Books Always Make Me Happy

Not sure if anybody knows that books always make me happy. I just love getting them and reading them. It might be awhile but I don't care.

Anyway...

His name is Victor Baker.

My mood is not that well so I will keep this blog short like always.

- B

Not My Day At All

I feel like today was just not my day at all. I hate it when people snap at me when I get annoyed or frustrated with my own mom. She does things at the most inappropriate times and it gets annoying as heck sometimes. So yea.

Anyway, I am going to move on and get on with the day now.

Her name is Annette O'Shea.

I sometimes wished that I could just live in Ireland and never come back to America. Just saying...

- B

My Mood Is A Bit Better

I am feeling a bit generous because my mood is a bit better.

Anyway, I am going to get done with this blog. I do have a giveaway to attend to in a few. I'm wishing good luck to those who are in it.

His name is Foster McDonald.

I am going to get things done so I can watch this closely.

See y'all tomorrow.

- B

Long Ass Nap

I took a long ass nap. But that's because it's that time of the month and I an more tired around this time. It can't be helped, I guess.

I am glad my mom isn't going anywhere tomorrow. It'll be nice to stay home and safe. Especially with all that rain we keep having here in Kentucky.

Anyway...

Her name is Marcia Pierce.

I just realize that my computer is slow at picking up words and pastes... so I am not sure what is going on. Oh, well.

See you tomorrow.

- B

Another Day, Another Busy Day

Another day, another busy day. I do noticed that all the rain has wrecked havoc to some people locally and it's just not gonna get any better since we are getting more rain over the weekend.

Anyway, I am glad that the trip to Walmart is over with and I can rest tomorrow after I go eat breakfast in the morning. So yea.

I do have an anime to watch tomorrow night into midnight the next day... so I will be ready for that.

Right, shall get this done... with this:

His name is Nathan Winters.

Not gonna lie... he does look kind of hot xD

I should behave since my boyfriend might see this and be like... princess...

See you tomorrow!

- B

Damp Day

It has been a rather damp day. Basically, rain since I was awake this morning. With a few moments here and there of a break. But then it just goes back to raining again.

I am tired of the rain, but it can't be helped.

My chair came in yesterday and I put it together with my dad's help today. It's really comfy. That's for sure.

Anyway, I shall get on with the rest of the day...

Her name is Patricia Brown.

I think it catches the moody part really well in this AI picture. xD

Alright, see ya tomorrow.

- B

I Am Tired

I am tired. I hate being tired. But it can't be helped.

Anyway, I did a lot for today. So I will be glad to take a break from streaming tonight so yay me.

His name is Foster Jenkins.

Alright, I shall get the other journals done before I sit my ass down to watch the Nintendo Direct For Nintendo Switch 2.

- B

Be Glad For Today To Be Over With

I am going to be glad to see April Fool's Day over with because it appears that it's not my day at all.

Oh, well.

Her name is Cassie Smythe.

It's interesting that her last name matches the character yesterday. It could make a great story in a way...

Anyway, I shall get on with the rest of the day now.

See y'all tomorrow.

- B

Had A Lot Stuff Done Today

It's just a typical Monday and the rain is here to stay for a bit. Ah, well.

I had a lot of stuff done today and now I am on my way to trying to start a new challenge starting tomorrow

His name is Ernie Smythe.

See you tomorrow.

- B

Vibing With Music Inspired By Kingdom Hearts

Here I am just vibing with piano music from Kingdom Hearts as I am planning out for the next week. So this is gonna be interesting to deal with so yea...

Anyway...

Inspired by the name Marilyn Kane and I thought it was interesting how this came from just the name. Well, the description of the name.

Never understood how an AI does that every so often. I just say, eh... keep it.

Alright, I am going to get things done now. See you tomorrow.

- B

Haunt Me

I hate reliving my past traumas and they always seem to know how to haunt me.

Anyway, I got lots of other stuff to do... and to deal with

His name is Ernie Anderson.

See you tomorrow.... it might be late because my mom might decide to go see my aunt's tomorrow... so just wanted to give you a heads up.

- B

Had A Long Day

I had a lot of stuff done today. And I'm gonna be celebrating on having 4K on my live tonight. So hoping people do come by.

Anyway...

Her name is Shannon Douglas.

I shall get one with the rest of the day and be ready to stream this evening.

See ya tomorrow.

- B

Doing Something A Tiny Bit Different

Since I do randomize my activity every other day and if I have time, I will do this all in one because there's a lot.

Firstly: Random question:

When was the last time you changed your opinion about something major?

The government. And it was after Obama got out of the office.

Anyway, I shall get on with the rest of the day then.

His name is Nathan Schmidt.

I got one fault in this picture. His eyes.

Alright, see you tomorrow.

- B

I survived without help

Just another day of trying to figure out why my dad is a butt... but you know, I am used to it by now.

This year has been really interesting and I just want to get to enjoying my life. I survived being without having help or someone to talk to, then I can survive being me.

Her name is Kat Robson.

I am going to sit around and wait for my dad to come home now. So...

See you tomorrow.

- B

Need To Save Money

I need to stop sending money to people. At least until I get over $400. It's because I need to go shopping for my birthday and spending money like that is actually not good.

Anyway...

His name is Chris Doyle.

I will be actually glad when my birthday does come around.

And I'm celebrating it on VRChat on stream so let's go!

See y'all tomorrow.

- B

I Am Tired Again.

 I am tired. Again.

But it will be alright.

Anyway.

Her name is Debbie Bouquet.

It's such a beautiful picture.

Shall get on with the day.

See y'all tomorrow.

- B

Tired

I can tell that I am so tired. I want to try to livestream tonight so yea.

Anyway

From the name Charles Hampton (Also, confused how the AI came up with a setting instead of a person so I'm just clueless)

Shall get on with the rest of the day then.

- B

I May Have Bought Too Much Sweets

I am glad that today is over with.

And I may have bought too much sweets xD

Anyway... I really don't have much to say... so here we go:

Her name is Diane Anderson.

I love how you can get different art styles with these things.

So yea.

See all y'all tomorrow.

-B

I wish I live In Another World

I wish I live in another world sometimes.

That's all I want to say.

His name is Kevin Darden.

I'll be back tomorrow. After I get done with Walmart business and stuff. I'm getting tired of being in this home sometimes.

- B

Not Much To Add Here

I'm not going to get write much in this post.

So here you go.

Her name is Julie Winters.

And that's all for today.

See you all tomorrow.

- B

Another Day Of Trying To Figure Out Stuff

Just another day, trying to figure out what the hell I am going to do.

Well, I did go to the store, but this time I didn't buy anything sweets. Maybe donuts.

Anyway... here we go.

His name is Ernie Brown.

I'm gonna get the rest of the stuff done.

- B

Trying To Figure Out If I Could Add Poems Or Stuff

I haven't decided to add poems to my blog yet. I think I will figure that out tomorrow. We shall see.

I'll figure out if I would add them later.

Anyway

Her name is Jennifer Ward.

I love how she looks in this picture.

Anyway, shall get other stuff before I start streaming tonight on Twitch and Tiktok.

- B

So Ready For The Day To Be Over

I am so ready for this day to be done. For some odd reason.

I'm just gonna keep this short.

His name is Howard Forman.

See you tomorrow.

- B

A Boring Day Because Of The Weather

It's either a rainy Sunday or a dreary Sunday. Whatever you look at it, it's pretty much a boring day either way.

I am alright. My emotions and stuff seem to be doing a lot better. So I am glad for that.

Anyway...

Her name is Patricia Hobson.

I wonder how far the AI image can go.

We shall see as I do more. Believe me... we are doing this for awhile... maybe two months? We shall see.

New challenges for April soon... wonder what's gonna be next.

See you tomorrow.

- B

Not Sure What Is Wrong With Me

Something about me is just not right and I really don't know what it is.

Anyway, just gonna make this post short since I am not feeling great.

His name is Orson McDonald.

See y'all tomorrow.

- B

A Bit Stressed Out

A bit stressed out. But I will be okay.

I don't really get into too much detail. Let's just say that my mom is home and she's been more needy.

Anyway...

Her name is Ethel Pritchard.

That's all.

Don't really have much to say. So see you tomorrow.

- B

Excited And Happy

I got to drive again. I got to hear Sleep Token's new song. I'm also trying to watch a movie.

Am I excited and happy? Yes.

Anyway~

His name is Chris Saunders

He does look interesting as I would say.

I am going to keep this short as I am trying to finish the movie up soon.

See y'all tomorrow.

- B

Excited For Lilo And Stitch Movie

Disney just released a trailer for Lilo & Stitch and it looks so good!!!

https://youtu.be/VWqJifMMgZE?si=PJteNTbN375AMjGr

 I shared the link so you can watch it too. I am excited to see this when it comes out.

Anyway~

Her name is Bonnie Winters.

I love how this AI image generator made it seem like she is mysterious and very hidden.

I can't wait to see what is next.

Also... I did forgot that Moana 2 came out on Disney Plus today so I may watch it over the weekend... we shall see.

I am a huge Disney fan and will always be a huge Disney fan no matter what. I will judge movies and shows based on how I enjoy them. So yea.

Anyway, see you tomorrow.

And have a good day. Or night xD

- B

Trying To Be Drama Free

I'm trying to strive. And it's hard to realize the time. So I'm just gonna go with it.

His name is Anthony Bouquet.

Now the last name is very random but his ai image is interesting to say.

Who knew.

Anyway, I do have a lot of stuff to deal with.

I've ended a drama via in my own server because it is complete BS to try to drag people who don't need to be drama in the first place. And it's so tiring that you have to ban someone for that reason too.

So I'm just done with it all.

See you all tomorrow.

And hope for little to no drama.

- B

My Mom Is Home Now!

 My mom is home now! I'm glad everything is doing good!

She does need to rest so we are making sure she will rest while she's at home.

Anyway~

Her name is Julie Blum.

Her eyes looks so mysterious and I like it.

Anyway, I do have a lot of stuff to catch up with because I came home late.

I drunk an energy drink so I am hyped up.

I shall get things done now.

See you tomorrow.

- B

Good News

I am glad that my mom will be okay. Thankfully for the good news. She was able to eat and everything so I hope she will have no problems afterwards.

I am home, but I am hoping to be back tomorrow, depending on what my dad decides to do. Luckily, the hospital is not far from here, so travel shouldn't be a bitch to get there.

Anyway, I am just tired, but that is to be expected after being awake all day long.

So here's the AI image of the day.

His name is Anthony Pierce.

He does remind me someone. Just don't know who or where he seems to be from. Just know this is what the AI decided he should look like.

I am going to get things done before I settle in for the night. I should be able to do the event tonight on my server, but not forever.

See y'all tomorrow on this blog of being nothing but random but some good or bad news will come in the start before the randomness comes into play.

Yea...

That's it.

See y'all.

- B

News Of My Mom

 Last night, my mom had to be admitted into the hospital due to an infection in her bowels. So far, today, she is doing better, but the doctor is still indecisive if they should send her to another hospital. I am really hoping they won't because I am already stressed enough as it is.

So far, I am okay. I will be okay. I have a lot of support behind my back and I am grateful for them.

Anyway, I am going to hope for good things for the rest of the day.

Her name is Laura Sawyer.

Not sure how I feel about this AI image, but... yea... I don't choose what happens the character. Only choose the fact they are this way.

I hope that tomorrow will be better.

So... I will keep you posted for any news.

Keep my mom in your prayers or thoughts and send her good vibes no matter what.

And thank you to those who are always with me no matter what happens.

I am grateful and appreciated for them.

See you tomorrow.

-B

Glad To See My Brother

I am glad to see my brother today. But I do miss him a lot. So yea.

I am going to try to get things done, but I am the master of getting distracted by things that catches my interest.

Anyway...

His name is Morris Black.

Not gonna lie, he's not the best looking, but he's still looks cool.

Using these AI images can be interesting to noticed. So yea.

I am going to try to get this done and hope for a good day... or night.

I wanna be the best that I ever been.

Yay.

- B

Normally, I Say Something, But Eh...

Normally, I would just start out my blog and say stuff, but today... I don't really have anything to say. 

So instead... we'll just do this.

Her name is Angela Schmidt.

Again, I am surprised by how AI does things... and I am not doing this just to prove a point or anything. I'm just bored and doing this along with the challenge that I chose for the month or two.

Sooo... enjoy it.

That's all.

- B

Staring Into The Void

 Just another day of doing my journals and staring into the void.

I mean, that's how it feels like to me.

His name is Bob Churchill.

Love the fact they make older men with this AI image program.

Anyway, I am going to get on with the rest of the day in hopes that tomorrow will be good to me.

You see... I am in all kinds of emotions and I rather not talk about it that much.

So... let's hope for good vibes.

I hope.

See you all tomorrow.

-B

Surprised With The Results

My parents decided to go to the store today, instead of waiting. Simply because my mom needed hamburger to make the chili later this week. But it's alright. I am going to be alright.

As of what I am doing for the rest of the day, I am not entirely sure yet.

I am a bit sleepy but it will be okay. I hope. Anyway...

Her name is Kathleen McDonald.

It's interesting what random images pop up when you do story generator on characters and AI image to see what they really look like.

I think I am happy to realize the results on how it actually get the age correct.

I am a bit tired and wish to watch a YouTube video until I am done with the day and soon to stream on Twitch and TikTok. So yay me.

I really do hope some of you will come by and watch me sometime.

See you there later on. I hope.

I gotta say that I am glad to actually get back into doing something that I loved and missed a lot.

- B

I Am Amazing

Guess what I got today: A dragon.

Guess what I'm doing? Catching up with stuff so that I won't be behind on stuff.

I am glad that I am doing more to my life. And a lot better in stuff.

This is Nathan Schroeder.

It's amazing and scary at the same time how AI images are.

Anyway, I hope that I can survive the rest of the day since I am tired.

As for what's coming next... well, I got so many days left for March. So let's hope for the best thing to come.

And know that I am amazing.

Let's get on with good vibes and good intentions for the day.

So... see you all tomorrow.

-B

Getting Stuff Done Before 6PM EST

Today is a bit slow, but it's to be expected from what a day I went through a few days ago. I'm doing better, but I still feel like someone is trying to control every move I make.

Anyway, enough of that. I used AI again and this is how it turned out. Her name is Jody Brown. It sort of suits her character. Don't you think?

I have a lot more to do before the night goes out. And I want to be done before 6PM EST here.

Until tomorrow, I hope.

- B

Just A Long Day, But Got Things Done

I gotta say today was a long ass day. And I am glad to finally get things done. Even though it is a bit late.

I'm just glad I don't have to write letters every single day for awhile. But at the least, once a week, at the most every day. Just depending on my mood and what I do that day.

Anyway, I am home and resting a bit.

So yea.

Also, I am using a character generator and an ai image generator to help with my challenge for the next 50 plus days. So... I will show you this for a bit this for the next 50+ days.



- B

Planning Stuff Out

After yesterday, we learn a lot of stuff. Today, we move on with a proud learning lesson.

Anyway, I am going to say that I am stuck in a limbo type of mind. But I'm wide awake and hoping that things will be alright.

I am going to try to figure out what to do for my discord server. I really to do more events to get my server involved. So we are gonna make an awesome!

If any of you wants to join the server, just comment here.

- B

Fear Many Things

I fear many things, but I do fear seeing others getting hurt. I am very protective when it comes to certain people on VRChat. There are good people. Then there are people who likes to cause drama and may bring trauma to you.

Anyway, I guess you could say that I have experienced the both sides of the VRChat realm.

I'm gonna try to be careful who I talk to or get to know because yea... some people can be hard to trust.

I'll be okay, because I do have a limit and a closed circle of people that I have as friends. So yea...

I really need to talk to him about it sometimes. Because I am just a weird person when it comes to certain conversations.

- B

Weird Day

Today has been weird emotionally. But I think I will be alright.

Also, I just learn that Sleep Token is coming to Kentucky in September. And that makes me very excited and wishing that I had a job to go.

I am beyond excited.

I am going to get back to today. Even if I feel a bit weird. So yea. I should be alright. Just tired. I think I am tired.

- B

Bought Cake Today

I bought cake today.

Yes, that's my update for today.

- B

Just Tired

I can finally say that I got things done in my room. Though, it's annoying to have a cat that likes to go inside your closet without you knowing about it until you hear a noise of something falling down.

Anyway, I am good. Just tired. I am not a big fan of Mondays and tomorrow will be a busy day for me as I won't be home at all in the morning hours. I can't help it.

So yea.

I shall get on with the rest of the day.

- B

Just Don't Know How The Year Is Gonna Be

It is always interesting how my family just makes a decision last minute and I am not sure how I feel about trying to hurry up to get ready to go. To tell you the truth, it is tiresome.

Anyway, it won't be until April or May before I can get my permit and only then, I'll be out on the highway to learn how to drive. I have to learn to drive safely first so it might be on the backroads where I'll be driving. Then eventually, I'll be on the main highway. This is not going to be an everyday thing since my dad is trying to find something that is cheaper on gas. So yea... I know for sure that I won't be getting my license anytime soon.

I am also trying to find a job and that's proven to be hard as it is. So I need to get ahold of a program to help me find a job. Here's to hoping for good vibes and good luck.

I just don't know how things are gonna be turning out for the rest of the year.

- B

Scared

We made it official. I'm not sure if the world is ready, but I feel okay. There may be doubts and worries because I've been hurt so much in the past that it's hard to feel like this is really happening.

I've been too used to online dating, you know? And I am always scared if it comes to the time of meeting someone that I've met online.

After what happened with Jack, my ex. I am more scared than ever. He's the second guy that I've met in real life.

What can I do? Just hide my feelings and not tell the truth? I do need to talk. And I know deep down, I am grateful. But again... I am scared.

I once told someone this and they just argue with me about it. Which is stupid. It's okay to be scared of something you are worried about.

I can't help it.

I love Snowie. I really do love him. But why do I feel so scared?

- B

Meep

I am in the meep mood lately. Just randomly saying meep until people gets tired of it. But don't worry, I'm just bored. I'm just gonna get on with the day.

So... if you don't mind... Meep.

- B

Here's To Hoping For A Future Of Driving

When you are tired of the snow, but get more snow in the forecast and you're like... dang it.

I am just trying to figure out what to do for the rest of the day and the snow just makes me wanna stay in bed and sleep more. Ah, well. I'm awake now.

Sometime in the summer, or when it warms up, I'm gonna be more free and be able to drive more.

I'll be happy when I am able to get my permit because I'll be out on the roads and driving around. Quite possible, hoping that my dad will get me a vehicle of my own by then. Here's to hoping he does!

I do want to add that I don't keep high hopes on anything related to what my dad does. It's something that I am well aware of over time and over my life. So yea.

I shall get one with the day.

- B

Get Used To It

Don't you hate it when someone reads anything related to politics out loud? Yea, I do. I am not really in the mood to listen to anything related to such so yea.

I just have this mood that I really don't care what you read to me at this moment so... yea... when I say to stop reading it, I mean it.

We dealt with this president before and he goes back and forth with his words a bit too much. Pretty much, this isn't my first rodeo. So get used to it.

I'm done ranting now. So if you excuse me for a bit.

- B

Don't Mind Me Being Quiet

I am not emotionally stable today. So if I am quiet or talking in a serious tone, don't bother asking what's up.

I pick up emotions from others to the point that I just shut down. Like right now, I am just completely in the silence zone that I really don't want to talk.

If you start saying that you don't care, I will... just shut down. Because I don't really want to talk about it.

How would you feel if someone tells you that they don't really care what happens anymore? Yea.. it's a hit to the heart and it hurts.

So don't mind me if I will be quiet for a bit today.

- B

Happy 1 Month Anniversary

First of all, Happy 1 month anniversary to my wonderful partner. We are amazing together and we are happy.

I'm his rock and he is my hope.

Things sure has changed in a month's time. But yea. I am very happy to be with him right now.

However, we are only official in certain parts. Mainly on TikTok and Discord.

Anyway, I am just gonna be hanging out with him and my found family. So this is a good day.

- B

Kentucky Weather Is Weird

You know when you're in Kentucky when the weather just wants to be all four seasons in the span of a few days... yea... Welcome to Kentucky, y'all.

I guess you could say that things are going okay so far where I am locally. But sadly, not everybody is lucky. So keep those victims in other parts of Kentucky in your thoughts and prayers.

Anyway, I am glad that we didn't go towards my aunt's today. I love the place, not going to lie, but I just didn't want to feel stuck and without talking to my man at the same time.

I am sure that as soon as the weather let's up and warm up. We will be going back my aunt's more often.

I can say one thing for sure... I will be really glad once I get my premit and driving around. Once I'm used to the highway and get my driver's license, I am taking myself a long road trip. A much needed one, in fact. I am just keeping it away from my parents because they don't really think it's a good idea for me to do so. And plus, they are the type that either wants me to stay home or go with me. It's never me, myself, or I. So yea.

Anyway, I think I will relax for a bit longer and hope for good things to come to me.

- B

Rainiest Day of The New Year

Of course, today has to be the most rainiest day of the new year. Anyway, I am glad that I won't be involved on going out for the rest of the day.

I hit my head going into my dad's truck. I will be fine, but it's not a fun feeling at all.

I think I am getting tired of rain, but at the same time, I don't mind at all.

I shall rest for a bit and hope for the best for my day... and maybe the headache that's coming will go away soon.

- B

Headaches Suck

It sucks to be in my home sometimes. I really don't want to lay down because I know if I do, I would never hear the end of it with my mom. So I just stopped laying down after 4PM EST every single day.

My headache is going away slowly, but I really can't say 100% for sure where it came from. Ah, well.

I am going to relax for the rest of the night and maybe avoid going on vrchat because it can lead to major headaches if I don't take breaks from it.

Anyway, I am glad that everything is a bit calmer, but my head still hurts a lot so yea... need to take a break from any loud noises for now.

We shall see how I feel later on.

- B

Painful Morning

I hate that I had to deal with the pain. Especially the pain in my right hip. It's gone, thankfully, but I am cautious about my pain anymore. It does make me a bit shaky but I will be alright.

Anyway, I am trying to be careful when I try to walk around, because my hip was hurting a lot. I am fine now.

But still, I have to keep an eye out on my hip more often.

I am going to get more stuff done because I am heading onto VRChat in a bit. You all should try playing it sometimes.

- B

Waiting For News From State of Play

Have you ever felt like the world is just repeating itself over and over? Not exactly like deja vu, but almost there.

Oh, and I don't like how my family always change schedules at the last minute and it's annoying as hell.

Anyway, I am going to get this done since State of Play for Playstation is today. Can't wait to see what is coming out or already announced.

I am not expecting any news of Kingdom Hearts 4. We shall see.

- B

Getting Ready For The Day To Be Over

I am just so ready for the day the be over with. I'm done being dragged into drama.

And one person is trying to cause that. But it's not him, or my friends. It's just a person who needs to learn to grow up and stop causing trouble.

Anyway, I am just tired of everything and wish to stay quiet about it.

I will get on with the day... and hope that all will get better.

- B

Low Side of Emotions

Today has been very eventful as one could say. But I am alright. Just I sort of ate a lot of food.

Anyway, I am going to get things done and hope for the best for the rest of the day.

I am kind of a bit on the low side of emotions, but I will be fine either way.

- B

I did stayed up all night

Just trying to do my best with today, since I did stayed up all night.

We have two cats that are now in heat and it's getting annoying as well.

I am going to get things done and hope for the best of the rest of the day.

- B

Just Went Shopping Today

So I went shopping today. I didn't really get much. And surprisingly, I didn't buy a book. So I am proud of myself.

However, I did buy a new journal. And my mom help me buy a plushie. And I got mainly T-Shirts. So yay me.

I am tired, but I am feeling good and hyper. Also, got cake.

I think tomorrow my family will be taking a break. But I am not sure yet.

-B

Enjoy My Friday

I gotta say, things are a bit weird today.

I finally was able to sit down and do what I want.

Although, I am tired now.

Anyway, I'm gonna try to enjoy my Friday and hope for the best for all of us. Especially with the weekend.

- B

Worth Getting Things Done

I am glad to be able to get things done. It's early, but it is worth it.

Anyway, I am not a big fan of thunderstorms during this season because of the past history of Kentucky getting tornadoes at odd times.

I hope all is well.

I really miss streaming live on TikTok... so I should be able to get back to that pretty soon. We shall see.

I will be playing a game for everybody else later on. Well, only on my discord.

- B

Something About A Book Coming Back To Me

I've forgotten about a book called Fallen. And I read somewhere they made a tv series based on it.

Something about this book keeps coming back to me.Ah, well.

I am going to get to get more stuff done. I hope that tomorrow will be good to me. Despite the rain that is coming in and stuff.

Ah, well.

- B

Glad Today Is Over

So I have a lot of stuff to dealt with today and I am glad it's over.

My doctor's appointment was today. And I had blood work done today as well. It's never fun getting poked twice. Go me.

Anyway, I am doing good. Just gotta try to get stuff done so I can be free for the rest of the night. Yay me.

- B

Valentine's Day in 11 Days!

It's another Monday. And it's time to move on from topics that I have been bothered by.

Valentine's Day is in 11 days! I wish I could get a special something for this day, but I'm okay with nothing at the same time. So yea.

I'm used to not getting anything for Valentine's Day as you would know. The last gift I gotten was from my mom. And well, that's been way over 20 years ago.

Anyway, I am going to get the last two journals done and then off to never never land (joking).

- B

Moved On And Life Is Slow Today

I was at my aunt's and I had to tell her what happened between me and my ex. As well as the new info about what my friend found out about my ex.

Life is not as it seems.

And well, I have moved on.

I do hope that once May comes around, I will be free of one of the payments I am making from purchasing something for my ex.

If I had a job, I could pay off the other one in a heartbeat.

Speaking of jobs... I do need to search for a job to the local concert venue to see if they are hiring.

Anyway, life today is a bit slow. But I will be glad that it will pass by quickly.

- B

Trying To Keep Myself From Being Late

I guess you could say that I had a busy day today. I never thought I would be late on journals.

Ah, well.

I am sort of tired. But I wish to get things done as fast as possible and not let anything interrupt me again. But yea...

I will get this done and hope for the best for me.

Also, keep my mom on your thoughts and prayers. I hope she will be alright.

- B

Not Until I Feel Ready

I'm not in a mood for any drama for today and the weekend. I'm just dealing with pain and I can snap in a heartbeat if you make me feel like crap.

Anyway, I guess today has been one of those days that I just feel completely out of it.

Plus, I missed him a lot. So glad he is a good person. I'm glad that I met him.

Anyway, I'll introduce him to you all eventually. Just not right now.

Not until he feels ready. Not until I feel ready.

- B

Get On With My Life

I will never tell anybody to go after anybody unless there's something about the person that is wrong. And let me tell you, my recent ex did me wrong. And discovering something just made it worse on him.

Oh, well.

Anyway, I am just not gonna go there anymore. It is what it is and most of them brought things on themselves. I do not cause drama and it's never me.

I shall get on with my life. And forget them.

I hope that I can get over the few days ahead because my period has started and it's not backing down anytime soon.

Basically, don't try me around this time. I'm an emotional bitch and I do not have any mood for any bullshit. So fuck off.

- B

PS: Forgot to mention that today is my brother's birthday and he gets to go home today. I'm happy for him.

Don't Lie Around Me

I want to say this first... if I did anything wrong in my life, I will own up to it. I own up to the location, but I know for sure I would never message anybody unless I was told to. There's a difference there for me and other stalkers. And if someone keeps on believing that, that is on them.

Anyway, I know I have many things in my past that I did wrong. But again, I would never be that stupid person to message someone unless it's a fucking emergency.

Now that is over with... I am done with liars. I deal with liars in my best enough to know when people enjoy lying... and my ex did so.

It always makes me wonder why people enjoy trying to add a fake truth to a lie. I was done with it when someone else told me what was going on. So yea... don't lie.

I am not a normal person at all. And I will never be a normal person. I hope people will see that. This is why I want to be a detective one day because somehow I am able to read people like a book.

I am going to work on my goals now. And I don't want anymore problems to come into my life.

- B

I Shouldn't Be Scared What Is Next

I almost broke down this morning, but I lifted myself up with a reminder that I am better than that person who broke my heart.

I am still missing pieces, but I think I found the one. The only problem, I can't predict my tomorrows just yet. And I don't want to because I do fear what is next.

After being hurt badly, I am scared of a lot of things and I really don't know what is my next step in life is yet.

I miss streaming on TikTok a lot... maybe once everything is settled down, I'll be going back to it more often.

After all, we still got so many days left and the app is still not on Google or Apple yet.

Anyway, to my friend in the past, Froggy... I am gonna do better. I will be better than my ex.

- B

We Shall See

You can't hide forever. Eventually, what happened to him will catch up, and well, ruin his life. If not already.

I couldn't sleep because of what I keep thinking. Maybe things would be better, but we shall see.

I do know it is that time of the month. So yea.

Anyway, I shall get on with the rest of the day. If any of you wants to see me stream, come by my Twitch.

- B

Writing is Hard To Do

Writing is hard to do when you are doing something else. I need a day off.

So yea...

Anyway, I will get on with stuff now.

- B

I am better

When you find out something that hurts you more than anything and you realize that you made a mistake for standing up for someone.

I hate how I feel. And I really don't care. I'm done.

If the world finds out, it'll be on him. The only way I can do it is if the person gave me permission and since we wanted to protect this person, I'll respect it. I'm just waiting for more to come up.

Because you should know, one way or another, the world will crash down on you. And what you do, it's on you.

Anyway, I will end this blog with a positive note.

I will do better. I am better. You should learn to do better and stop before things gets worse, but I'm sorry, it's already worse on you.

- B

Getting Back To Things

I really need to take time out for myself sometimes. That's why I am dedicating Fridays as gaming night for Twitch only. So each Friday I will be doing that from now on.

I am going to keep this blog short because I just wanted to let you all know that I am ready to be more myself and play more games.

See y'all on Twitch on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

And TikTok on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

- B

My Own Little World

I guess today has been a bit slow to think about.what is going on in my mind. I have this habit of keeping things in my own little world.

What goes on in that world, I won't ever say.

Just sometimes I feel out of place and rather go in that world to be someone I am used to. It's still me. Just not in the real world.

Anyway, I am going live again on TikTok just for tonight. I will keeping Fridays for my video games only for Twitch.

So yea.

See ya on those if you wanna join.

- B

I should get back to writing songs

I need to get back to writing songs again. Because they are a part of who I am.

Maybe one day I shall do it. Whenever I get back to being inspired, I will.

It takes a lot of emotions in order to write a song or a story or a poem.

It just takes time.

Anyway, I am going to share a song I wrote during my time with my ex. It might be an AI singing it, but it is 100% true how I felt during my relationship with him.

Lonely Ghost Version 2

I should actually put the song that I predicted my own breakup on that site as well. So yea.

- B

We're Back For Now

I guess you could say I am doing better with my life right now.

I am really not in the mood to type a longer blog, but just know I am back to lives on TikTok.

So wish me luck!

- B

Done With The Past

I am going to say this off the bat: I am done with my past.

I am just done with people from my past trying to get the best of me.

I am not what you say. I don't care what you say. I'm just done with what you are doing.

Anyway, I am going to get stuff done and enjoy my life as it is.

So yea... let's hope for good things to come.

- B

Trying My Best

I am trying my best here.

But the more I am able to say something, but the more I don't trust spies of you know who.

I do want to say that I did move on. But my way of moving on is way different than anyone else's because of my age. I am the type that doesn't beat around the bush. I just want to add that. It might take me two weeks before I do officially move on.

Well, it has been two weeks. So fuck you.

I'm moving on and I don't care what you think of me anymore.

Anyway, I am going to get this done and enjoy my life as usual.

Oh, and I hope the lives on Tiktok be fixed soon. Because I'm doing better.

- B

Hate Liars

I hope that things will be good for me. I am done with the past. I am done with people assuming things from me. That's the betrayal that hurts a lot.

And I have prove. That person doesn't. This is why I keep everything I find as evidence. When you are going just by words, that will hurt a lot.

Just because it's a past mistake that I dealt with. And assuming that I was not loyal... Fuck you.

Anyway, I am going to get this done. I hope that the weeks ahead will get better.

Because those men from my past are asses.

Be careful with what you say around me.

That's all I can say.

- B

What is my limit?

Sometimes I wonder what is my limit.

Is that a good thing? To have a limit?

So yea, I am going to get things done in silence since I am not feeling good. Mainly it's my stomach doing it and it sucks a lot.

I will be alright once I have a day to myself.

- B

Life is not simple.

Life is not as simple as it should be. Things can be complicated. Things can be good. Things can be all over the place.

Right now, I'm just trying my best to get stuff done so that I can have more time to read. I love reading, but I don't love having no time in the day for anything.

I think starting tomorrow, I'll do my personal journals during my nap time since I don't really nap until towards 1pm est. And hopefully soon, my mental and emotional self will get back to normal. Then I can get back on track with my normal schedule of life. So yea.

I hope that I will be alright. Just taking one step at a time. My heart is already healed, just my mind is not. It's not a good combination to have a mix of emotions and thoughts. So yea.

I am going to get things done and hopefully I will be better with my day.

Who knows.

- B

Just Waiting For Things To Come

Well, you'll just have to wait for news about stuff.

Just waiting for things to come eventually. So yea.

Anyway, I am keeping this short.

- B

Just Got Busy Today

I am not ready to admit that I do have feelings for someone. I feel like I don't want people to think I am dating someone. So I am taking my time before I do say anything. Until I know it's for real and genuine, I will say for now that I am not looking.

Right now, we are just there for each other. So yea.

I am keeping this short because I won't be too active with my journals. I think it will be alright to skip a day or two. Just as long I'll be able to remember it.

Anyway, I am going to get this done. I did had a long day today.

So I finally got my shot in my hip. It was a woman that gave me the shot today and she was amazing. 100% recommend. Then my dad had to go somewhere for something he needed. Then we went to Kroger's. Then Burger King. Then finally Walmart. So, I am glad that things got done.

Anyway, I am going to get started with my night. So see you when I can.

- B 

Meeting New Friends Help

Sometimes, it's better to get used to moving on. Meeting new friends in your life is a good answer.

Don't let anybody else tell you what to do. So yea.

I am moving on as I am as a person. No matter what happens.

I have been looking at random websites and this one... made my day. Website in question: http://catsoundboard.com/

Anyway, I hope that with some news, there will be something good to come in this life of ours. Who knows.

We shall see what will happen next... and who knows what my journey will be.

Until then.

- B

Slowly Getting Better

I love how I find things so fucking funny. I rarely cuss by the way. This is one moment that I am allow to say that word.

Life today has been a bit slow today, but that's okay. I'm fine with it.

So here's the video that I found is so effing funny: https://youtu.be/6v_R180kIGs?si=SAwLAWYoLpL85eou 

Anyway, how am I feeling today? A bit better. Each day is getting better and I'm glad for that.

I still feel hurt from time to time when something reminds me of him. But it will get better. And I do hope it does.

I'm gonna get back to sharing my blog to my server on discord. If anybody wants to join, please shoot me a comment.

Until then, I look for a semi busy week ahead.

- B

Me Time

I am going to try my trust in myself by going to virtual events. Starting with the one today. I can't tell you much about them because it's a bit NSFW and not worth sharing on here.

As I dive back into things that I enjoyed awhile ago, I want to add that sometimes, you have to take things slow.

I miss the casually hanging out with my ex, but it is what it is. I'm used to doing things alone. So I will be okay.

I really want to check up on him, but I'm scared to ask anybody. For the fear they will say something that would hurt me more. I cared about the guy, but I do care about my mental health more.

So, tonight, I'm having a me time and relaxing and having some fun.

- B

Finding Interesting Things

I am trying to figure out what made me feel like that late in the night last night. It's over though.

But today, I learn that Kingdom Hearts had a hint of something for the future.

Still interesting how it's inspired by an American folklore a bit.

Alright, I am going to get back to normal.

As it comes close to Tiktok ban, I'll make a special post.

See ya.

- B

Oh: Here's the news about Kingdom Hearts

A letter to whoever needs to hear it

 Dear whoever you are,

Maybe it's not something you want to hear, but I do forgive you. I'm not asking you to forgive me. You never heard my end of the story. You rather believed what you wanted to believe. And I knew in my heart, it was best to break my promise of never leaving you, but to leave you. It was hurting me. And I knew it was making you lose hope in me more and more. So in the end, it felt mutual for this decision. I hope it comes with a lesson to learn to have a conversation with your next partner before you assume anything. While I know my part, but one part I vowed to never do and that was contact people behind your back. Yet, you believed what you wanted to believe. I forgive you for that. Just know you did betray me. And you lost your trust in me. It was for the best.

Whatever happens for the future, the good and bad, understand I am a strong believer in karma. I will not hurt you no more. It's not me. I won't go after you.

To whoever that friend that told lies, I lost my trust in you. I have set boundaries on every friend that I've made now, because of those lies.

While I admit, I did wrong on tracking your location. But you did made your bed. I discovered things by accident and I won't share them, even if someone begs for them.

You may do as you please. You have your freedom now. Just as I have my own freedom.

Just know, not everybody might always gift you presents like I did. You have to accept that fate. And the reality. No matter how harsh it seems.

So whoever you are, learn to love yourself.

Sincerely,

- B

Getting Back To Normal Slowly

So lsst night, I went back to streaming on tiktok. I think it's a topic that I would like to discuss... Tiktok has been a good place for me. I hate to see it go away, but it is what is. And we can't help what our government tries to do.

Things haven't been the same. But I don't really care anymore.

Being a 38 year old woman, things can be weird. And for my case, I am used to it.

I guess I am basically saying that I am getting back to normal slowly, but not all at once.

I will continue to go forth with my journey and hope for good things to come.

- B

Not Ready To Explain Anything

It might take days to weeks before I can talk about what really happened between the two of us. All I can say for now is it was a betrayal for me and a lost of trust for him.

That's all I can say. I do not want to go into anymore detail than this until I am sure I am ready. I am still hurting and healing and confused all at the same time.

I did it not only for me, but for him as well.

It's just my way of showing him trust.

However anybody wishes to see it.

I do not need to discuss it any further at this moment.

So until I am ready to explain what really happened, I want to concentrate on things I enjoy.

Mainly books and Vrchat. Vrchat has worlds that reminds me of the scenes in the fantasy books... so that is why I go there.

Anyway, I will continue to heal. So until then, I love you all.

- B

Heartbreak and Healing

I'm not quite ready to tell my story.

But I do want to say that I broke up with my ex fiance. It's never easy.

And I want to be respectful for him. I want people to be respectful to him as well.

It'll take awhile to heal from it all.

Just one day at a time, you know?

I'll keep posting on here every single day as it's part of my own challenge and my healing process.

Heartbreak and Healing.

- B

Just a thought.

 You ever get the feeling that somebody is trying to make you the bad person? Yea... How many people knows that I am a nice and caring person? But yet, people tries to say that I am a bad person. Don't let people take your kindness and shove it.

... 2

Don't blame me if something happens.

Don't ask.

Don't find me.

...

 It's a short post tonight.

But... a short message instead.

Expect the unexpected.

-B

Trying To Survive

Past memories pop up. Sometimes I rather not talk about them, because I suffer a lot of pain all my life.

I have never been the same since my grandpa passed in 2002. I've seen people suffer too much. The worst was my grandma. Cancer sucks. I really wish there was a way to get rid of it so we don't have to deal with the pain of it.

The worst of all is dealing with my mom's ex. He's done a lot of bad stuff towards me... it can have a lasting affect to your mental health.

And yet, I had tried so many times to tell my mom, my concerns if he ever comes back here.

Today, our door was opened. We were gone. Nothing is stolen, thankfully. But it's not the first time.

I often wonder if something is telling us to get out of this place. Who knows.

Anyway, I just hope things will get better for me, mentally.

- B

Hello 2025

 Here's to trying my best to blog every single day for 365 days.

I hate to make it something bad, but a memory is import to some.

Life isn't always what it seems. Life is short. Life isn't something you take advantage of.

My fiance had a bad day and I gave him a day to be with himself. Sometimes, you need it after losing a love one. It takes time to heal, but sometimes, you can't help, but to remember things.

I can't forget when my grandparents passed away. So I know how it feels. And how it feels when you feel like you haven't spent enough time to be with someone.

He's okay. I'm okay.

But life does happen. The good. The sad. We just have to be there for each other.

I sometimes just want to get on a bus or a plane and be there to sit beside him in silence to show him that I will be there for him.

And here I am, not feeling well. Sitting here, watching a documentary about Avicii that came out recently. I hate to relate to those who don't wish to be related, but I do. Sometimes, in life, you do lose your sense of self.

But either way, I will be okay. Just something to think about for making yourself a better person mentally.

I shall end for now and give myself a bit of a break.

- B