Planning Stuff Out

After yesterday, we learn a lot of stuff. Today, we move on with a proud learning lesson.

Anyway, I am going to say that I am stuck in a limbo type of mind. But I'm wide awake and hoping that things will be alright.

I am going to try to figure out what to do for my discord server. I really to do more events to get my server involved. So we are gonna make an awesome!

If any of you wants to join the server, just comment here.

- B

Fear Many Things

I fear many things, but I do fear seeing others getting hurt. I am very protective when it comes to certain people on VRChat. There are good people. Then there are people who likes to cause drama and may bring trauma to you.

Anyway, I guess you could say that I have experienced the both sides of the VRChat realm.

I'm gonna try to be careful who I talk to or get to know because yea... some people can be hard to trust.

I'll be okay, because I do have a limit and a closed circle of people that I have as friends. So yea...

I really need to talk to him about it sometimes. Because I am just a weird person when it comes to certain conversations.

- B

Weird Day

Today has been weird emotionally. But I think I will be alright.

Also, I just learn that Sleep Token is coming to Kentucky in September. And that makes me very excited and wishing that I had a job to go.

I am beyond excited.

I am going to get back to today. Even if I feel a bit weird. So yea. I should be alright. Just tired. I think I am tired.

- B

Bought Cake Today

I bought cake today.

Yes, that's my update for today.

- B

Just Tired

I can finally say that I got things done in my room. Though, it's annoying to have a cat that likes to go inside your closet without you knowing about it until you hear a noise of something falling down.

Anyway, I am good. Just tired. I am not a big fan of Mondays and tomorrow will be a busy day for me as I won't be home at all in the morning hours. I can't help it.

So yea.

I shall get on with the rest of the day.

- B

Just Don't Know How The Year Is Gonna Be

It is always interesting how my family just makes a decision last minute and I am not sure how I feel about trying to hurry up to get ready to go. To tell you the truth, it is tiresome.

Anyway, it won't be until April or May before I can get my permit and only then, I'll be out on the highway to learn how to drive. I have to learn to drive safely first so it might be on the backroads where I'll be driving. Then eventually, I'll be on the main highway. This is not going to be an everyday thing since my dad is trying to find something that is cheaper on gas. So yea... I know for sure that I won't be getting my license anytime soon.

I am also trying to find a job and that's proven to be hard as it is. So I need to get ahold of a program to help me find a job. Here's to hoping for good vibes and good luck.

I just don't know how things are gonna be turning out for the rest of the year.

- B

Scared

We made it official. I'm not sure if the world is ready, but I feel okay. There may be doubts and worries because I've been hurt so much in the past that it's hard to feel like this is really happening.

I've been too used to online dating, you know? And I am always scared if it comes to the time of meeting someone that I've met online.

After what happened with Jack, my ex. I am more scared than ever. He's the second guy that I've met in real life.

What can I do? Just hide my feelings and not tell the truth? I do need to talk. And I know deep down, I am grateful. But again... I am scared.

I once told someone this and they just argue with me about it. Which is stupid. It's okay to be scared of something you are worried about.

I can't help it.

I love Snowie. I really do love him. But why do I feel so scared?

- B

Meep

I am in the meep mood lately. Just randomly saying meep until people gets tired of it. But don't worry, I'm just bored. I'm just gonna get on with the day.

So... if you don't mind... Meep.

- B

Here's To Hoping For A Future Of Driving

When you are tired of the snow, but get more snow in the forecast and you're like... dang it.

I am just trying to figure out what to do for the rest of the day and the snow just makes me wanna stay in bed and sleep more. Ah, well. I'm awake now.

Sometime in the summer, or when it warms up, I'm gonna be more free and be able to drive more.

I'll be happy when I am able to get my permit because I'll be out on the roads and driving around. Quite possible, hoping that my dad will get me a vehicle of my own by then. Here's to hoping he does!

I do want to add that I don't keep high hopes on anything related to what my dad does. It's something that I am well aware of over time and over my life. So yea.

I shall get one with the day.

- B

Get Used To It

Don't you hate it when someone reads anything related to politics out loud? Yea, I do. I am not really in the mood to listen to anything related to such so yea.

I just have this mood that I really don't care what you read to me at this moment so... yea... when I say to stop reading it, I mean it.

We dealt with this president before and he goes back and forth with his words a bit too much. Pretty much, this isn't my first rodeo. So get used to it.

I'm done ranting now. So if you excuse me for a bit.

- B

Don't Mind Me Being Quiet

I am not emotionally stable today. So if I am quiet or talking in a serious tone, don't bother asking what's up.

I pick up emotions from others to the point that I just shut down. Like right now, I am just completely in the silence zone that I really don't want to talk.

If you start saying that you don't care, I will... just shut down. Because I don't really want to talk about it.

How would you feel if someone tells you that they don't really care what happens anymore? Yea.. it's a hit to the heart and it hurts.

So don't mind me if I will be quiet for a bit today.

- B

Happy 1 Month Anniversary

First of all, Happy 1 month anniversary to my wonderful partner. We are amazing together and we are happy.

I'm his rock and he is my hope.

Things sure has changed in a month's time. But yea. I am very happy to be with him right now.

However, we are only official in certain parts. Mainly on TikTok and Discord.

Anyway, I am just gonna be hanging out with him and my found family. So this is a good day.

- B

Kentucky Weather Is Weird

You know when you're in Kentucky when the weather just wants to be all four seasons in the span of a few days... yea... Welcome to Kentucky, y'all.

I guess you could say that things are going okay so far where I am locally. But sadly, not everybody is lucky. So keep those victims in other parts of Kentucky in your thoughts and prayers.

Anyway, I am glad that we didn't go towards my aunt's today. I love the place, not going to lie, but I just didn't want to feel stuck and without talking to my man at the same time.

I am sure that as soon as the weather let's up and warm up. We will be going back my aunt's more often.

I can say one thing for sure... I will be really glad once I get my premit and driving around. Once I'm used to the highway and get my driver's license, I am taking myself a long road trip. A much needed one, in fact. I am just keeping it away from my parents because they don't really think it's a good idea for me to do so. And plus, they are the type that either wants me to stay home or go with me. It's never me, myself, or I. So yea.

Anyway, I think I will relax for a bit longer and hope for good things to come to me.

- B

Rainiest Day of The New Year

Of course, today has to be the most rainiest day of the new year. Anyway, I am glad that I won't be involved on going out for the rest of the day.

I hit my head going into my dad's truck. I will be fine, but it's not a fun feeling at all.

I think I am getting tired of rain, but at the same time, I don't mind at all.

I shall rest for a bit and hope for the best for my day... and maybe the headache that's coming will go away soon.

- B

Headaches Suck

It sucks to be in my home sometimes. I really don't want to lay down because I know if I do, I would never hear the end of it with my mom. So I just stopped laying down after 4PM EST every single day.

My headache is going away slowly, but I really can't say 100% for sure where it came from. Ah, well.

I am going to relax for the rest of the night and maybe avoid going on vrchat because it can lead to major headaches if I don't take breaks from it.

Anyway, I am glad that everything is a bit calmer, but my head still hurts a lot so yea... need to take a break from any loud noises for now.

We shall see how I feel later on.

- B

Painful Morning

I hate that I had to deal with the pain. Especially the pain in my right hip. It's gone, thankfully, but I am cautious about my pain anymore. It does make me a bit shaky but I will be alright.

Anyway, I am trying to be careful when I try to walk around, because my hip was hurting a lot. I am fine now.

But still, I have to keep an eye out on my hip more often.

I am going to get more stuff done because I am heading onto VRChat in a bit. You all should try playing it sometimes.

- B

Waiting For News From State of Play

Have you ever felt like the world is just repeating itself over and over? Not exactly like deja vu, but almost there.

Oh, and I don't like how my family always change schedules at the last minute and it's annoying as hell.

Anyway, I am going to get this done since State of Play for Playstation is today. Can't wait to see what is coming out or already announced.

I am not expecting any news of Kingdom Hearts 4. We shall see.

- B

Getting Ready For The Day To Be Over

I am just so ready for the day the be over with. I'm done being dragged into drama.

And one person is trying to cause that. But it's not him, or my friends. It's just a person who needs to learn to grow up and stop causing trouble.

Anyway, I am just tired of everything and wish to stay quiet about it.

I will get on with the day... and hope that all will get better.

- B

Low Side of Emotions

Today has been very eventful as one could say. But I am alright. Just I sort of ate a lot of food.

Anyway, I am going to get things done and hope for the best for the rest of the day.

I am kind of a bit on the low side of emotions, but I will be fine either way.

- B

I did stayed up all night

Just trying to do my best with today, since I did stayed up all night.

We have two cats that are now in heat and it's getting annoying as well.

I am going to get things done and hope for the best of the rest of the day.

- B

Just Went Shopping Today

So I went shopping today. I didn't really get much. And surprisingly, I didn't buy a book. So I am proud of myself.

However, I did buy a new journal. And my mom help me buy a plushie. And I got mainly T-Shirts. So yay me.

I am tired, but I am feeling good and hyper. Also, got cake.

I think tomorrow my family will be taking a break. But I am not sure yet.

-B

Enjoy My Friday

I gotta say, things are a bit weird today.

I finally was able to sit down and do what I want.

Although, I am tired now.

Anyway, I'm gonna try to enjoy my Friday and hope for the best for all of us. Especially with the weekend.

- B

Worth Getting Things Done

I am glad to be able to get things done. It's early, but it is worth it.

Anyway, I am not a big fan of thunderstorms during this season because of the past history of Kentucky getting tornadoes at odd times.

I hope all is well.

I really miss streaming live on TikTok... so I should be able to get back to that pretty soon. We shall see.

I will be playing a game for everybody else later on. Well, only on my discord.

- B

Something About A Book Coming Back To Me

I've forgotten about a book called Fallen. And I read somewhere they made a tv series based on it.

Something about this book keeps coming back to me.Ah, well.

I am going to get to get more stuff done. I hope that tomorrow will be good to me. Despite the rain that is coming in and stuff.

Ah, well.

- B

Glad Today Is Over

So I have a lot of stuff to dealt with today and I am glad it's over.

My doctor's appointment was today. And I had blood work done today as well. It's never fun getting poked twice. Go me.

Anyway, I am doing good. Just gotta try to get stuff done so I can be free for the rest of the night. Yay me.

- B

Valentine's Day in 11 Days!

It's another Monday. And it's time to move on from topics that I have been bothered by.

Valentine's Day is in 11 days! I wish I could get a special something for this day, but I'm okay with nothing at the same time. So yea.

I'm used to not getting anything for Valentine's Day as you would know. The last gift I gotten was from my mom. And well, that's been way over 20 years ago.

Anyway, I am going to get the last two journals done and then off to never never land (joking).

- B

Moved On And Life Is Slow Today

I was at my aunt's and I had to tell her what happened between me and my ex. As well as the new info about what my friend found out about my ex.

Life is not as it seems.

And well, I have moved on.

I do hope that once May comes around, I will be free of one of the payments I am making from purchasing something for my ex.

If I had a job, I could pay off the other one in a heartbeat.

Speaking of jobs... I do need to search for a job to the local concert venue to see if they are hiring.

Anyway, life today is a bit slow. But I will be glad that it will pass by quickly.

- B

Trying To Keep Myself From Being Late

I guess you could say that I had a busy day today. I never thought I would be late on journals.

Ah, well.

I am sort of tired. But I wish to get things done as fast as possible and not let anything interrupt me again. But yea...

I will get this done and hope for the best for me.

Also, keep my mom on your thoughts and prayers. I hope she will be alright.

- B