Enjoy life, be free, love more, hate less, follow my dreams, listen to my heart. And... I just wish things were different. Maybe one day I will feel better for myself. Well, you never know. Anyways, I'm going to end this...
But also to note for all my friends, I am taking a week's break from Facebook world. I will only become my blog for that time. My daily update will be tonight so look for it.
Thank you all for following my FB page. Keep at it!
With love,
BDK
Saturday, January 5, 2013
5 of 365: Existence, Do I even exist?
The question that comes to my mind each time I get depressed: Do I even exist?
I do. I'm consider myself as something that should live. I want to live free. Breathe free. Exist.
But there are times that I want to not exist. I want to lie in the corner and just hope something will kill me.
After an conversation with a friend, it made me think more about the topic.
We all exist for a higher meaning in life. We may not accept it. But for me, I am learning to accept it.
A few days, possibly the night of the thing that happened... something woke up inside of me. It told me: Exist for who you are.
I'm not crazy, I'm just saying what I felt from my heart and soul. I listen to my heart more than anything in the world. I shall follow it.
If something felt burden on me, I will know it.
If something is troubling you, I will know it.
I exist for that purpose. Because I'm an angel to everybody.
I may accept both the darkness and light but I'm told that I will find my way to the light. Maybe so... but who knows when that will be?
So I shall end saying this to you. Who are you? Why do you exist?
That is all.
With love,
BDK
I do. I'm consider myself as something that should live. I want to live free. Breathe free. Exist.
But there are times that I want to not exist. I want to lie in the corner and just hope something will kill me.
After an conversation with a friend, it made me think more about the topic.
We all exist for a higher meaning in life. We may not accept it. But for me, I am learning to accept it.
A few days, possibly the night of the thing that happened... something woke up inside of me. It told me: Exist for who you are.
I'm not crazy, I'm just saying what I felt from my heart and soul. I listen to my heart more than anything in the world. I shall follow it.
If something felt burden on me, I will know it.
If something is troubling you, I will know it.
I exist for that purpose. Because I'm an angel to everybody.
I may accept both the darkness and light but I'm told that I will find my way to the light. Maybe so... but who knows when that will be?
So I shall end saying this to you. Who are you? Why do you exist?
That is all.
With love,
BDK
Friday, January 4, 2013
4 of 365: Life and friends.
Friends. What do we know about them? They are people we get close to everyday. We can love them like brother or sister. We can just like them because of their kindness. But the harsh part comes to me. I don't have many friends. I love to get to know people and make friends with them. But I was told to notice that friends has the word "end" in it.
So you know... that has got me thinking... We all end.
I believe that there is a soul, yes. But our memories, our dreams, our realities, our emotions don't always pass down to another person. So... what am I getting at on today's blog?
Let's think a bit... Why do we make friends? So we can have a social life? Sure. So we can have something to do? Sure. Let me tell you... I'm not a talker by choice. I'm friends with you, yes. But I don't talk a lot with most and half of my friends.
I'm even lucky if I talk to somebody that I love. I don't like to talk period. Typing is different before you go and say something. I love typing because it's an escape for me. You don't see me. You don't hear my voice. Big difference there.
So... friendship will end. I always hate the idea of forever for friendship. I like the forever for love. A soul mate. But that's another story. Another blog. Tonight we are talking about friendship and life.
I'm sure I will have a lot of people ask me questions or tell me something different. But I have the write to type what I want.
But then again, I could be lying about having friends. I get along with males a lot easily than females. Why? I was raised up mostly around my cousin and my brother. Both of them were always awesome to me. But my way of thinking was through experiences in life.
My dad would never let me have friends by my home. I was lucky to get one. I'm sure he knows who he is if he reads this. I guess you could say that's why my prescriptive over friends is different than anybody's. But don't get this wrong. I really like getting to know people... as long they don't see me. I'm just strange that way.
Anyways... I'm not sure what random thing to end this night with... but I do like to add... I'm AFK on Eden and writing this... So... my life is strange as is. But hey...
I'm happy being called friends. Or anything in fact. I am truly an angel when it comes to being nice to people. I will not say no that easily. So... yes... that is all about my view tonight...
The question for you all is: Do you all want to hear more of my random thoughts? All you have to do is tell me. ;)
So... that is all.
With love,
BDK
So you know... that has got me thinking... We all end.
I believe that there is a soul, yes. But our memories, our dreams, our realities, our emotions don't always pass down to another person. So... what am I getting at on today's blog?
Let's think a bit... Why do we make friends? So we can have a social life? Sure. So we can have something to do? Sure. Let me tell you... I'm not a talker by choice. I'm friends with you, yes. But I don't talk a lot with most and half of my friends.
I'm even lucky if I talk to somebody that I love. I don't like to talk period. Typing is different before you go and say something. I love typing because it's an escape for me. You don't see me. You don't hear my voice. Big difference there.
So... friendship will end. I always hate the idea of forever for friendship. I like the forever for love. A soul mate. But that's another story. Another blog. Tonight we are talking about friendship and life.
I'm sure I will have a lot of people ask me questions or tell me something different. But I have the write to type what I want.
But then again, I could be lying about having friends. I get along with males a lot easily than females. Why? I was raised up mostly around my cousin and my brother. Both of them were always awesome to me. But my way of thinking was through experiences in life.
My dad would never let me have friends by my home. I was lucky to get one. I'm sure he knows who he is if he reads this. I guess you could say that's why my prescriptive over friends is different than anybody's. But don't get this wrong. I really like getting to know people... as long they don't see me. I'm just strange that way.
Anyways... I'm not sure what random thing to end this night with... but I do like to add... I'm AFK on Eden and writing this... So... my life is strange as is. But hey...
I'm happy being called friends. Or anything in fact. I am truly an angel when it comes to being nice to people. I will not say no that easily. So... yes... that is all about my view tonight...
The question for you all is: Do you all want to hear more of my random thoughts? All you have to do is tell me. ;)
So... that is all.
With love,
BDK
A reply to something I said yesterday.
Alright, yes, I did say that about that part about guys finding me and proving me to love. But a friend of mine came on FB and told me something that made me realize something.
I shouldn't rely on guys. I should rely on myself. I could edit the whole entire blog but I am just too lazy to go and erase that whole thing.
So, thank you, my friend. You are true. And you are right.
:)
With love,
BDK
I shouldn't rely on guys. I should rely on myself. I could edit the whole entire blog but I am just too lazy to go and erase that whole thing.
So, thank you, my friend. You are true. And you are right.
:)
With love,
BDK
Thursday, January 3, 2013
3 of 365: I Don't Care.
It's over between Rai and me, but I don't care some reason. But I don't hate him. I am not angry at him. I just figured it would be best this way. The darkness has devour me enough as it is. I am not happy with my decision but it would be the best.
I won't forget him. But I will put this in my regret list for the rest of my life. I can't help it. I am a nice person. I loved him. Too much in fact. I guess that's the problem with me.
I've been through too much in my life that it has made me wiser and strong will. I don't know why I am weak against people who are like me in some way. Even a friend told me so. I guess I am meant to be alone forever. But I won't hold it against me.
I am going to use this as a lesson. For anybody to love me, you have to prove it to me this time. How? Skype, Raidcall? No. I want you to be able to hold a job, pay for a ticket (either plane or bus or train) to get here in 6 months. If you aren't able to do so, then I will not bother you. I don't want to find anymore online boyfriends but I will keep finding friends from around the world.
So... you know... I don't care what I post. But know this, I will not talk about the break up after this day. After this blog. It's over. Enough. Nada. But it makes me better for myself to end it all.
I do not feel hate... but I feel blessed with more love. It's my goal to enjoy life more. So... thank you for opening my eyes for that.
And so... This ends my blog for the night. I'm sorry it's not as enjoyable as it was... but at least... I know my destiny. My fate... because of an angel. And I'm that angel.
So... I'm going to end this by saying I am watching Elementary. You all should watch it too. :)
With love,
BDK
I won't forget him. But I will put this in my regret list for the rest of my life. I can't help it. I am a nice person. I loved him. Too much in fact. I guess that's the problem with me.
I've been through too much in my life that it has made me wiser and strong will. I don't know why I am weak against people who are like me in some way. Even a friend told me so. I guess I am meant to be alone forever. But I won't hold it against me.
I am going to use this as a lesson. For anybody to love me, you have to prove it to me this time. How? Skype, Raidcall? No. I want you to be able to hold a job, pay for a ticket (either plane or bus or train) to get here in 6 months. If you aren't able to do so, then I will not bother you. I don't want to find anymore online boyfriends but I will keep finding friends from around the world.
So... you know... I don't care what I post. But know this, I will not talk about the break up after this day. After this blog. It's over. Enough. Nada. But it makes me better for myself to end it all.
I do not feel hate... but I feel blessed with more love. It's my goal to enjoy life more. So... thank you for opening my eyes for that.
And so... This ends my blog for the night. I'm sorry it's not as enjoyable as it was... but at least... I know my destiny. My fate... because of an angel. And I'm that angel.
So... I'm going to end this by saying I am watching Elementary. You all should watch it too. :)
With love,
BDK
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
2 of 365: Boring Day!
Today has been pretty much boring. But I am a lot better emotionally though. Thank god. Anyways, what is my daily update gonna be about, you wonder?
Well, I'm not sure. But I am finally posting pictures on my FB page: and... so far nothing is less expected. xD
I'm seriously trying to become more of a writer that I am meant to be. I write the songs and poems but I can never complete the stories. I'm gonna make it my mission to complete my stories this year! If not, somebody has to punish me, okay? I'm being serious here. xD
Anyways, I am looking at books on Amazon... and wondered about a few books... I mean... why are there no more books like Magick? By Angie Sage? The last one she has I believe was called Queste? I really enjoy those books even though they were for younger teens and children. xD
Well, I would post a video or two but I guess I could post one that has got me really thinking... It's called I'm Turning Into You by The Offspring:
Also, I might want to add that I am welcome any suggestions, ideas, or anything to make my blog better. Well, I'm not changing the daily update thing but hey, you can try to improve it!
I have a new email that you can specially contact me there! It's alastabdk@yahoo.com.
Now, go like my page. Go listen to that song. Now email me for suggestions and questions! Anything to make this blog active!
Thanks all!
BDK
Well, I'm not sure. But I am finally posting pictures on my FB page: and... so far nothing is less expected. xD
I'm seriously trying to become more of a writer that I am meant to be. I write the songs and poems but I can never complete the stories. I'm gonna make it my mission to complete my stories this year! If not, somebody has to punish me, okay? I'm being serious here. xD
Anyways, I am looking at books on Amazon... and wondered about a few books... I mean... why are there no more books like Magick? By Angie Sage? The last one she has I believe was called Queste? I really enjoy those books even though they were for younger teens and children. xD
Well, I would post a video or two but I guess I could post one that has got me really thinking... It's called I'm Turning Into You by The Offspring:
Also, I might want to add that I am welcome any suggestions, ideas, or anything to make my blog better. Well, I'm not changing the daily update thing but hey, you can try to improve it!
I have a new email that you can specially contact me there! It's alastabdk@yahoo.com.
Now, go like my page. Go listen to that song. Now email me for suggestions and questions! Anything to make this blog active!
Thanks all!
BDK
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
1 of 365: First day of 2013.
Well, here we go... the first daily update of 365 for My Faerie Journey blog. I have been planning for this event for months now. And I can finally do it! I am going to put down a lot of thoughts, just total randomness... Songs that I wrote in the day. Things that I've done in the day. Today, well, I have been feeling like crap.
And so it brings me to remembering some of my old posts from an unexpected website. I'll just post the website... The sad part about that site is I can't remember my passwords. Haha. But I miss the name though. I could be Kashina_Numushu once again by posting this: http://kashina-numushu.livejournal.com/
The funny part is how the last post states for everybody from there to watch my posts here. Haha. I miss those moments.
2009 seems so long ago.
Oh, well. I continue to live everyday. I will have mistakes, heartbreaks, and many things in my life. But I will always be strong to love.
http://funnymama.com/post/127455 <-- also, I feel bad for Zero... at least he can get a good time going. xD
Anyways, I'm going to go now... Before my mom bugs me. xD
Also, Happy New Year's!
I'm going to enjoy 2013 some reason.
With love,
BDK
And so it brings me to remembering some of my old posts from an unexpected website. I'll just post the website... The sad part about that site is I can't remember my passwords. Haha. But I miss the name though. I could be Kashina_Numushu once again by posting this: http://kashina-numushu.livejournal.com/
The funny part is how the last post states for everybody from there to watch my posts here. Haha. I miss those moments.
2009 seems so long ago.
Oh, well. I continue to live everyday. I will have mistakes, heartbreaks, and many things in my life. But I will always be strong to love.
http://funnymama.com/post/127455 <-- also, I feel bad for Zero... at least he can get a good time going. xD
Anyways, I'm going to go now... Before my mom bugs me. xD
Also, Happy New Year's!
I'm going to enjoy 2013 some reason.
With love,
BDK
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