Just Things I Need To Think About

I am trying to be in the best mood possible. And in reality, nobody really cares about what I think.

There's a reason why I don't want to leave from here. And that reason is because I don't want to lose my mom right now. I need to be there for her at all costs.

Even if it means that I will never get a home. And I just gave up at this point on ever trying because I need to be here for my mom.

Nobody really understands that I need to be here and I can't leave from here. Her sister is here... her family grave is here.

She already gave up... and at this point, how her health is... she won't be able to go anywhere anymore.

I don't want to give up... but I do realized that I need to get my hip fixed at some point this year. 

4 weeks of recovery, 6 months of physical therapy is gonna be hard. But it's all in the matter of getting my hip fixed.

And because of that, I can't go anywhere. I won't be able to. I just can't do it.

Kentucky might be my home, but I really don't care where I go... it's just my health and my family is going to be first before anything else.

And this is a conversation that I need to sit down with my whole family online just in case...

I love them... just I can't be stressed out or anything right now. I am doing this for my own health.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Should I be Okay?

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be okay. Thins are just gonna get harder for me and that's how it's gonna be for me.

Ah, well.

I am trying my best to be okay when I am truly not.

I blame my period for most of the things.

I should be okay for a bit.... who knows.

Anyway, shall get back to my daily journals... in hopes that I will be okay. 

See ya tomorrow.

B

My Choice Is About To Get Strict

Sometimes actions have consequences, but this is just the last straw. I felt like they dodge the whole idea of getting someone's side... instead they chose to just unfriend someone.

And yea... enough is enough.

And people really do need to stop and listen a lot.

You cannot just unfriend or just go away without confronting them first. Like my ex, he refused to talk it out... and yea.

Things are not as they seem... and I had enough.

And my choice is about to get strict and I don't think anybody will like it.

See ya tomorrow.

B

I Hate Weekends

Sometimes people forget to realized that I have a life too. And it really is hard on me that I get home late and have to deal with shit.

And yea...

I am behind on my journals because of that.

This is why I stopped doing my journals because people keeps pulling me back and forth... and it's not good for my mental state. 

And this is the very thing on why I hate weekends.

Anyway, see ya tomorrow.

B

Using You For Something

It's funny how you feel like people are using you because you have a computer and they don't.

And I feel like it hurts to realize that I am doing too much as it is.

And so forth... I am tired.

I'm hurting all over and that's because my period is slowly trying to start.

And well, I hope that everything will be alright. Who knows really.

See ya tomorrow.

B

Really Tired

I have a lot to deal with, but I will be fine as I gotta get things done for the next few hours before I get online to record more videos... which I do need to edit... and yea...

It's hard to manage my time anymore.

I should be okay. I am tired tho... and I hope my period would actually start sooner than later... as in a week, I would be getting my MRI done. I'm kind of nervous while at the same time, I am kind of dreading it... because I do want this to be done.

So... it's all good for now.

I should be going back to finishing my journals while getting other things done. I'll get started with the unity part.... so... yea.

See ya tomorrow.

B

The Hell We All Know Is Coming

 I feel like the hell we all know is coming.

I should be okay for what is next.

I am tired from being in a rush at the store. And I should be okay by tomorrow.

I do need to sleep early tonight because I am that tired.

I'm just done with everything that is going on. And a kid... lying... trying to show fake proof that they are an adult.

So yea.

I should be okay. But karma is not gonna be a good one for this kid.

See ya tomorrow.

B